Thursday, June 20, 2013

Thursday-10am

Good morning!
We had a few days with these gorgeous clouds rolling through the 80 degree skies. 
Too hot for me, but Karma's a heat-soaker.  That's an old jacket string tie I found in my sewing box that I gave to Karma.  It's too thick for her to chew and eat, but it still reminds her of a string so she loves it.
Believe it or not... 
...these pictures were taken on different gorgeous days. 
I'd pull back the chair cover for Miss Karma... 
...but I've been inside... 
...with my struggling wall air conditioner. 
When I first moved here (8 years ago) I couldn't even run it on high for very long and I have the shivers.  Now I can run it on high all day long and it will still be 72-75 degrees in here.  Does take out the humidity, though.  Last year the maintenance man took the AC out and cleaned it for me--and this is the best it does.  The test has been when it started to hit the low 90s on Sunday--and it has managed to maintain 75 degrees, so I can't complain.  Expected to hit upper 80s to 90 again today--and possible thunderstorms...well, for the next three days.
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Oh and I forgot to show you my Amazon goodies from June.  Remember my double walled glass cup fiasco?  Well, I found a different one.
This one is glass all over--even the cover!  So you have to be careful with it and don't drink too fast or you could burn your lips, but I have really liked it so far.  Doesn't stay hot as long as the metal thermal cup, so I just have to drink faster--lol!  ;)
No metallic taste and cleans up beautifully.  You can see the water spots when I drip-dried.
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And with great optimism, I purchased this book...
...hoping to attempt to learn to draw faces, which is a huge challenge for me.  I figured I want to learn to draw faces before I can really learn to paint them.  I'm only hoping to lean more towards realistic and less towards cartoonish. 
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Which brings me to...well, what I am able to do or not do recently.  I have finally had to face the fact that I am not as functional with this darn sciatica.  That I have some days where just doing the normal everyday things has become a real challenge.  This has created frustration and an ongoing internal battle between me and my body...which, I learned the hard way with my fibro, changes absolutely nothing about the facts and just makes me even more miserable. 
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So...for now...I am trying to accept that this is happening and am in the process of an internal shift.  Struggling to shut off the mental lists of what I want to do or make.  Telling myself that I am on summer vacation--like the times I actually got to go to a cabin on a lake in Minnesota when, other than meals and making it down to the gross community shower building, I had no responsibilities or plans.  (These are the things I have to do to trick my chattering monkey brain into leaving me be--ROFL!)  That it's okay--and enough--to read and watch movies and play with Karma.  When it's okay to sit (yes, even sitting is painful many days) I can keep up online, blog, and write letters.  That it's okay if I don't create anything at all for a while.  That's become very much an extra, above-and-beyond activity for me right now.  Just for now.
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I have to stop fighting the sciatica...being angry with my body.  Doesn't change anything.  Probably makes matters worse, actually.  
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Acceptance.  
Not always easy.
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So, yesterday I was wondering if there was some way for me to get library books.  Snooped around online and found out they have an Outreach program here in Fargo!  I talked to the lady on the phone and she is coming over tomorrow afternoon!  With a few books!  Whoohoo!!  :)
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I really needed something fun to look forward to.  (Do you know how frustrating it is to have new toys you can't play with--LOL!)  So, I am excited to meet Pam who runs the program.  They're short of volunteers right now, but later I will probably have my own regular person.  Sweet!  :)
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I see all these great book reviews on blogs--but haven't the money to buy the books and can't get to the library.  Now I can make a list and email any books I'm interested in to Pam.  I won't be limited to only the free kindle books at Amazon.  (Not that they aren't wonderful!) 
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So, anyways--that's why I've been blogging a little less often lately and have had less art or crafts to show you.  Looks like it is probably going to remain like this for a while.  I'll be popping in just to chat, regardless, of course.  Right now, Karma is curled up inbetween my legs on my sweet new recliner under my rolling laptop desk.  It's clouded over, but they're not dark storm clouds...yet.  A quiet morning in Fargo.  :) 
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Since I have been trying to shift inner gears and find acceptance of further limitations and pain...life has gotten a lot better.  Not that you could tell one bit by the surface--ROFL!  But I am finding myself filled with gratitude again.  Ahhh!  I really don't do as well when I lose my inner peace and calm.  (The sciatica had gotten on my last nerve there for a while.)
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Oh, and I want to note how very grateful I am for my snail-mailers!!  I know you're patient with me...and I do so love the quiet contemplation of pen-in-hand conversations.  I may be low on cards, but I have lots and lots of paper and envelopes.  ;)  
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So tomorrow I shall be reconnected with the library after eight years! 
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Life is good!!  :):)
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"There must be always remaining in every life, some place for the singing of angels, some place for that which in itself is breathless and beautiful."
Howard Thurman

24 comments:

  1. I have spent the past few weeks being really angry with my body too. I hate that I have missed so much work. I've finally applied for SSDI, but I am so afraid they aren't going to accept me for some reason. But I'll have to take it however it goes. I am still working, so thats against me... but I don't want to quit working until I know SSDI accepts me. And SSDI might not accept me because I AM working. What a bind to be in.

    I am glad you found a mobile library!! That will make life more enjoyable for you. And Karma makes me smile as always :)

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  2. What a lovely quote--& for you that place will be the library (at your home)!!

