Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Tuesday-11:30am-blogging shift

Good Morning! 
Another week has flown by.
We've had some sun...
...some cloudy dark days... 
...our two weeks of faux-spring melted all the snow... 
...but we had a smidgen of snow a couple times after the weather returned to our normal seasonal 30s-low 40s again.  But it melted away again by afternoon. 
Since Friday a pair of Canadian geese have been waddling by once or twice a day.     
The mate was far enough ahead that by the time I was ready to take a picture... 
...there was just the one in my sights. 
Goodness they are huge close up!  And their webbed feet are so big they look like small plates--so they have to walk like a human with flippers on--LOL!
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Karma loves her new Cat TV, I tell ya!
The cloudy...
...and the sunny days kept alternating. 
In the evenings if the sun's rays are unimpeded we can be blasted with what looks like a small sun... 
...but is just glare off the neighboring building.  :)
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As you can probably tell, I am procrastinating.  
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Let's get the announcement out of the way...
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Okay...
I've been blogging since 2007 and have never taken a break.  I'm pretty sure I may have gone over a week between posts on rare occasions, but I don't think I have ever gone two weeks.  Those of you who have followed me for years know that even the only once a week blogging has been different for me...and that has been going on a lot...especially since the move.  Well, I pushed it and got unpacked and basically sorted all my stuff by October.  But...we're coming up on six months now and I am still not "recovered" to my normal.
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This has been the worst fibro flare since the last time I moved eleven years ago.  I know it took me a good year (or two?) to recover last time, but I thought to myself--I was in much worse physical shape to begin with back then so I should recover faster this time.  Right?  One would think--LOL!  But fibro is a fickle and ever-changing companion.  (And--I have to reluctantly face the fact that I'm a decade older and wasn't able to do as much, in general, as I was about 9-10 years ago.)
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 Pain focus can shift around--leave or not leave.  I remember when I was trying to finish college and attended an art class where we were supposed to sit in hard, tall, backless stools for a 3 1/2 hour class twice a week.  All it took was a couple of weeks and knife pain decided to settle right into my tail bone.  I didn't use the stools as much as possible...I stood next to the table (but that set off my plantar fasciitis and heel spurs--LOL!)...finally got permission from the instructor to do most of my work at home and leave after instructions & sharing.  Fibro can be as stubborn and persistent as Miss Karma when she gets something into her head.  That knife pain (that could bring tears to my eyes just getting out of a chair and the subsequent array of special pillows tried for parking my bottom on) lasted over two years.  It could have lasted for the rest of my life or a few days.  That particular knife pain chose to stay almost 2 1/2 years.  Then it just faded away...only an achy hint of it since if I sit too long on a hard chair.  (You can believe I pay attention and move--LOL!)
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It's the same with the exhaustion...the chronic fatigue.  I've been able to self-regulate my activity all the years I lived over at West Winds.  Until Ian came along I only left my apartment 3-4 times a year.  Other than Caroline coming for cleaning every two weeks I'd see Dagan and/or Leah 0-3 times a month.  It was easy to self regulate my limited spoons. 
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Note: For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about (or, like myself, can't always remember well--another side effect is fibro fog brain)...you can read the short essay on Spoon Theory here. :)
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 I never had a lot of spoons to begin with.  This past year or so my spoon average has dropped considerably.  You might recall me mentioning my "noodle" days where I feel so weak all over that my arms and legs feel like noodles.  Remember when I spilled the entire huge Britta water container trying to put it in the frig at my old place?  Well, I already put a chip in the glass plate on the bottom of my microwave here because I couldn't lift a measuring cup quite high enough to get it out of the micro.  True--I am quite short (and getting shorter) and everything is higher here--but, if I am honest with myself, it was that general CFS weakness--noddle arm--that did it.
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Now, don't get me wrong.  I am doing just fine.  I am not feeling sorry for myself...maybe a little too frustrated sometimes the past couple months...but I am in a good mood and very happy with my new place and Karma and I hang out and watch Netflix--LOL!  (Leah told me I am always in a good mood.)  But I had thought I'd be out of this flare by New Years...and then by my birthday.  Totally thought at New Year's that I was being ridiculously silly saying it could take till my birthday.  You know what an optimist I am.  Well, it's a week till my birthday and I am only a smidgen better than I was at New Year's.  
