Thursday-10:15am

Good Morning!!

Been over a month since we last spoke...so grab a cuppa and we'll catch up.  I'll warn you--this is a long one with lots of pictures and some ugly selfies of my cataract adventures--LOL!

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Last we talked I had just said goodbye to Miss Karma.

The empty collar says it all.

There was a lot of blood to clean up from her ear tube draining.  On my bed, her place mat under her dishes, and everywhere on the walls where she walked and shook her head.  It was hard waking up to all her things about...and the blood. 

I needed to get everything all cleaned up before the surgeries started, anyways, so the next day Dagan came over to help me clean up wall and floor blood, to empty and scrub out the litter box, and to sort through her things.  We decided which things went to the dumpster, which were moved to the garage, and which went over to their house for Annie.  I was washing loads of clothes and rugs and cat beds for two days. 

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 Looks so empty now.

That week was very busy.  Tuesday Dagan and I cleaned.  I had a pre-surgical checkup with my regular doctor (Topley) on Weds.  Got a call from eye surgeon's office and they wanted to re-measure my eyes.  (I have had high prescriptions that are different in each eye and those two weird separate issues I told you about.)  Then I was able to collapse for a couple of days and it really sank in that Karma was gone.  

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I was overwhelmed by all your support and kindness.  Even received a couple little pick up your spirits gifts, a sympathy basket filled with chocolate goodies, a surprising donation towards Karma's vet bill, and so many sympathy cards and letters!  I have saved them all...even this one from Two Rivers.  (Note--the bill arrived before the sympathy card--LOL!) 

You may remember McFamily got the same handmade sympathy card when Sammy died. 

But inside the card were these sheets of paper. 

Six inked paw prints from my dead cat!! 

Now maybe some of you think this is a touching thing for them to do--but it was soooo creepy to me!!  Come to find out they did the same thing for Sammy.  McFamily never told me.  They thought it was so gross that they immediately threw them in the recycling bin.

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What do you think?  Sweet?  Or Walking Dead creepy?

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Funny--they asked me if I wanted her ear tube removed after she died (didn't matter), but they never asked me if it was okay if they inked up her dead little feet to take paw prints.  Karma hated anyone to touch her feet (or her butt--LOL!).  I would have said absolutely not.

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Oh well.  I did save them with the card in the back of my Karma file.  All your wonderful cards and letters are in the front.  I even got sympathy cards from Kirsten and Pam from the library!  :)  I have been so touched by all of you!  Thanks so very much.

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  I really miss watching Karma watch the critters.

I have kept looking for Chester, but I haven't seen him this whole past month. 

He probably didn't make it...or was driven out of the area (wishful thinking?).

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The sparrows stick around all year. 

They are easily scared away by the rabbits or... 

...the grouse. 

Well, here come the gross selfies!

I made it through surgery number one on my left eye. 

This was that night when I could finally blink.  Eye was still greased up (so it wouldn't dry out for the hours after the surgery before I could close it).

The bruising and bloody eye got worse before it got better. 

The way my surgeon did the surgery I got an IV port on the back of my hand (excellent girl the first time) while they gave you a series of eye drops before surgery.  Leah could be in that little pre-surgical room with me and she stayed in there until they brought me back.

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When I was in the little room I did tell one of the girls that I had degenerative spine in my lower back...but apparently they don't necessarily communicate between the pre-surgical rooms and the actual surgical team.   

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They asked if I wanted a last bathroom trip (yes) and then walked me back to the hallway outside of the surgery (I needed guidance because I couldn't see without my glasses) where I got up on a table to wait my turn.  They gave me a pillow for my head while I was on deck (which they took away in surgery and tilted you so that the blood rushes to your head like they do at the dentist) and a warm thin blanket. 

