Thursday-10am

Good morning!

We had a few days with these gorgeous clouds rolling through the 80 degree skies. 

Too hot for me, but Karma's a heat-soaker.  That's an old jacket string tie I found in my sewing box that I gave to Karma.  It's too thick for her to chew and eat, but it still reminds her of a string so she loves it.

Believe it or not... 

...these pictures were taken on different gorgeous days. 

I'd pull back the chair cover for Miss Karma... 

...but I've been inside... 

...with my struggling wall air conditioner. 

When I first moved here (8 years ago) I couldn't even run it on high for very long and I have the shivers.  Now I can run it on high all day long and it will still be 72-75 degrees in here.  Does take out the humidity, though.  Last year the maintenance man took the AC out and cleaned it for me--and this is the best it does.  The test has been when it started to hit the low 90s on Sunday--and it has managed to maintain 75 degrees, so I can't complain.  Expected to hit upper 80s to 90 again today--and possible thunderstorms...well, for the next three days.

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Oh and I forgot to show you my Amazon goodies from June.  Remember my double walled glass cup fiasco?  Well, I found a different one.

This one is glass all over--even the cover!  So you have to be careful with it and don't drink too fast or you could burn your lips, but I have really liked it so far.  Doesn't stay hot as long as the metal thermal cup, so I just have to drink faster--lol!  ;)

No metallic taste and cleans up beautifully.  You can see the water spots when I drip-dried.

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And with great optimism, I purchased this book...

...hoping to attempt to learn to draw faces, which is a huge challenge for me.  I figured I want to learn to draw faces before I can really learn to paint them.  I'm only hoping to lean more towards realistic and less towards cartoonish. 

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Which brings me to...well, what I am able to do or not do recently.  I have finally had to face the fact that I am not as functional with this darn sciatica.  That I have some days where just doing the normal everyday things has become a real challenge.  This has created frustration and an ongoing internal battle between me and my body...which, I learned the hard way with my fibro, changes absolutely nothing about the facts and just makes me even more miserable. 

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So...for now...I am trying to accept that this is happening and am in the process of an internal shift.  Struggling to shut off the mental lists of what I want to do or make.  Telling myself that I am on summer vacation--like the times I actually got to go to a cabin on a lake in Minnesota when, other than meals and making it down to the gross community shower building, I had no responsibilities or plans.  (These are the things I have to do to trick my chattering monkey brain into leaving me be--ROFL!)  That it's okay--and enough--to read and watch movies and play with Karma.  When it's okay to sit (yes, even sitting is painful many days) I can keep up online, blog, and write letters.  That it's okay if I don't create anything at all for a while.  That's become very much an extra, above-and-beyond activity for me right now.  Just for now.

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I have to stop fighting the sciatica...being angry with my body.  Doesn't change anything.  Probably makes matters worse, actually.  

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Acceptance.  

Not always easy.

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So, yesterday I was wondering if there was some way for me to get library books.  Snooped around online and found out they have an Outreach program here in Fargo!  I talked to the lady on the phone and she is coming over tomorrow afternoon!  With a few books!  Whoohoo!!  :)

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I really needed something fun to look forward to.  (Do you know how frustrating it is to have new toys you can't play with--LOL!)  So, I am excited to meet Pam who runs the program.  They're short of volunteers right now, but later I will probably have my own regular person.  Sweet!  :)

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I see all these great book reviews on blogs--but haven't the money to buy the books and can't get to the library.  Now I can make a list and email any books I'm interested in to Pam.  I won't be limited to only the free kindle books at Amazon.  (Not that they aren't wonderful!) 

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So, anyways--that's why I've been blogging a little less often lately and have had less art or crafts to show you.  Looks like it is probably going to remain like this for a while.  I'll be popping in just to chat, regardless, of course.  Right now, Karma is curled up inbetween my legs on my sweet new recliner under my rolling laptop desk.  It's clouded over, but they're not dark storm clouds...yet.  A quiet morning in Fargo.  :) 

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Since I have been trying to shift inner gears and find acceptance of further limitations and pain...life has gotten a lot better.  Not that you could tell one bit by the surface--ROFL!  But I am finding myself filled with gratitude again.  Ahhh!  I really don't do as well when I lose my inner peace and calm.  (The sciatica had gotten on my last nerve there for a while.)

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Oh, and I want to note how very grateful I am for my snail-mailers!!  I know you're patient with me...and I do so love the quiet contemplation of pen-in-hand conversations.  I may be low on cards, but I have lots and lots of paper and envelopes.  ;)  

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So tomorrow I shall be reconnected with the library after eight years! 

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Life is good!!  :):)

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"There must be always remaining in every life, some place for the singing of angels, some place for that which in itself is breathless and beautiful."

Howard Thurman