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  3. You are so good about finding the good, especially when the good is tough to find. You're so good. Really good. Karma is so cute with her "string", keeping it close to her.

    Love,
    Janie

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  4. Love all your cloud pictures! You really have a birds-eye view. Thanks for sharing. . .so beautiful.

    I'm so glad I found you because your positive approach to life, no matter what comes, is so uplifting. Enjoy your new books!

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  5. Poor girl, Rita, to be smitten with the dreaded sciatica. I know how painful it is. But it goes again, doesn’t it? I used to smear some heat producing ointment on it and sit with my back to a radiator or put a hot water bottle on it.

    Perhaps that’s not a good idea with your temperatures.

    Never mind about producing work, sit and read and be kind to yourself. Karma will help too.

    I wish you a speedy recovery and hope the library lady comes up trumps!

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  6. i am really sorry the sciatica won't let you go. but i know, if anyone can master it mentally - you can.

    i love those beautiful skies!

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  7. I hate hearing how you are slowed up by sciatica. It's hard getting old (says the dude with the 52 year old body that aches like crazy every night). Your attitude seems to be the only "weapon" you have left in your arsenal - and I'm glad it remains a positive one!

    Hugs. I bet you could find lots of books (for free) on-line. Have you ever tried google books?

    (http://books.google.com/)

    Tori has found this deep well - and with the electronic books - they are even read to her by her computer.

    Hugs. I hope you can continue with your artworks soonest - and remember Renoir, painted his last paintings in pain too --

    http://www.openculture.com/2012/07/astonishing_film_of_arthritic_impressionist_painter_pierre-auguste_renoir_1915.html

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  8. You can also access library books via your Kindle too =0) At least you can here so check into it. Though photo books wont be as nice it will let you have access to lots of books for free too! ( Yup HUGE fan of Amazon free books myself lol ).

    I wish I could say I had a good reason for not crafting lately but to be honest lol I just don't. I am so not a summer crafter its terrible. I am not a real "out side" person either but I just ugg don't know not a summer crater lol.

    LOVE the photos of the clouds and of course the photos of Karma. Which reminds me I gotta get on that Bennie Chasing Bugs video for you lol

    You have a super weekend!
    *hugs*
    Felicia =0)

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  9. So sorry about the sciatica- that is such a frustrating condition! Sometimes we just have to fall into the rhythm that is given us and work within its confines. I do hope you get relief soon.

    And Miss Karma with her string? Completely adorable!

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  10. Glad to learn there is a library outreach program and that you will soon have your fill of books! :-)

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  11. That quote is lovely! And those summer skies are gorgeous - hurray for some warmth at last!

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  12. I used to love the bookmobile that came to my neighborhood when I was young. It was way cool.

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  13. Beautiful clouds. Sounds like a "summer break" is in order for you. Sometimes we all need to take one for some reason or another.

    Happy to hear about your library outreach program. I wonder if we have one here. I don't need to use it but I might like to be a volunteer. I love anything to do with books.

    Darla

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  14. The change in the weather could be due to the global warming? Have an enjoyable time in the library! :)

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  15. Such gorgeous clouds..your photos are phenomenal!Karma is so cute!Yay..so wonderful, that art book looks fabulous! Such fun to explore art and draw! Shine on..you creations will be fantastic!
    Hope you feel better soon!
    Victoria

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  16. Miss Karma has the right idea - take a long nap in the heat!

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  17. I used to get angry with my body, too. I got to the point when I was 19 where I couldn't walk down the stairs at my home. I had to sit and scoot down them. One day I just said I'm not going to allow my body to take over like that. I really believe in mind over body. I still hurt and some days can't go up and down stairs well, but I've found my attitude and weight have a lot to do with it.

    I'm glad you will be able to get some books from the library. It will be fun for you to review a few books, too. I look forward to seeing what you're reading.

    And Bleubeard says hi to Karma. He prefers to be inside where it's cool, not in the sun where it's hot, hot, hot.

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  18. The cloud pictures are amazing! Such a vividly blue sky in combination with the bright-white clouds...stunning!

    Hope the sciatica will resolve itself quickly. That is such a painful condition.

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  19. I hope you get a great volunteer! I hope they bring you the books you want to read! Sounds like a great program. That was some stormy Thursday night..thunder and lightening.
    Ask them to clean your air conditioner again..perhaps it should be replaced..ask them for a bigger unit? Worth a shot.
    Hi to Karma:)

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  20. Rita I love the way you are positive and always sound inwardly happy despite aggravations.

    It is the way to be. You only have one life, it should be a nice one. I sure wish I could internalise this so I am always thinking it. I can't think what a grouch I would be with sciatica, but you are right, with anything you can't change, you HAVE to accept it and make it part of your life.
    Thanks for a great post.

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  21. So sorry you are dealing w/ pain. I had sciatica years ago, and needed back surgery finally to relieve it. Chronic pain is difficult to reconcile. I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers that you will have peace and some relief soon.

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  22. Love your sky pics.

    It's not easy living with constant pain. *hugs*

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  23. Does your library let you take out books electronically?

    I love that quote!

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  24. Yes, acceptance is a tough nut to swallow sometimes!!!! Just relax and enjoy your summer vacation! What a wonderful idea and analogy! Big hugs!

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