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When it was my turn they wheeled me in, wrapped me up in more warm blankets, and pinned them shut to keep my arms from dangling off the narrow table.  Was like a warm cocoon--which felt good as it was chilly in there and I was so nervous my blood was barely circulating--LOL!  Then through the IV the anesthesiologist put me out for 90 seconds (that's what Dr. Dye, my regular eye doctor, told me later--a minute and a half was how long Dr. Gross had patients under) while they gave me two shots by the corner of my eye--well, the inside of the nose next to the corner of your eye--that area.  Those shots numb you up so that you can't feel a thing on that entire side of your face--from your forehead to your teeth and nose to ear.  I needn't have worried about blinking during surgery.  I couldn't blink or shut my paralyzed eye at all until about 7pm that night--LOL!  

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They have stuff over your eyes (drapery over the other eye, contraptions to maybe magnify your eye for him to see?--stuff).  Main thing--you don't have to see things coming at you or the people or anything.  Just a weird blurry light show to watch, listening to the people in the operating room, and focusing on not moving.

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The worst part of all for me with the first surgery was the focusing on not moving.  My back had knife pain so that the last few minutes (felt like an eternity) I was chanting in my head--don't move!--don't cry!

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When they were done and peeling tape off my face, uncovering my eyes, and asking how I was...I told them my back hurt like hell.  THEN they tell me to ask for some help with that next time.  (You can bet I did!)  I could hardly get off the table after they wheeled me back to the little room where Leah was waiting.  

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Your eye is covered with a metal eye patch--which you also wear to bed the first night (I wore two nights the first time).  They ask you what you want to drink and eat for a snack.  I had cranberry juice, coffee, and a blueberry breakfast bar.  Was so thirsty.  You can't eat from the night before, of course, like it always is before surgeries.  Could have some black coffee and water in the morning.  (First time they gave me a cut off time of 9am and the second time 8am--my surgeries were the same exact time of day, but I was a good girl and did the 8am cut off the second time.) 

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After you eat and drink and they check your vitals are okay--off you go.  Someone does walk you to the car.  Good thing in my case.  :)

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I can't even tell you how difficult it was to see.  My depth perception was terrible with one eye.  Sadly, it didn't improve much at all once my "new" eye was uncovered, either--LOL!  Talk about mismatched eyes!

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Anyways, you get a chart for your eye drop schedule.         

I spent days with the blinds drawn because the light hurt.  Terrible eye strain headache for the next two weeks, to be honest.  (Still there but not as bad.)  I could watch TV with the "new" eye without my glasses.  I did a lot of that.  Even tried taping the other eye shut because squinting or covering it with my hand got tiresome quickly...but the tape was hurting my skin in no time.

I took some selfies. 

Not that I could see to do that very well. 

Couldn't tell if it was blurry or not.  

Same with all the pictures I took--especially those couple weeks.

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In the meantime...Leah came for Craft Nights.  I had finally replaced the old Oster hand-me-down bread maker that was burning the sides of the bread.  I couldn't see to set up the new Cuisinart bread maker so Leah offered to set it up and made bread for me!!   

[What a deal I got on this convection bread machine.  Been looking at it on Amazon since before I moved when it was $249.00 and got it for $99.00!!  I still haven't been quite able to see well enough or gotten rid of the constant headache to deal with making bread yet...but soon, I hope.]

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Leah and I have been working on these Christmas cards.  We put one together--well, Leah did--to show you what they will look like.  Front.

Inside. 

The only thing I accomplished one day (out of sheer boredom--watching TV without being able to multi-task gets soooo boring) was to print off some cards and cut & fold them.  Just made more copies.  Had made up the template years ago from this black-eyed susan painting.  Just felt good to do something. 

Maybe you can see how even almost two weeks later my eyes were not exactly working together.   

 My new left eye could suddenly see 20/40 at a distance without my glasses, but I had lost clear vision mid-range and even close up (which I had always had only that for 65 years).  My other eye--well, I had needed glasses for such a long time that I could only see close up without my glasses on and nose right up to whatever I was trying to see, but needed them to see mid-range and for distance.  Without glasses my vision was around 20/1000.  Couldn't see the E on the chart.  So--my eyes were sooooo mismatched that just pouring coffee took concentration to hit the cup.  I was actually kind of eager for the next eye to get done--and wasn't as nervous about the second surgery after the first one.

