Monday, April 08, 2019

4-8-2019 Monday-1:30pm

We've had melting temps during the days.  By Friday I could see first floor again across the way... 
...and a car in the parking lot. 
At one point I couldn't see all of third floor the snow was piled so high...what? two weeks ago?  We have had a sudden shift into spring.  Have even had light, drizzly rain a couple of days.
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This entire week has been a sleep recovery one for me.  I still can't sleep in my bed but I am sleeping better and longer in my chair, anyways.  I managed to do laundry and make goulash and some soup.
I even had a Gramma Day on Saturday!  Ian and I watched a couple episodes of the new David Attenborough series called "Our Planet" on Netflix streaming.  Was so nice to be back to watching our nature shows.  Ian and I will be learning about how the earth is changing and how it is effecting the wildlife and plants.  He ate goulash with me and we took apart the big jigsaw puzzle together.  We always have such a good time.  :)
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 Yesterday I saw it had gotten up to 61 degrees!  Goodness!  This is what it looks like right now.
The walls of snow are shrinking away.
Brown grass is uncovered.
 (And a lot of rabbit poop--LOL!). 
It's a fluffy cloud day. 
I've spent most of the week having pajama days, so I don't have much laundry to do today.  The dryer is rolling along.  The patio door is wide open (58 degrees) and the bedroom window.  Grackles are arguing on the patio.  Annie is sleeping in the chair next to me by the table.  I am hopeful for this coming week.
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Last week I never got back to the book, but maybe this week.  I did catch up on letters for the first time this entire year--tada!  So today I can start on my birthday thank you cards.  :)  Leah is planning to try to make it over for a Craft Nite tonight--whoohoo!  I really hope she can make it.  
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I'm tentatively planning to try to make it over to McFamily's for my birthday ice cream cake and a nice long visit on Thursday.  We'll see how this week goes.  :)
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After reading Djan's post today (here) about the Five Buddhist Remembrances...well, I keep thinking about how grateful I am for my life.  How lucky I was to have almost drown when I was 10; to have watched the roof being ripped off the junior high gymnasium during a tornado when I was 14; and to have been snatched off the street walking home, beaten, raped, and told they were going to kill me when I was 17.  Lucky because I learned early that life can change or end in an instant.  I experienced on an intensely personal level how precious life is and how grateful I am to be here.
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True.  I didn't realize what blessed gifts those events truly were for years, especially the rape.  But they forced me to make important life choices early on.  
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We choose every day.  
We choose who we are and how we will live.  We have this day, this moment...and isn't it delicious?  We can choose to carry fear and hate with us or to carry love and joy.  We choose.  And when it is so difficult to free ourselves of the hate and fear--we can choose to work at releasing it...to lean a different direction...right now, this moment.  If we keep at it...if we keep wanting to choose love and joy and kindness and patience...if we practice...we move toward it...then it becomes a part of us.  Fake it till you make it--LOL!  What you truly desire becomes a part of the very core of you.  And it's never too late.  Ever.  To choose.
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Having those experiences even helped me later to know that a child was not "mine"...was not a possession...but a miraculous gift...to do the best I could with as caretaker for however long.  
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I think I was a better mother of a baby I was told wouldn't live.  Because I had already moved into a present moment state of being long ago and could appreciate every day on its own...every moment.  But also to teach him to be aware of his choices in his life...of who he was...right now...no matter the future...no matter his age.
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Yes, we all grow old, have illnesses, die, and change is inevitable.  I love the fifth remembrance:

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.  

We choose. 
Our words.
Our actions.
Our beliefs.
Who we want to be. 
How we treat others.
How we treat ourselves. 
(still can be my own worst enemy) 
What we say and think.
(still working on loving thoughts toward certain, shall we say, "public" people)
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We are all a work in progress.
I feel blessed and lucky to have had this life of mine.
Grateful beyond belief.
I keep working on trying to choose well...every moment.
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Till next week, my friends.  :) :)
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"In the evening of life,
we will be judged on love alone."
St. John of the Cross

14 comments:

  1. Comment to get comments.
    I am grateful for each and every one of you...whether lurkers or commenters. :)

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  2. We've got rain today and predicted highs in the 80s later in the week. A year ago we had a high in the 40s and predictions of snow lol

    I'm glad you're sleeping better. The soup looks delicious :) We always enjoyed the nature shows when my kids were little. There was always something showing on our public channel, and we scheduled around them.

    I admire your positive attitude. Life can change in an instant. Gratitude is a blessing. Thank you for this inspiration :)

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  3. Thank you for expanding on my post, Rita. It must have helped you be in the moment when you thought your child would not live. And then to have him not only make it, but to give you such beautiful grandchildren! I am envious. Not about the horrors you faced, but the sweet grands who enrich your days. Hugs to you, dear friend. :-)

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  4. I appreciate all the beautiful, positive, comforting thoughts that you've shared in this post. In recent years I have become bitter and pessimistic - for more reasons than I care to reveal. It's reassuring to realize that divine light can penetrate the darkness.

    Glad to know your snow is finally melting. It's been in the 60's here with plenty of rain. Hopefully the nightly frosts are finally over.

    Your food always looks so good and healthy!

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  5. I hope you feel good all week! I need a couple of jammie days! I heard tonight on the news that the Red is cresting today. Good to see your snow is mostly gone:)

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  6. I also follow both of DJan's blogs and I love that she has taught me about Five Buddhist Remembrances. Like you, the fifth one rings true and strong with me and I try hard to live by it. (Thanks DJan!)

    It's great to see the snow melting there. Don't worry about that rabbit poop - you will have the greenest grass in the complex! I'm so glad to hear you had a Gramma Day! We are finally getting some spring weather here and today we even went to the zoo! Have a great week Rita!

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  7. Yesterday here it was 32°c today it is 20°c gone from shorts and sleeveless tops to 3/4 pants and a top with 3/4 sleeveless.

    I enjoy writing letters to pen pals.

    I am not one for pajama days I like to get dress first thing of a morning

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  8. Thank you Rita for a very moving post today. We choose every day. Teaching that we choose our paths and that making the best choices possible is not simple. By example, by climbing back to making better choices. Hugs.
    Joy

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  9. I'm sorry I haven't been by in a while. I did read your last post in my email, but didn't make it here. ☹ I hate you have been hurting, but glad you are doing better. Thank you for this post, I really needed it today. I'm losing a friend of mine and you reminded me to be grateful for these moments we have now, and all the moments we've had. When do you have Spring? I miss seeing your flowers. Gentle hugs Wendy from picnic with ants

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  10. Although I'm late visiting, I am so grateful that you are in my life, even if it is a virtual one!!! I'm so delighted to read you are feeling a bit better. That lifts my spirits, too. Hope this week is even better, even if you choose to live in PJs all week long.

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  11. Thank you so much for your post, it came at a time when I really needed it for me and my family.

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  12. What a wonderful post, and inspirational too, Rita. You are reaching out to many people by posting it here. I'm so glad you had such a good Gramma day and hope your icecream day happens just as you want!

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  13. Wow you have had a lot of snow but at last there is a glimmer of spring. It must be difficult being housebound but you manage to stay positive. Well done.

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  14. You're so right that we CHOOSE every day! Such words of wisdom. Hope you will be feeling a lot better and soon.

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