Karma using my foot as a pillow.
As an additional motivator I decided to join Art Every Day which is for the month of November, too. I will be counting making cards, videos about crafts/pens, doodles, cooking, sketching, writing, whatever. They're pretty loose with the rules.
****
The rules (which were made for breaking):
I keep the rules for AEDM really simple and very loose. I encourage people to make something every day, but my goal is to foster more creativity, so if you make just one piece of art per week or just one for the whole month, that's fine with me. The idea is to bring more creativity into your life, not to make you feel overwhelmed, pressured, or guilt-stricken. Art is loosely defined here. I mean art in the sense of anything creative, whether it be painting, drawing, knitting, sewing, cooking, decorating, writing, photography, clay, jewelry-making or whatever.
****
I'm thinking of setting up my art table with my watercolors or Chinese Brush Painting so that it is easy to go work for a while at any old time. I haven't done that for a long time. And I've always said I wanted to try the doodling zentangles--so I can just keep something by my chair for that. I'll be plenty busy making cards in November, for sure. ;)
****
I think I just needed to change things up...give myself a jump start. Leap into low gear! ROFL!! :)
****
Speaking of...as a warm up for November...the prompt for today is:
Have you ever been between a rock and a hard place?
****
To me, that means not knowing what choice to make or actually feeling you have no choice in the matter at all. Most definitely!
****
The advice I always got from GA (guardian angel) was: When in doubt, do nothing. Step back. Weigh the situation. Wait. Listen. The way will become clear and you will know what is the right decision...the right thing to do. You will feel it in your gut...your heart...your soul. Have faith.
****
Easier said than done.
****
I was so impatient when I was young. (Still can be!) Waiting did not come easy for me. Learning how to become more objective took time. And trusting my gut feelings...well, I was always second guessing or talking myself out of negative reactions (not Minnesota nice, you know--LOL!). Stepping back and waiting...well, that was like giving up the reins!! ;)
****
And listening!! My mind would be going 90mph milling endlessly...trying to figure out the solution. You can't hear guidance if your thoughts are too loud. You don't catch the hints if you are so preoccupied you are paying no attention. But it is so difficult to shut that mind chatter off.
****
For me, that involved trust. Trust that I would be okay. Trust that I was worthy of being one of God's sparrows.
****
The last time I was between a rock and a hard place was when my health was so bad that I was forced to quit college. I could barely physically function, couldn't support myself, had been turned down twice for disability, was losing my apartment, had already lost my car, had no place to move to and no money to move...was so depressed that I was seeing a free counselor and would just cry my way through my sessions. (Normally, I'd rather die than let anyone see me cry!) I could see no way out. I'd be on the street at the end of the month...right after Christmas.
****
Out of sheer exhaustion, I finally let go of it. Handed it over. Gave up. Let go and let God, as they say. Even with all my decades of practice and seeing that it actually works...I still cling by my fingernails to the reins. But I handed it over. Quit the internal struggle. Felt much calmer inside...even though everything was still just as dire.
****
Within a week and a half...I was finally accepted on disability, would get a back-pay check that could pay for me to move, and even got "help" finding this apartment! How? I had been looking for something available that was super cheap because I wasn't going to have much to live on...and available immediately. The low income places had waiting lists.
****
Well, it was one of those naggy things that GA does. I kept getting the name of this complex in my head--kept popping in over and over--be in my mind as I was waking up or falling asleep--annoying the heck out of me. Their ad said 2 and 3 bedroom apartments--no one-bedrooms--not worth calling, right? Finally I called, just to quiet the naggy voice in my ear...to prove I was right, of course. Lo and behold, the lady said she had a one-bedroom that was going to be available because they were evicting someone. It was not even listed yet and she said they had so few one-bedroom apartments at all in the complex that they didn't even bother to list them on the ad. I set up an appointment to see the apartment. When I called back for directions a different girl said there were no one-bedrooms available...but I had her check with the other lady. No one else in the office had even known about it yet! I just so happened to call and get the one lady who knew. (Can you hear the Twilight Zone music?)
****
So, I had fully expected to be living in a dumpiest of dump efficiency apartment and having to put half my things in storage/sell them/give them away...and been happy to not be on the street. But I ended up here! In a newer complex with an elevator, dishwasher, pantry, balcony Dagan and Leah helped me turn into my little porch, washer and dryer in my apartment (rented), garage, and I discovered I could finally have a cat again!!!
****
God had better plans for me than I could have ever imagined or figured out on my own. :):)
****
I was a falling sparrow.
****
I was actually seen...and caught.
****
That is why I am so very grateful for my home.
My sanctuary!! :):)
****
Rock and a hard place?
Peel back those gripping fingers...shut off the mind in spin cycle...trust...and let go.