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Meanwhile we had a February thaw that melted away most of the snow.  Flood warnings every day for a week or so.  The grouse thought it was spring with it being in the 50s.  It was crazy time out there!!  Males flapping and bumping chests...female audience racing around in circles...then general chasing this way and that.  Ever since the thaw (it got colder again, of course) I have only seen two grouse together.  They are camouflaged in the remains of the snow bank across the way.

At least I think that is the right picture--LOL!  My eyes are so tired right now and I still have the headache...but I am going to continue to take lots of breaks and finish this.  :)

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If you ever have a little time...

I watched this TED talk and cried (well, for an old Swede that means I had tears escape down my cheeks and had to blow my nose).  It is so difficult to explain to people how debilitating something can be that no one can see.  That only the people closest to you have any idea the extent of the limitations because...well, why bother people with it if you don't have to.  Everyone needs people you can be totally honest with...but even they certainly don't need to hear about it all the time, you know?  I probably mention it way more than I should.  I apologize.  But it is just my life, you know?  No one can change it.  So I try to dwell on the positive things...and keep laughing.  But when things come up like the cataract surgeries...well, for someone else I can see how they could breeze right through it...

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  Anyways, if you ever have the time...

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Meanwhile--back at the ranch.

Surgery number two.

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Was much easier because I knew what to expect (and how much Imodium to take to get there--LOL!) and I asked for two pillows under my knees so my back wasn't as horrible.  (More like after the dentist.)

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I took this selfie in the car on the way home.

Yes, I still had the remnants of the bruising under my eye from the first surgery 15 days before.  The mark above the metal patch is a sharpie marker to let them know which eye to work on--LOL!

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We had stopped off at Costco where Leah ran in to grab me some easy to fix comfort foods.  :) 

This time, instead of using my old wire rim glasses over the patch to see I am now using some reading glasses from Costco. 

Both time they sent you home with a small ivy plant!  The daisy stems are inside of a vial and stuck into the pot. 

Since that surgery on the 23rd I have had eye drop charts for both eyes. 

My eyes are still not used to working together.  

During the two weeks between surgeries I finally figured out how to be able to both watch TV and write letters.  I could see close up with the old eye with my nose a couple inches from the paper and use the new eye to glance up and see the TV.  I could do this for short periods of time.  (Eye strain headaches.)

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Totally reinforced to me how I love to do something else while I am watching TV.  Beyond just loving to do it--I needed to do it.  So very boring to sit and only watch the screen.  The only time I ever did that for sure was watching a movie with subtitles...or when something I was watching was so absorbing that I would stop doing whatever I was doing and get lost in it.  But that was optional.  I am used to doing something else while I watch--writing letters, working on cards, organizing, catching up online, planning, shopping online...

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With these new eyes I can see farther away...like to watch TV.  But I can't see clearly until about a foot away.  With the reading glasses I can see clearly from about 8-12 inches, but can't see far away at all or close up.  Well, I can't see close up anymore at all--period--with or without the reading glasses--which my brain thinks is just wrong since that is the only way I could see clearly all my life.  Pushing the glasses down my nose to look over them (to try to watch TV and write) makes my eyes go crazy.  They aren't working that well together yet in the first place to go moving lenses around--LOL!  

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Well, you knew I would have to come up with something, right?  

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If I have Mr. Rusty on the table and pull it up close (can't use McLap on the laptop table by my chair right now because it is just too far away to see clearly with or without the reading glasses on)...and have the writing tablet or journal butted up next to Rusty and keep both the screen and the paper within that 8-12 inch range I can see them at the same time with the reading glasses on!  TaDa!

Of course, using these reading glasses for any length of time adds to the eye strain headache, but at least I can manage.  That's how I am typing this--with Mr. Rusty up close and personal and my reading glasses on--and taking lots of breaks.  :)

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Here I am! 

