Thursday-8pm

Okay! Have new mouse and can blog again! Lots of pictures--lots to tell. Better start at the beginning, eh?

I had a foreboding feeling before Dagan's surgery. Since I have had those feelings many times over the years and they usually never end up being what I might guess they are about--well, let's say I was already kind of on alert before they went down to Minneapolis. I even asked them to leave the keys for the other car for me at their place. Much more comfortable for me to drive if I had to drive down to Minneapolis. I have never asked them to do that before.

We had some miscommunication. Dagan was informed the day before surgery that he might have a smaller second incision, a half chest size, or the full chest incision--depending on the surgeon. They never told me.

So I was expecting a simpler surgery. When I first got a text from Leah about the surgery being 2-6 hours--that was like a red flag going up for me. He hasn't had leads replaced before, but that wouldn't take 6 hours with two small incisions and an overnight stay. I figured they must be expecting complications. I had no idea the surgeon decided on the full incision and cracking his chest open, of course. I didn't hear anything for four hours! So I assumed there had been complications.

I can barely text and Leah couldn't use the phone inside the hospital. She didn't sound worried and didn't mention complications? When I finally got a call from her after Dagan had been in out of surgery for a few hours--Dagan had been on the respirator in recovery and was going to be staying for days (also major surgery stuff??). I knew Leah had never been through a major surgery with Dagan, so I didn't want to alarm her and had just waited to find out what was going on. I finally find out that he had to have his chest opened up to install the new leads...and Leah said they knew the day before (at his pre-op appointment).

So--not only did they scare the shit out of me worrying about Dagan during surgery, but they knew and didn't tell me!? So--why wouldn't they have told me?! Because they obviously didn't want me to drive down. Let's just say I was devastated. Felt deceived and was very mad at my own body for being such a tremendous limitation that people might not even want me around. Too much trouble, you know? I was thrilled Dagan was okay, but also feeling useless and unwanted. Roller coaster of emotions. But I didn't let on to them how hurt I was, of course.

Until I went over to visit on Monday. Was tremendously relieved. Leah meant that they knew it might be a possibility the day before, but they didn't find out for certain until about 15 minutes before his surgery that they were actually going to crack his chest open, etc. They never thought about me kind of knowing too much information--putting two and two together and knowing something bigger was going on, you know? Neither of them were concerned or worried about any of it--and all went well. I wouldn't have been freaking out up here either if I had also known all the facts--hehe! Talk about a crossing of the communication wires!!

So--we were able to laugh about it after all was explained. And they will be sure to keep me better informed next time--which we hope will be years and years from now. Dagan and Leah were just home and resting a lot. Leah didn't want her picture taken and hid under the throw. Dagan was still taking pain pills as needed. He isn't going back to work until Monday.

AND--the best news! Well, two things. First of all--as Ruby says--Dagan was born with a horse shoe in his pocket. When he got down to Minneapolis they discovered that his battery on his pacemaker had died and his heart was beating on its own and maintaining 60 beats per minute or more!! So--much less stressful to not worry about pacemaker malfunctions or batteries dying--hehe!

For a while his heart didn't beat on its own at all, then after he got married it started beating at 30-40 on its own--and now it was all the way up to 60! Marriage is good for Dagan's heart--hehe! He still needed the pacemaker because he has always had problems from birth with irregular beats and arrhythmias cropping up. But now the pacemaker really is more like back up support--tada! So--all is well up here with Mr. Dagan.

The second bit of big good news is that The Universe, God, the angels, and Dagan's horseshoe in his pocket were probably all involved in Leah's not getting a job--until now! As if they knew she'd be needed to take care of Dagan for a week and a half, you know? Leah now has a new job and she starts on Monday!!! It's a customer service phone job, but since the company is growing Leah might be able to work her way up. Anyways, Leah has a job!! All is really, really well up here in Fargo. :):):)

Meanwhile--I was mouseless. Couldn't use the desk computer at all and had to use my slow laptop with that dreadful finger pad--hehe! The big Pillars book worked well to keep Miss Karma from lying on the laptop keyboard. She loved the laptop up on my desk all the time because she could get up close and personal and it gets hot, too, there by her front toes.

I never could get used to the finger pad. I was constantly opening windows I didn't want to open and closing windows I didn't want to close and deleting things I didn't mean to delete--arg!! And since the laptop is very slow (small brain, I guess) I couldn't watch videos or open links, etc. I could read emails. Typing was a problem because of the keyboard--hehe! When I didn't type very, very slowly tons of letters were missing in my words--hehe! Mishmash!! So I am thrilled to be back on my faster desk computer--with a mouse! Leah was out shopping today and brought them over. Have one for the laptop, too. Always good to have a backup mouse. I'll pay them back in October. Thanks Leah!! :):):)

I have lots to catch up on--gifts in the mail and my Impressions order arrived--but I am totally done in for today. More tomorrow. :):)

Karma would say hi--but she's passed out on her chair at the moment.

Nice to be back. I look forward to catching up on everything I've missed online. :)