Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thursday-6:15am

Poor Leah! Her back went out on her and she was home from work yesterday and just miserable. I didn't know she'd been going to the chiropractor the last couple of weeks--was getting steadily better, she said--then woke up in terrible shape yesterday. I sure hope she feels better today. She wasn't even up to emails yesterday. Ariel was there to help her out. Poor baby! :(
Since I had been basically at the computer a lot, I took the day off from anything extra yesterday as long as Leah wasn't coming over. We've been having above normal temp days--upper 50's! First we had below normal and snow and now we've had 20 degrees above normal. Been gorgeous!
I actually slept for a while during the night--12:30-5am! Kind of a long nap? So--what to do today...?
I need to double-check and tweak the Etsy posts. I was way too shot to do that by the time I got done.
Then--the irons in the fire...do I want to tackle the rest of the clothes...or the 30 gallon tank...or the Christmas cards...?
Or should I make a trip to the Post Office, buy gas, and pick up the typewriter? The gentleman called yesterday and the Underwood is ready! I could probably have him put it in my trunk and worry about getting it into the apartment afterwards, you know? We left my little green cart in Dagan and Leah's car...so I could go over and pick that up tonight...and see how Leah is doing and if she needs anything...?
Will any of that happen? All depends on how my day unfolds.
This is a daily process. I wake up feeling dang awful every day. After 3-5 hours of being awake I have a better idea of how "good" or physically productive my day is going to be. Some days it takes even longer to get to the better part of my day and some days never get any better. But--I do love the planning and prioritizing my options. I always assume I will have a good day and will be able to get something extra done, right? Think positive. :) But--even if I don't have a good day physically--doesn't mean it won't be a good day, right?
I really don't have too many miserable, whine-whine, feel-sorry-for-myself days since I have been lucky enough to be house bound here in Fargo. Being able to self-regulate my physical activity (and therefore the pain level to a fair extent)--the freedom from having to push myself like I did attempting to work or go to school--not having a family to take care of--being free to sleep whenever I am able to, however crazy my hours end up--all of that is such a tremendous blessing I can't even tell you!
Life could be soooo much worse. I know. It was.
Still is some days.
I wouldn't wish this pain and exhaustion on my worst enemy. And I really, really wish I could take it away from the people I love. I have felt like that about Dagan since the day he was born--always wished it could be me instead of him, you know? Now Leah is suffering. And my dear friend, Ruby, fell and broke her arm--nasty break--and is suffering. I wish I could take their pain for them.
Ever since I was a kid I have wished I could take away people's pain and fear. Just wash love over them--soothe their souls.
Contemplative this morning.
Well--we'll see what kind of day will unfold. But--it will be a good day--regardless. :):)
Can you feel love washing over you?

4 comments:

  1. So many questions... I'd need a big pot of coffee just to begin to think about them all.

    I'm sorry Leah's back is out - back pain is awful when it knocks you off your feet.

    ...and you... Don't let that "I want to put my hands on that lovely typewriter NOW"-fever make you do anything you'll regret...

    I think I'll just ponder what Karma is pondering - "What should I do with this precious plastic nylon meshy thingy treasure of mine?"
    :)

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  2. Hi Iggy!
    Karma does love her treasures. The precious plastic nylon meshy thingie was another treasure she discovered from packaging of some sort--can't even remember now. Tied one end and sometimes I hook it on to her toy wand and string thingie and drag it or whip it about. Cat frenzy!

    I do want to put my fingers on that Underwood keyboard--but the day is still questionable and it would probably sit in my trunk for a while even if I do get over there to pick it up--hehe!

    I sure hope Leah's back is better today. Yup--back pain is the pits!

    Well, I need another cup of coffee...:):)

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  3. Poor Leah....I hope her back heals quickly. Has she thought about trying acupuncture? Michelle suffered terribly for a whole year after the car accident. Physiotherapy did not help but she finally went for an acupuncture treatment and had instant results. After the third treatment, she felt like she was near normal again.

    I hate pain days and feeling exhausted with no energy is terrible too. It's amazing how debilitating it can be to have no energy. I went through it recently myself and still have days of feeling exhausted.

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  4. Hi Serena,
    No--hadn't thought of acupuncture. I wonder if they even have an acupucturist up here? I just looked and most of them are also chiropractors? Hummm? I'll mention it to Leah, tho--thanks.

    I regularly have exhaustion days (like recently) that can sometimes even last a week or more. They're hard to explain--but kind of overwhelming--you can hardly lift an arm sometimes. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is just a part of the fibro, too. Used to be what the diagnosis was before they labeled fibro, I guess. CFS doesn't have all the pain with it. Anyways, I try to stay positive and not allow myself to get frustrated and down about it like I used to. I am sure glad you've been improving and feeling better. Can hardly wait to see your new art studio set up when you get it moved! :):)

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