As you can probably see, my eyes are still not working together that well yet. 

I can see why they want you to wait a month or more before you get new glasses.

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Leah and Ian were over for a visit a couple weeks ago.  (Nothing cheers up Gramma like time with Mr. Ian!)  And last Sunday McFamily came for a visit. 

Ian and Gramma watched an old episode of Sesame Street. 

They have episodes on YouTube.  I had watched Season One (1969) episode one the day before.  So, Ian and I watched Season One episode two on Sunday.  We loved it!  I was as engrossed as Ian, but for different reasons.  Watching Ian watch--LOL! 

I remember watching with Dagan when he was little.  More like in 1975, but this is definitely something for Ian and I to watch together besides Nature Shows and Bob Ross.  In fact, Ian's probably going to find Bob Ross boring now after Sesame Street.  ;)  LOL!

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I was so engrossed while Dagan and Leah were trying to fix the tablet (Dagan's old one) that I hadn't even noticed that Leah had disappeared until Dagan came to sit on the floor by Ian to watch Sesame Street.  I asked where Leah went.  Dagan said she had to run to Costco for something.  Turned out she went to pick up a new tablet for me!!  I've never had a new tablet.  (That's what I normally use to cast to the TV with Chromecast.)  Anyways, always so nice to see the whole family at one time.  :)

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I will wrap up with a bunch of random pictures.

The studio has become a dumping ground again. 

This tray holds all the current Christmas card stuff we are working on.  Won't take too long now to finish up now that I can put the scrappy tape on the parts again.  ;) 

This mess is some of the things that I ordered and part of this big order Leah made to SSS (Simon Says Stamp).   

I ordered one of these handled holders.  They stack and clip together and we will definitely get another one (or two).  Stuck some stuff in it from... 

...the turntable, but never finished the process of reorganizing. 

 We used the turntable all those years at the other apartment on the table by the window, if you recall.  Now we will use these handled...what would you call them?  Well, they are holders of stuff--LOL!  We can stack up some and put them where the turntable is now...and then use the turntable if we want to at the table when we are in the middle of a big project.  The turntable will be an option for us in the future.

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This stack is Leah's SSS haul!!  She got some wonderful goodies!!  Dies, stamps, ink pads, embossing powders, acrylic block, stamp cleaners...I can't even remember it all!  There will be birthday and Christmas cards coming from this haul for sure!  :) :) 

My hand--well, the second girl who did my IV was horrible.  She poked right through my vein, I think, the first time.  Stung like a bee or wasp bite!  She muttered something about my having tough skin...????  I've never been accused of having tough skin with all the IVs, blood draws, and shots I've had in my lifetime.  Was a case of trying to cover one's butt, I believe.  

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I should have gotten a picture the day after.  It swelled up so much that it was close to 1/2 inch high (where it is green right now) and it was purple with blood.  Reminded me of Karma's ear!  This was taken today--a week later.  Worst IV lady I have ever had.  All I had from the first lady was a tiny red dot.  That is more my usual, you know?  Such is life.  The second surgery was still a lot easier on me in general. 

Other goodies--got a set of the new Sharpie art markers and a set of the Artline Stix brush markers.  (The daisies are still good from the surgery gift ivy--added water into the vial with a syringe I use for filling ink pens--LOL!) 

I got the Sharpie art markers because they are not supposed to bleed through paper...and they haven't.  I loved my weather stamps for the new 5-year diary but all the ink pads bled through the paper.  So I am now drawing weather icons myself...and actually enjoying it.

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The brush markers are for me to attempt to learn how to do brush calligraphy.  Wish me luck!  I've played with them a little bit and definitely need some practice.

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 Here's the two ivy plants--sitting in blue bowls cozying up to Baby Phil. 