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So, I have to face the fact that I could feel like this for the rest of my life, a couple years, a few months, or start feeling better tomorrow.  But I can't count on tomorrow or any time soon, really.  I still have even less spoons than I normally used to have.  So--I need to make some changes.  If I am going to have as much of my extra-limited "good" time as possible for McFamily, art & crafts, attempting a social life here...I have to shift spoons about.  Maybe I'll have more spoons soon...or after while...??  But for now I only have my very few to work with.
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So, I decided not to hook up with the T-Stands For Tuesday group anymore.  I never was able to make it around to visit the group again last week.  It takes me a long time to visit and comment on 15-20 blogs (even when I don't have computer issues)...and it's a kind of time sensitive group, of course.  Even giving me a week to visit...well, I am just not going to connect with the T-Day group right now.  Not sure if I'll be back or when...but I would need more spoons.  ;)
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You might not see the red thermal cup again soon.         
And--I will not be around to visit and comment on blogs as much in general.  But I will still try to comment back as much as possible with my own loyal blog commenters.  (Love you guys!)  So if any of you happen to miss my chatter--please comment on the blog, okay?  [Or write a letter!  I have a set-up in my comfy chair with pillows and a lapdesk so that I can usually hand-write even on bad days.] 
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So this way I will just blog whenever I feel up to it.  I am not sure what that will look like.  I might take a long break or even end up blogging more often with shorter blog posts--who knows?  Kind of just blogging without obligation and chatting with people who are nice enough to come by to visit, I guess.  Till I have more spoons.  :) :)
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Okay--done with the blog shift announcement.  
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Oh--and thank you for being so patient with me, those of you who have waited for a month or more for a nice long chatty email.  :) 
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Well, Dagan was here Friday and discovered that I hadn't had an operating system update since 2011.  Was still using Snow Leopard (got that after Leopard, as I recall).  So he started the newest system upgrade--El Capitan.  (What a funny name.)  This system is new enough to get Chrome updates, too--tada!  By the time I got it downloaded and installed--and discovered I wasn't connected to the internet anymore--it was time for Movie Night.
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I did go down for the movie and did get one of the big stuffed chairs...but this time it took 40 minutes for six old ladies to get the movie started (we all hate Universal Remotes!)...so we had chatted a lot...a couple ladies had made popcorn...I had already seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding...was very tired (big surprise)...so I excused myself and went home to work on the laptop.
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   And--El Capitan is working!  I have not seen the crash boxes since!  McLap is even slower, of course, with the new updated system--but now we can maybe work on cleaning up files and such to get a little extra speed.  Or Dagan can--LOL!  We had to get her functional first.  (I know how she feels!)
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  Even when McLap is plugged in it only is running at 77%.  The battery is dying.  It only lasts 5-10 minutes if you unplug it.  A couple months ago it lasted more like half an hour.  But McLap is functional again--for now--whoohoo!!  Good thing because the old HP laptop from Dagan's work--the mouse won't work at all so it's kind of dead in the water as of a few days ago.  I'm hoping Dagan can come over after work on Friday again this week.  ;)
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Leah was here till late for Crafts last night.  We had a blast!  Were using emboss resist techniques and watercolors on 140 lb watercolor paper.
We laid them on some old craft/art towels to dry.  Miss Karma got in trouble for plopping down on them.  Luckily she picked the drier ones and didn't rainbow herself with bright colored paint--LOL! 
This week--I have social possibilities every single day.  Today I am going to drag myself down for a piece of cake for the March birthdays.  Caroline comes to clean tomorrow.  There are things I could go to on Thursday and Friday...and Dagan may come over for tech support on Friday again.  See?  You know I will never manage to be doing something every single day.  In my world, just having company takes spoons.  ;)
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So, I shall say goodbye for now.  Honestly, not sure when I'll be back.  I may only have enough spoons to write my own blog and write people back who leave blog comments or write emails--but I won't stop blogging altogether.  I don't think I could.  I'd miss you all too much.
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So, I am off to take my half a spoon down for some cake...come home...and collapse with Miss Karma...and wait to see if the geese sweethearts stroll by today.
Love and hugs!!!  :):)
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"As long as the candle burns, there is time to make repairs."
Rabbi Salanter

