Good Morning!
Another week has flown by.
We've had some sun...
...some cloudy dark days...
...our two weeks of faux-spring melted all the snow...
...but we had a smidgen of snow a couple times after the weather returned to our normal seasonal 30s-low 40s again. But it melted away again by afternoon.
Since Friday a pair of Canadian geese have been waddling by once or twice a day.
The mate was far enough ahead that by the time I was ready to take a picture...
...there was just the one in my sights.
Goodness they are huge close up! And their webbed feet are so big they look like small plates--so they have to walk like a human with flippers on--LOL!
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Karma loves her new Cat TV, I tell ya!
The cloudy...
...and the sunny days kept alternating.
In the evenings if the sun's rays are unimpeded we can be blasted with what looks like a small sun...
...but is just glare off the neighboring building. :)
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As you can probably tell, I am procrastinating.
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Let's get the announcement out of the way...
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Okay...
I've been blogging since 2007 and have never taken a break. I'm pretty sure I may have gone over a week between posts on rare occasions, but I don't think I have ever gone two weeks. Those of you who have followed me for years know that even the only once a week blogging has been different for me...and that has been going on a lot...especially since the move. Well, I pushed it and got unpacked and basically sorted all my stuff by October. But...we're coming up on six months now and I am still not "recovered" to my normal.
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This has been the worst fibro flare since the last time I moved eleven years ago. I know it took me a good year (or two?) to recover last time, but I thought to myself--I was in much worse physical shape to begin with back then so I should recover faster this time. Right? One would think--LOL! But fibro is a fickle and ever-changing companion. (And--I have to reluctantly face the fact that I'm a decade older and wasn't able to do as much, in general, as I was about 9-10 years ago.)
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Pain focus can shift around--leave or not leave. I remember when I was trying to finish college and attended an art class where we were supposed to sit in hard, tall, backless stools for a 3 1/2 hour class twice a week. All it took was a couple of weeks and knife pain decided to settle right into my tail bone. I didn't use the stools as much as possible...I stood next to the table (but that set off my plantar fasciitis and heel spurs--LOL!)...finally got permission from the instructor to do most of my work at home and leave after instructions & sharing. Fibro can be as stubborn and persistent as Miss Karma when she gets something into her head. That knife pain (that could bring tears to my eyes just getting out of a chair and the subsequent array of special pillows tried for parking my bottom on) lasted over two years. It could have lasted for the rest of my life or a few days. That particular knife pain chose to stay almost 2 1/2 years. Then it just faded away...only an achy hint of it since if I sit too long on a hard chair. (You can believe I pay attention and move--LOL!)
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It's the same with the exhaustion...the chronic fatigue. I've been able to self-regulate my activity all the years I lived over at West Winds. Until Ian came along I only left my apartment 3-4 times a year. Other than Caroline coming for cleaning every two weeks I'd see Dagan and/or Leah 0-3 times a month. It was easy to self regulate my limited spoons.
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Note: For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about (or, like myself, can't always remember well--another side effect is fibro fog brain)...you can read the short essay on Spoon Theory here. :)
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I never had a lot of spoons to begin with. This past year or so my spoon average has dropped considerably. You might recall me mentioning my "noodle" days where I feel so weak all over that my arms and legs feel like noodles. Remember when I spilled the entire huge Britta water container trying to put it in the frig at my old place? Well, I already put a chip in the glass plate on the bottom of my microwave here because I couldn't lift a measuring cup quite high enough to get it out of the micro. True--I am quite short (and getting shorter) and everything is higher here--but, if I am honest with myself, it was that general CFS weakness--noddle arm--that did it.
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Now, don't get me wrong. I am doing just fine. I am not feeling sorry for myself...maybe a little too frustrated sometimes the past couple months...but I am in a good mood and very happy with my new place and Karma and I hang out and watch Netflix--LOL! (Leah told me I am always in a good mood.) But I had thought I'd be out of this flare by New Years...and then by my birthday. Totally thought at New Year's that I was being ridiculously silly saying it could take till my birthday. You know what an optimist I am. Well, it's a week till my birthday and I am only a smidgen better than I was at New Year's.
