Thursday, February 21, 2013

Thursday-3am: Ruby

The only way I can even talk right now is to just tell you chronologically.
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Miss Karma has been gradually getting better again.  Still not herself, but better.
I never made it to go look at recliners with Dagan on Friday because I wasn't physically up to it that day, but I made it on Saturday with both Dagan and Leah.  They bought me a little recliner and are letting me pay them back after I finish paying off the vet clinic bill.  (Their idea--and my back is doing the happy dance!)
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I donated the love seat to New Life--a place in town that helps people who are starting over to get back on their feet--like the homeless and battered women, etc.  Two gentlemen came and picked up the love seat on Monday afternoon.
 Looked pretty bare in here. 
I brought in the padded chair and ottoman from the porch... 
...and pulled over a chair from the craft table for Karma.  But she wanted her favorite blue bed to be up on the chair...
...so I arranged my folding stool next to the chair so she could climb up and get in from the side.  
She's still sleeping a lot. 
That meant I had a couple of days without a really comfortable chair that I can sit in for any length of time.  Been restless, taking pain pills, and waiting for Wednesday night when Dagan and Leah's friend Big John was helping Dagan pick up the new recliner. 
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About a half an hour before Dagan and John arrived...I got a phone call that my dearest friend Ruby had died suddenly during the night...from her husband Gust.
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I was stunned.
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Still am.
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I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that she's actually gone.
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It's her birthday today.
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I am SOOOO very, very glad she came to visit and we got to actually see each other again after so many years.  I got to look her in the eye, gaze upon that sweet face, hug her many times, spend days just hanging out gabbing our fool heads off and roaring over episodes of Big Bang Theory.
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I sat here as the darkness and my tears fell...until I heard Dagan and John coming up the hallway...flicked on some lights...and let them in.
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I told Dagan (who has known Ruby since he was about 12) as they unboxed the chair and pieced the two parts together.  John even carried the box to the dumpster for me on his way out.  Such a nice guy!
Leah arrived a little while later and had picked up dinner at Subway.  Naturally we talked over dinner.  Leah lost her dad suddenly when she was in high school and, as you know, she just lost her mom a couple years ago to cancer.  Life is too short and unpredictable to not appreciate every single day you have.  
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Leah went to take apart the laptop table and discovered that it had, quite literally, just plain fallen apart.  Over the years almost every single screw had worked loose...until it had finally fallen to pieces in my lap.     
Leah tightened every single screw from top to bottom...put it back together...and I am comfortably sitting right now in my new baby recliner with my laptop on the rolling table.  This recliner is noticeably smaller than my old one.  I told Ruby that I knew I must look like a muffin top in a muffin tin in this tiny chair--and we had laughed and laughed about my soon-to-arrive baby recliner.  She understood because she was shorter than I am--only 5' 10".  (I just wrote "is" and had to change it.) 
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I had to stop for a while.
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 Ruby and I were soul sisters...champions and cheerleaders for each other...always had each other's backs.  Ruby never made me feel small...never judged...always supported.  She always saw me as better than I was, you know?  Loved me unconditionally, as I did her.  She adored Dagan...and then Leah, too.  We totally "got" each other right off the bat.  Recognized each other's souls.  Ruby could be spouting--"People are just no damn good, I tell you!"--and I could laugh--and get her laughing...because she knew I knew what a huge, generous heart she was protecting behind that sometimes spiky shell.  I knew how she took several forgotten people under her wing and cared for them faithfully until they died...and how it broke her heart to lose them.  Her house always had cats and dogs...usually ones nobody wanted, of course.  She was a regular donor to the humane society.  (Ruby was the one who sent me some money toward the vet bill for Karma.)  Dagan and I met her when we answered an ad for a free kitten...
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  Ruby loved fiercely...with great kindness and patience.  
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I loved that woman so much.
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There is a hole in my heart. 
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"Life is like an onion; you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."
Carl Sandburg


30 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear about Ruby. She sounded like an incredibly good friend. I hope the good memories that you shared together help sustain you through this most difficult time, Rita.

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  2. Oh Rita...Bless you and bless the wonderful friendship you had with Ruby. It's been like this at my house too...

    I am sending some love your way, dear girl, and reminding you that all the beautiful memories you have with Ruby will last as long as you do, and even longer now, because Dagan and Leahy carry them too.

    XOXOXOOX

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  3. I'm so sorry in the loss of Ruby- what rich memories the two of you grew together.

    I am glad that Miss Karma is slowly feeling better, and I love that her bed is also on top of a chair, so she can keep an eye on things, you know?

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  4. Sudden loss is sometimes the hardest to take, because we aren't prepared, haven't gotten ourselves ready for the blow. I'm so sorry to hear about Ruby, but I'm also glad that Karma is getting better. That's good news. :-)

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  5. Sorry you lost such a good friend. It takes awhile to get over the grief so take extra care of yourself.

    Happy Karma is on the mend.

    Darla

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  6. I am so sorry Rita on the loss of Ruby; she does sound like a wonderful friend :(

    I am glad though that Karma seems to be feeling a bit better.

    take care of yourself

    betty

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  7. I am so sorry about Ruby :( I think I remember you mentioning you had a special visitor a while back and I think it was her. Sending you lots of gentle hugs and love.

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  8. I'm so sorry. I have tears for you because I share your grief. Loss is so difficult, and I think maybe we've had a little more than our share.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss. Ruby sounds like a wonderful person. So much turmoil in your life right now. One day at a time...

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  10. i am so very sorry for your loss. she sounds like a treasure. i hope she went peacefully...