42 comments:

  1. Dear Rita I will really miss you and Karma and all the fun Mcfamily happenings. Oh, and the grouses and geese...
    But I completely understand. I have never had that lengthy kind of flare up of such pain and I can't imagine how frustrating it must get besides not being comfortable. But your body wants you to rest and so you must. I wish you all the best and will watch for you to pop in on your blog once in awhile. Take care, and HUGS!

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  2. i do hope you get down to the birthday social. :) and i understand the need for a break. i've really needed one for about a month, now, but with good fences, i've forced myself to keep going. but i might have to make that decision soon, too. take care of yourself.

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  3. Take care of yourself first, friend. So glad you and Karma like the new place so much. Happy Easter!

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  4. I share the knife pain in th coccyx area and have tried different cushions. Nothing helps, does it? Hugs to you, my friend x

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  5. T Tuesdays do offer a lot of links to follow! I'll subscribe to your blog and keep up with you that way. :)

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  6. That's good to recognize how to prioritize the good days when you're in less pain. I've been taking a break from blogging as well compared to past years. It's challenging to have enough energy for everything and to do it like you want to do, isn't it?

    I'll look forward to reading updates on your blog when you post them. I've enjoyed getting to know you through your blog; and am always inspired by your creativity!

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  7. Your needs come first. Just glad you didn't say you were going to quit blogging entirely. Hugs and Happy Easter!

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  8. Dear Rita I hope you will feel better soon, atleast the pain will be alleviated. Will miss your random posts and pictures.Advanced Birthday wishes to you.
    You take care and rest well.
    Hugs
    Susan

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  9. I've just read the spoon story for the first time. And I understand your reason for leaving T for Tuesday. You will be missed.
    But I am one of your regular followers so I will continue to read your blogs, which I so much enjoy. I started following you when you moved to this place. I hope you will have enough spoons left in the day to occasionally blog and keep your follwers updated with what's happening and how you are feeling.
    It's great that McLap has had some therapy. Hopefully soon to have some follow-up treatment....
    Karma is looking in fine fettle. I hope your pain and fatigue will get less as time passes. I really do.
    Wishing you a happy Easter (with lots of spoons)
    Blessings,
    Lisca

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  10. Wow- you get some interesting critters walking by your window. How cool. And what is cat TV? I never heard of it, but I have heard of dog tv, so maybe it is like that. Hope you come back to blogging soon, but I understand how hard it is when you don't feel well. Hope you will feel better soon! Hugs!

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  11. Sorry you won't be joining the T gang, but pleased you are not giving up blogging altogether - I will find another way to catch up with you! We don't go to film night as we have watched most of the films (or wouldn't want to watch them!) Tomorrow we are going to an afternoon tea (although with my diabetes I can't eat everything) but we are trying to be sociable! I hope there are some events that you will be able to join in. It's so good that you and Leah have your craft nights - glad Karma didn't get near those fabulous vibrant colours! Wishing for your spoons to stay in your hand for longer in the Spring, meanwhile "Au revoir!" Hugs, Chrisx

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  12. You can only do what you can do. I totally understand the spoons, as we use them too:) Karma looks fairly happy watching out the patio door. You will recover but some things just take more time:)

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  13. I feel bad that you won't be joining us for T each week, because I always enjoy your wonderful posts. But I totally understand that you have to take care of number 1. I'll still be by as often as you post, though. I'm a loyal fan. Thanks for sharing this final (for now) T post with us this Tuesday.

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  14. That picture of Karma is so adorable <3

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  15. To me, Rita, your chatty posts are what I visit you for, although I know others really are interested in your crafts. I like to see you and Karma and know you're doing as well as possible. I'm so glad you upgraded your computer! You will be much safer from hacks and other nasty things. And maybe one of these days you'll be getting another McLap that is more powerful. Blog when you can and I'll always be happy to see you pop up in my Reader. :-)

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  16. Well, as promised I came visiting your blog :-) Thanks for your snail- mail card, it's really lovely!!! So, your birthday is next week, believe it or not, mine is Friday. So, to the both of us: Happy Birthday!!!!

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  17. I'm totally going to miss reading your T Tuesday posts each week but I do understand the need for a break. I've taken a couple short blog breaks myself...both from reading and writing. You need to listen to your body and it sounds like you are.
    Take care my friend.

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  18. So sorry you haven't been feeling well! I'll miss your postings, but I understand you need to save your energy. You've been blogging a long time! I bet you have lots of blogger friends. Hope you have more days that you feel good. Have a very Happy Birthday!

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  19. Hello and hope you get better with time, health is indeed everything and a break is always necessary. Greetings and best wishes.

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  20. Wishing you a happy Easter & a WHOLE bunch of spoons!! Blog whenever you feel up to it--your followers will be patient.

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  21. health is always first and i hope you can recover soon and gain back energy. i´m sending good vibrations... have a happy easter and birthday, rita!

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  22. I totally understand! I've been bowing out of on line events for a while now and just post when I'm in the mood. It's such a struggle for this brain some days to put words into a sentence much less a whole blog post. Hoping you start feeling better more quickly ...take care of yourself. Love you, Sister ♥

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  23. You will be missed Rita but only you know what's best for you.
    Take good care and you know we're here if you decide to return.
    All the best to you and may your days be filled with good and happy times.
    oxo

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  24. Take time for you, and take care of you. I'll be here. I know I don't comment often because I read your blog posts in my email, but I care. And always appreciate you.
    I think you are doing great. We're moving soon and I'm already out of spoons.
    I can't go to more than 2 appointments in a week or my spoons are gone for a week.
    So I understand.
    You know I'm doing better right now (physically and mentally), I hope it rubs off on you.
    Take care my friend, I'm always here.
    Xoxo long strokes for Karma too.