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So, I have to face the fact that I could feel like this for the rest of my life, a couple years, a few months, or start feeling better tomorrow. But I can't count on tomorrow or any time soon, really. I still have even less spoons than I normally used to have. So--I need to make some changes. If I am going to have as much of my extra-limited "good" time as possible for McFamily, art & crafts, attempting a social life here...I have to shift spoons about. Maybe I'll have more spoons soon...or after while...?? But for now I only have my very few to work with.
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So, I decided not to hook up with the T-Stands For Tuesday group anymore. I never was able to make it around to visit the group again last week. It takes me a long time to visit and comment on 15-20 blogs (even when I don't have computer issues)...and it's a kind of time sensitive group, of course. Even giving me a week to visit...well, I am just not going to connect with the T-Day group right now. Not sure if I'll be back or when...but I would need more spoons. ;)
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You might not see the red thermal cup again soon.
And--I will not be around to visit and comment on blogs as much in general. But I will still try to comment back as much as possible with my own loyal blog commenters. (Love you guys!) So if any of you happen to miss my chatter--please comment on the blog, okay? [Or write a letter! I have a set-up in my comfy chair with pillows and a lapdesk so that I can usually hand-write even on bad days.]
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So this way I will just blog whenever I feel up to it. I am not sure what that will look like. I might take a long break or even end up blogging more often with shorter blog posts--who knows? Kind of just blogging without obligation and chatting with people who are nice enough to come by to visit, I guess. Till I have more spoons. :) :)
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Okay--done with the blog shift announcement.
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Oh--and thank you for being so patient with me, those of you who have waited for a month or more for a nice long chatty email. :)
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Well, Dagan was here Friday and discovered that I hadn't had an operating system update since 2011. Was still using Snow Leopard (got that after Leopard, as I recall). So he started the newest system upgrade--El Capitan. (What a funny name.) This system is new enough to get Chrome updates, too--tada! By the time I got it downloaded and installed--and discovered I wasn't connected to the internet anymore--it was time for Movie Night.
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I did go down for the movie and did get one of the big stuffed chairs...but this time it took 40 minutes for six old ladies to get the movie started (we all hate Universal Remotes!)...so we had chatted a lot...a couple ladies had made popcorn...I had already seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding...was very tired (big surprise)...so I excused myself and went home to work on the laptop.
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And--El Capitan is working! I have not seen the crash boxes since! McLap is even slower, of course, with the new updated system--but now we can maybe work on cleaning up files and such to get a little extra speed. Or Dagan can--LOL! We had to get her functional first. (I know how she feels!)
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Even when McLap is plugged in it only is running at 77%. The battery is dying. It only lasts 5-10 minutes if you unplug it. A couple months ago it lasted more like half an hour. But McLap is functional again--for now--whoohoo!! Good thing because the old HP laptop from Dagan's work--the mouse won't work at all so it's kind of dead in the water as of a few days ago. I'm hoping Dagan can come over after work on Friday again this week. ;)
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Leah was here till late for Crafts last night. We had a blast! Were using emboss resist techniques and watercolors on 140 lb watercolor paper.
We laid them on some old craft/art towels to dry. Miss Karma got in trouble for plopping down on them. Luckily she picked the drier ones and didn't rainbow herself with bright colored paint--LOL!
This week--I have social possibilities every single day. Today I am going to drag myself down for a piece of cake for the March birthdays. Caroline comes to clean tomorrow. There are things I could go to on Thursday and Friday...and Dagan may come over for tech support on Friday again. See? You know I will never manage to be doing something every single day. In my world, just having company takes spoons. ;)
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So, I shall say goodbye for now. Honestly, not sure when I'll be back. I may only have enough spoons to write my own blog and write people back who leave blog comments or write emails--but I won't stop blogging altogether. I don't think I could. I'd miss you all too much.
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So, I am off to take my half a spoon down for some cake...come home...and collapse with Miss Karma...and wait to see if the geese sweethearts stroll by today.
Love and hugs!!! :):)
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"As long as the candle burns, there is time to make repairs."
Rabbi Salanter
