Good early morning!
Been quite a week!
First of all--so much for "consultation". He wanted to do the bladder scope right then and there in his office! Threw me, I tell you! He could tell by the look of panic on my face, I am sure. Said we could wait but it would be better to get it over and done with. Swore it would take less than a minute. Really a nice guy.
I was so nervous about the bladder scope, as you could tell. We all have our things we fear the most. I had catheter pain in my mind and fully expected it to be done out patient at the hospital. They usually don't even have you awake for catheter insertions because they are so painful. I had not been awake for my previous bladder scope or tumor surgery (done together) or my catheter insertions...so I was hoping to be asleep for this and assumed it was going to be really painful.
Well, it is awkward--stirrups, slathered with iodine, embarrassing (to have a nurse practitioner parting the way while it is done), and the insertion was a bit painful for a moment (but nothing like I had imagined in my mind), then was just weirdly uncomfortable as he moved the camera around...and done! Yup! Less than a minute! Not fun, but not that bad. Good, because I was told I need to have this done every six months also--along with my CT scan every six months. Just maintenance checkups!!
I am sooo glad it is done AND my bladder was clear! Officially am CANCER FREE! TA DA!!!
He was very understanding and now I know what this scope thing is all about so won't be so nervous next time. Not that it is fun, but it's tolerable and quick. (Would imagine easier for women.) The CT scans have usually been a breeze for me. (The only problem can be a nurse who isn't good at putting an IV in--don't like needles--only had that once--that's always a random possibility.) The scan itself is easy. Way shorter than the PET or MRI. So, I am just on maintenance double-checking now!!
Monday morning I got a message from Dr. Failing's nurse that they had already called in the steroid prescription! The prescription is a little bit stronger and a little bit longer AND she apologized again for the delay and wanted me to let them know how I was doing after a while. Made me feel so much better to know they heard me and care what happens to me. I had honestly fallen back into the feeling I had at Essentia--that I was on my own and it was pointless to try to tell them how I felt and what was happening, you know?
Now I feel safe there again. :)
So, Leah and I were able to pick up the prescription after the bladder scope appointment so I could start the steroids on Tuesday morning! Wasn't wishful thinking after all--lol! And my sinuses and the mucositis mouth are getting better. Not the diarrhea, though, so far...but I am hopeful. I have four weeks on the pills this time instead of 20 days. And they are reduced 4-3-2-1 a day for a week instead of 4-2-1-1/2 a day every five days. Fingers crossed. I haven't had any burst of energy right away this time or endless hunger. But last night I did finally get some things done--so maybe it is just kicking in. :)
Keanna came to clean in the afternoon. Made it before the bigger snow storm. The critters always know when a storm is eminent and are here chowing down in preparation.
Leah and the boys had a few things to drop off. The snow had started by early evening, though, so I met Leah at the front door to get the bag so they could high tail it home. No visit with the boys this week.
I am rarely able to catch the weather report to hear how much snow we got, but since my days and nights are flipped I could find it online that morning. 5.7 inches. I knew it looked like a decent amount drifted out there. You can see where the critters had been by already digging on my patio for some something to eat in the fresh snow. I tossed out some seed...
Last one has pockets that I don't do for letters, but I love her pretty paper and she shows clearly what she is doing.
How did I get into making these "bookcards" for letters? It was because of a handmade papermaking kit! I had all these handmade papers I loved making (fell in love with my new Arnold Grummer kit)...but then...what to do with all those pretty papers, right? Well, this letter writer thought they were the perfect size to fold in half to make a card, right? But you couldn't actually write on the paper well at all. So--tried putting a piece of card stock for a liner inside to write on. The handmade paper was too textured so that nothing worked...not double sided tape, liquid glue, or glue sticks. When I thought of sewing a piece of paper to the inside (which would look awful on the backside)...I thought of the college bookbinding class!! So, using the handmade paper for the covers I could add some paper inside in a single signature with a pamphlet stitch...well, it was perfect!! Turned those unusable handmade paper cards into a little book-letters. Hence I just started calling them bookcards.
When I was out of my own handmade paper...well, you know how I write letters...I used my scrapbook paper and even bought "handmade" paper and other pretty papers for covers. Been making these off and on for a couple decades now. They are a bit of work, so when I do make them I make them in huge batches to last a while, as you have seen recently. Been saving the embroidery thread remnants all this time--which is why I have had to get a bigger and bigger container for the threads over the years--LOL! I need to make handmade paper again as soon as I am healthier. It is on the messy side. Leah and I had thought about doing it out on my patio last year--but I still felt like crap, honestly. I figure if I get moved by fall or winter this year that probably the summer of 2024 I will be out on the deck with the boys and Leah making paper again!! Even if I felt a ton better by this summer, you know that packing and purging will be the priority.
Can you tell I am dreaming of when I actually might feel back to my normal?! :)
All you have to do is give me a thread to hang on to--like just starting to see improvement again on the steroids--and I want to cling to it fiercely! :) :)
In the living room I want a kind of milk chocolate brown...on the lighter side. Not a dark brown. Will have to look for it. Maybe even a caramel brown. I figure I'll know it when I see it. Not sure if I am going to put any color in the bathroom or kitchenette. They may just be the light tan color of the ceilings. Leah said I can pick some color for the maintenance room where my washer and dryer will be and could even pick a color for the walls down under the entryway where the storage shelves will be -- outside of my front door at the bottom of the stairs. But that isn't part of my apartment, so I don't know. Might be fun to pick something colorful, though.
I haven't had the burst of energy or endless hunger I got immediately with the first round of steroids...but I think some energy appeared yesterday finally. Last evening I finally was up at the table working on a revised moving master list and then setting up letters!
They are all bookcards!! Whoohoo! I was so far behind again...can really tell when I am feeling awful...had 18 of them!! Lots of wonderful paper chats ahead of me!! Sorry I have taken so long everybody. You can always tell when I am feeling really bad (or more rarely the past couple years--when I am super busy) because my letter writing fades away. I am one of those people who doesn't want to talk when I don't have anything good to say...like a sick dog that just wants to go hide under the porch and be left alone till it heals up or dies, you know? ROFL! Thankfully, I had good news Monday--cancer free!--and the steroids are finally kicking in some. I have a little longer and larger dose this time so I am hoping I will feel better and STAY feeling better this time. (Please-please-please let this be the last time I get knocked back!!)
I have a tight grip on that thread, folks!
Maybe my hours will switch back to days again, too. I had been just napping usually around 3 hours at a time a couple random times a day. Yesterday I totally crashed from 10:30am till 10:15pm!! The crazy hours do wear on me--but I hope that works itself out, too.
Oh, and I realized yesterday that I have done it again! Totally spaced out from feeling so cruddy and forgotten all the March birthday cards! So they will be coming my fellow birthday folk. Belated cards will be sent soon. Sorry. And my own...is tomorrow. 72 years old! I made it. Well, no till Tuesday...so odds are good--ROFL! I can tell you there have been times since Oct 2021 that I have wondered if I would make this milestone.
Grasp tightly to those positive threads of hope.
Be grateful for all the little things.
Be thankful for all the good souls in this world who are so kind and caring and thoughtful.
It is a happy birthday, indeed.
Thank you all!!!! :) :)
Till next week, my friends!