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  25. Health is the most important thing ! Wishing you the best Rita and hugs to lovely Karma!
    Take care !
    Happy easter!

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  26. Take care of yourself and enjoy those marvellous views from your windows!

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  27. Rita. Get better. Sending love and prayers from Arizona. You will be missed. i do hope you will check in from time to time. I do understand. Blogging is very time consuming. I have cute way back during the past year or so. You will be missed. As always, regards to Karma and McFamily. Remember - you have my email address so stay in touch!

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  28. I am sad to hear you are struggling with pain. You are a bright light, a wonderful person, and the world needs to see and hear folks like you -

    Hugs. I hope you feel better each day now that Spring is arriving.

    Happy Birthday!!! I'm actually a day or two early (for a change!)

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  29. I'm so sorry that this pain and chronic fatigue has been ongoing since your move, Rita. There have been quite a few big changes in your life over the past year and a half so it's easy to understand your need to take a step back and organise a new set of priorities. I love your posts and will look forward to reading them whenever you feel up to posting. Don't push yourself though. Your health and wellbeing should be right at the top of your priority list, my friend. In the meantime, we have our snail mail, right? :)

    Now to the rest of your post -

    After seeing the images of the Canada geese, you have me wanting to watch Fly Away Home which is such a beautiful movie.

    Karma will definitely be loving her Cat TV. hehe

    Fabulous news that McLap may be hanging on for a while yet. I didn't even think to ask if you had updated it because I guess we have our Apple products set to alert us for new updates/upgrades. Now it makes sense that Chrome was playing up...developer codes on websites etc. have changed a lot over the past three years alone. Our computers and browsers have to keep up the pace.

    Oooooooh, just look at all the goodies you and Leah did...what fun!

    Your bullet journal will be very handy given your new social calendar. I'm implementing some new things into mine for April.

    Wishing you a lovely Easter weekend!

    Love and hugs xo

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  30. Blog posts by you can make my day, like seeing Karma and the oh so cute Ian but of course I understand you needing a break all of us do at times

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  31. We watch Karma TV too. The geese are flying overhead like crazy, landing on our barns and sheds, even in the trees. We even got to see some swans at a nearby pond. Feel better Rita and take time for yourself. Hope you had a wonderful Easter!!

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  32. A little bird told me that today's your birthday. Happy Birthday, and as far as the blog posts go, real life should always take precedence!

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  33. Happy birthday! I was also sent over by a little birdy. I truly hope you're feeling better now and think that you deserve a break. Take care of yourself!

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  34. Happy Birthday! I totally understand pain on a daily basis. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome...the hyper mobility type. It is genetic and there is not much I can do about it. I can easily dislocate and often get sprains but due to constant use, the pain is in every joint and it sucks. I feel for you and hope you do get some brief break and, if you don't, enjoy a great movie!

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  35. Hello! Hope your birthday is a peaceful one with yummy cake!

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  36. Sorry to hear you've been so sick, and on your birthday even. No fun. I had that problem a few years ago and it sucks. Just like you, I've been having considerable health issues for quite some time now that has kept me from doing what I'd like to do and from sitting here at my computer to blog. I hope you feel better soon. Blog when you can and don't feel obligated when you can't. *hugs*

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  37. Hi Rita! I'm sorry you're feeling crappy. I love the spoon analogy...that's perfect. I wish I could give you more spoons!! Happy birthday--a day late? Was it yesterday? Either way, a very happy birthday to you. Give Karma a scratch from me, and prayers to you.

    Love,
    andi

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  38. Birthday blessings and warm healing thoughts.
    PS Any friend of Janie's is a friend of mine. Smiles.

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  39. Happy Birthday I am a day late, but I still hope you had a wonderful day! :)

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  40. I've been away and sick too (well on the road to recovery now) so only can admire how you have fought so hard to continue with the blogging, feeling pretty bad most of the time. I have really appreciated it and will look forward to any more posts you can do in the future. Meanwhile, I hope your birthday went well and I do hope that things ease up for you very soon. You're kind of inspirational Rita and it is lovely to make touch with you via "blogland." Sounds like the easy life suits Karma though :)

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  41. Love the photos of the weather through the same window. Happy Birthday to you and I was touched to read about your struggle. All the best.

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  42. I totally get your need for time away from what is a very time consuming hobby. I have pulled waaaay back also and I try not to feel guilty about visiting others only once every few blog posts of my own. You need to do what feels right for you. Keep on looking out for yourself.. and heal. Hugs to you, Rita.

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I appreciate your visits and comments.
Have a really great day! :) :)