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  11. I didn't even realize Karma had been sick, so had to go back several weeks and read about her and your ills. I'm sure you feel better now that she's home and I know she does, too. Sorry I don't send e-mails. Keeping up with blog posts is about all I can accomplish since I have a very very slow internet connection.

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  12. So sad for you to lose such a good friend, it is quite a blow and I am really sorry.
    Keep your chin up
    Xxx
    Sue

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  13. I am sorry you are going through so much turmoil and pain right now with your friend, Ruby and your kitty. You have wonderful memories to keep Ruby alive in your heart. Karma is sleeping a lot because she is trying to heal.
    Nice to get a new recliner and to have family who help you as much as yours does. Your place always looks so neat and organized, you do well keeping it that way. I just lost a friend that I hadn't seen in a few years to cancer. It made me so sad that I had let so much time lapse between calls but I try to remember the fun times we did have.

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  14. Hello my dear,
    As you know I haven't been on line much over the last few months either. Just too sick.
    I didn't know Karma has been feeling unwell. I do hope it will get better soon....for both of you. When something happens to a pet, it's excruciating. They can't talk and tell us what is wrong, and they can't understand what is going on....not entirely any way. I'm thinking of you and her.

    I was so shocked to hear about Ruby. I'm so very sorry. What a loss for you and the world. I feel I know so much about her from reading your blog, I too just can't believe she is gone. I know there is nothing I can say to make it any better, but know I would if I could.
    hugs to you and Karma,
    wendy

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  15. Rita, I am so sorry to hear about Ruby, you and her family will be in my prayers.

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  16. Rita, my condolences on the loss of your friend Ruby. May the happy memories you have of the two of you together help heal you and comfort you in your time of grief.

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. You're in my prayers.

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  18. I am so sorry..the loss of a good friend and like thinking person is never easy. You will miss her the rest of your life..someday you will miss her less..and in a good way..and be thankful for the time you had together...just not right now.
    Good news that Karma is feeling a bit better...do you have her on different food yet?
    I suppose this stress is not good for you at all..take good care of you:)

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  19. So sorry to hear about your friend. I do like your new recliner. Looks good. Was nice of you to donate your old love seat to those in need. You are a kind and caring person and will be in my prayers.

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  20. Dear Rita, a posting that brings it both happiness and sorrow. I'm so glad that Karma is doing better and that you now have a place to sit comfortably with your re-screwed-tightly stand for your laptop.

    But the death of your friend Ruby is devastating. And the only words I can offer are those I offered myself when my soulmate Annette died: "Dee/Rita, be glad and grateful that Annette/Ruby chose you as a friend. She was a blessing in your life. Rejoice that she remains always in your memory. Peace."

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  21. So very sorry to hear about Ruby!

    Glad to see Karma is doing better.

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  22. Sorry about your friend Ruby, Rita. It is hard to lose a close friend. Enjoy your new recliner. They are great huh? - Dave

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  23. Thinking of you Rita, take care of yourself and your fluffy girl.

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  24. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend, Ruby. I must admit, I sit here with tears in my eyes and I never even knew her except thru your words of your posts. She sounded like a wonderful friend. My deepest condolences to you and her friends and family.

    I'm very glad Karma is feeling better. I hope and pray you will find strength and feel better soon, too. *hugs*

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  25. Just thinking about you and checking in:)

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  26. Oh Rita, it seems so long since I visited you...I lost you for a while and now I hear what a sad time you've had. I'm so sorry and hope that you can treasure the memories that you and Ruby shared. I can just imagine the two of you having such fun times together...'Rita and Ruby'! It just conjours up the idea of fun adventures with lots of giggles.

    I've also got to read back to find out what happened to poor Karma! ^..^ At least I can see that she's home and having lots of tender loving care.
    Rita, don't forget the more we grieve means the more we loved!
    Take care
    xoxo

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  27. Rita, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Ruby. She was a true blessing and her deep love and compassion for all, including animals, was apparent in your words. You two truly shared an amazing bond that many can only dream of. I'm sure it will take you a long time to recover from this sad loss but know that we are all here for you.

    Much love, hugs and healing vibes ~ xoxox

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  28. So sorry about Ruby and hope that a week later you are feeling a little steadier... such a shock and my heart is with you, and with karma as she is still not well... you are having such an awful time of it and I am sending you as many happy thoughts and positive vibes as I can send across the ether... love to you both
    xx

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  29. I haven't been 'round to blogs with all this sickness here, so only now hearing your sad news. I'm so, so sorry you have lost such a wonderful friend. Hugs and prayers. Remember the joys you shared and the friendship that eternally remains.

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  30. Hugs you tight. I was not there for you during this loss... and am very sorry to learn of it - I felt the radiance of Ruby vicariously through you - and your words. She maybe gone - but a part of her transferred itself into you... and remains.

    I am glad Leah and Dagan were there during that saddest of days - and did some small good deeds that lightened your load and sorrows.

    You were no doubt a huge support to her (as you are to me) through the time she was beset with the illness that took her. Those moments of riotous joy and laughter no doubt made her load and troubles all the lighter and all the more bearable.

    Send you a hug TWO armed hug via the strength of focus concentrated thought... and hopes Karma gets better -- she (her soul) is much needed in cold, snowy Fargo...

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Just a note: I don't pass on awards or do tags, and I no longer comment on blogs that have word verification (see top right hand corner of my blog). So if you haven't heard from me that's probably why. Sorry.

I read and appreciate each and every comment, but it became too overwhelming to personally respond to each one like I used to here in the blog comment section. I will answer questions and communicate via email, though, if you have an email address listed on blogger and I do try to respond to every comment.

Have a really great day! Karma says hi! :) :)