Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tuesday--3:30pm--I Mourn My Body Past

I Mourn My Body Past
I remember
Racing through the Minnesota grasslands
Playing wild horses with the neighbor kids
Until I fall
Rubber legged
Smiling
Rolling upon the ground
Too winded to laugh out loud

I remember
Teetering on two inches of wood fence
Encircling the dusty
High school ice rink in July
Watching dirty toes inch
With winged and waving arms until
Sweat trickling down my neck
I retreat
And nestle into the oak tree’s arm
Jagged bark prickling the back of my thighs
As the breeze raises goose bumps
And the Meadow Lark sings

I remember
Evening calf muscles twitching
Red arms burning
Against rough sheets
After a day of pumping bike pedals
Standing upright
Slippery palmed
And panting another journey
Up the hill by the water tower
Working to earn
Two minutes of free-ride flight

I remember
Dancing
Heart in my hand
Music pounding
Pulsing up my body into my eyes
Light as clouds and air
And love
Until the rhythm and the moon retire

I remember
Carrying
In capable arms
Groceries and presents
One hundred pounds of feed
An eight-foot Mediterranean couch
Leaden boxes of books
Aquariums with gravel sloshing
Dinners and desserts
A marriage
And a seven-pound baby boy

But now I reside
In my body present
With musical knees
That slow me on the stairs
An injured arm
That will never hold a grandchild in its crook
Painful heels
That can no longer dance at dawn
And a constant pain
That steals my sleep and limits my days

I mourn my body past
But I remember
And I smile
Too winded to laugh out loud

5 comments:

  1. Ahhhhh - to the good ol' days when we took SO MUCH for granted!

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  2. A beautiful ode to your body past, Rita, and though your body present is often racked with pain, it has served you well and is still hangin' in there.....that has to count for something.....now if only those aches and pains would take a break. I so wish that for you. I actually wouldn't mind my own aches and pains taking a break either. lol As Sheila said, we take so much for granted until we're older and wiser and see just how good we had it. :)

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  3. What a beautiful poem.

    I can see it written into one of your booknotes - like the ones with the green bugs - in fine, looping cursive pen.

    And your mind is powerful - so even on the days when you can't "racing through the Minnesota grasslands" you still can... in your mind (and now, in mine too.)

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  4. I meant, "when you can't GO 'racing...'"

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  5. Thanks everybody! Commiserating feels especially good right now since I haven't been feeling well for a few days. I wish I'd just get out and out sick or well, one or the other! :)

    You do miss things when they are gone. Well, in my mind--I am racing through Minnesota grasslands! Pardon me while I blow my nose. cough cough :):)

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