Monday, October 02, 2006

Monday-11:30am

Dagan and Leah came over for Sacred Circle last night. Beautiful day! Windows open and a slight breeze--not enough to blow our papers off the table. We did the Healing Rune Stones last night. We usually don't ask specific questions and just want the cards or runes to tell us what we need to know to stay on our spiritual path. Since we had been discussing recently the idea of having an earth friendly home in the country one day, we decided to ask what each of us would need to know to make that happen. We did a spread we have never used before--five runes. Wow! What an insightful night ! And each reading was right on for each of us! What a wonderful evening!

For myself, the runes said my "next step" is to deal with my grief. Grief is not something that would come readily to my mind, but when I think of loss and sadness--I have several larger issues in my life. Loss of the full physical capacity of my body. Loss of the dream of finding my soul mate--of having that intimate someone special to love and to love me. Back in 1968 there was a tremendous loss of innocence and self-worth when I was dumped by my first love--then kidnapped, beaten, and raped by strange men--and my parents did not know how to help or support me. Those are some big issues right there. The tip of the iceberg, as they say. Things I very deliberately try not to think about. I need to deal with them some more. I thought I had done a lot of self-exploration and honest, deep digging over the years--guess I need to do some more. And I knew the runes were right--because there is still pain there. I guess this truly is the winter for me to write about the rape--just for myself, for my own healing.

In order to move forward in light and love you need to deal with your shadows and sorrows. And my method for change--forgiveness--said the runes. Smart stones, eh?

Anyways, my back is slowly feeling better day by day. I need sleep and rest. Today I had to get up early, tho. The construction company that built this apartment complex is coming back to every apartment to fix the living room windows today and I don't know when they will be knocking on my door. I called the office to ask what they were fixing and they told me that several apartments have water streaming in from the living room windows every time it rains! They are coming around and installing some kind of clip inside the windows? I am so lucky I have not had that problem!! Another blessing!!

Maybe I will lean back in my chair and close my eyes while I wait.... :)

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