I've never been very successful with ferns or ivys--but remember how Fern grew and survived so well at the other place that I had to find a new home for her on Freecycle (because Karma ate her long fronds and Fern was on top of a tall bookcase)?  Maybe I will be as lucky with these?  We'll pot them together this spring.  I'll have Baby Phil and Ivy.  ;)

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Here's my morning routine (of which I skipped so I could do the blog today).  Left to right--5-year diary, writing journal, and bullet.  In the center--you may remember I had the cheap clear plastic cover that I threw some artwork inside of...well, the faux-leather covers came back in stock back in January and I bought one. 

Shocked at how much I love it for $16.00!  Feels so soft and lies flat.  Stitching is beautiful and even.  I was impressed!   

Oh, and here's the new tablet!  TaDa! 

I am having problems casting--but that is because I have been having internet issues for months.  With everything going on with Karma and the surgeries...I have been putting it off.  But it's gotten worse the past couple of weeks.  Choppy, starts and stops, getting bumped offline...sigh.  I will probably have to call them next week.  (You may recall that Midco has been here twice long ago and never did fix the connection issues.)  Wish me better luck this time.

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Oh, and I don't think I told you that they did come and fix the frig!  That same young man arrived.  He told me that since there have been other people with loud frig noise complaints in the apartment complex but their refrigerators were still working (so there was little he could do but jiggle about the fan housing) he kind of just added on a new fan and housing for me, too!!  Kind of on the down-low.  What a little sweetie pie!  So I ended up with a new motor and fan--like a new frig, really.  And it is quiet in here again!!  

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Sometimes it pays to be chatty and friendly.  ;)  He was here in-between surgeries.  Apologized for it taking so long to get one of the parts.  I was just glad they could fix it.  Had to throw out a lot of food from both frig and freezer.  

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He looked over at me when he was near done and said kindly--You look exhausted!  

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I am.  I really am, I replied.

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I still am.

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But yesterday I finally made it out to the garage to bring in the small square table and the bird feeder (took the wire off the feeder) and got them set up out on the patio.

It's only 17 degrees, so the critters are glad to find some easy pickings when even the grass is frozen.  ;)  I still put out seed on the ground for the grouse and rabbits, of course.  I hope the rabbits don't decide to chew on the feeder.  I will keep an eye on that.  

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Note:  Wordpress has apparently blocked me from making any comments at all anymore.  I still can't comment on YouTube half the time, not that I do very often as I am mostly a lurker on YouTube--LOL!  I'm not getting some people's blog notifications in my email again (Fishducky for sure).  Been mostly an occasional lurker in general online since Karma died...until recently after the second surgery.  Been able to make comments here and there.  My online time will still be limited until I get my new glasses, I'd imagine (and my back quits being so dang cranky).  Maybe my eyes will adjust better to these reading glasses, too.  Whatever.  Eventually things will improve.  :)

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McFamily is down in Minneapolis today.  Dagan is having is heart and pacemaker checkups.  He was scheduled to go in January but got blizzarded out of that appointment--LOL!  They're going to stop at Ikea on their way home and they're picking me up a long shoehorn and a floor mat.  (No--North Sky has never fixed the flooring in the kitchen.)  We don't have an Ikea up here so going to Minneapolis is always the chance for them to hit that huge store.  Ikea has some really great deals for good prices--still love my two rusty-colored rolly carts!  They have picked up some awesome goodies for Ian, too.

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   Anyways, I think that is it.  I haven't even eaten and it is after 3:30pm.  Took me most of the day to write this.  Well, it might take you that long to read it--LOL!  I hope to be back again at least once a week now that I can see pretty well, but I am making no promises.  Monday I go for the follow-up at the regular eye doctor's, Dr. Dye.  I am going to nuke me some goulash or soup and then go sit in my comfy chair with the heating pad on my back, a cold cloth on my forehead for the headache, and only be able to watch TV--LOL!  Could be worse, right?  I am alive and well.  Missing Karma.  Can see TV without glasses on!  (Still boggles my mind!)  Can at least work on letters again sometimes.  Online will get better over time.  My milk is cold and my ice cream is frozen!  

Life is good.  :):)

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"Patience is not just the ability to wait, it's how we behave while we're waiting."

Joyce Meyer