Monday, October 11, 2021

October 11, 2021 Monday--8:45 am

Good morning!

Well, it's an okay morning--LOL!

Another hard week...but there were some good things, too.


The transformer came for my chair.  

Leah came over after gaming from 12:30-1:30am to see if this fixed the problem...AND IT DID!!  I got my chair/bed back--ahhhh!!!  Can't even express what a relief that has been to have my chair back this week.  :) :)


Had my appointment with Dr. Levine in the afternoon.  After being told the eye ulcers could sometimes take up to six weeks to heal, mine were so much better that he said take the drops through Friday and then if they don't get worse and stay good I didn't need to come back!!  SOOO nice to get some good news!


Meanwhile, I had been just plain after day.  Constantly feeling like you will throw up, acid reflux, dizziness, exhaustion, aching all over...painful guts.  I don't think the fasting empty stomach was working too well.  Not that I have any desire to eat.  

The chicken broth helps, but I can only manage to sip down about a cup or less at a time once or twice a day.  Decided to try some keto mousse to coat my stomach.  Dagan dropped off some chicken broth and mousse for me Leah made.  I was sleeping off and on round the clock.  The mousse would help briefly.


By Thursday I was pretty much almost in tears from gut pain and nausea so I messaged Dr. Kobrossy to see if he could let me try a different anti-nausea medication.  They phoned in a new prescription and Leah and the boys went to pick it up for me.  Fast acting, dissolve under the tongue pill this time.  Did help immediatley with the throat and acid reflux part.

Thursdays are what we figure are my only days I can have a short visit with the boys and that Leah and I can have our evening together--if I am up to either of them, of course.  With delta being so rapid we've read that if you are going to get sick it is usually in under five days.  Thursday makes it six days after I have been possibly exposed at the clinic.  So, I did get a short visit with the boys again that afternoon.  But I was so tired that I told Leah I'd pass on our visit that evening.  I was barey functional all week.


Okay--Friday.  Truth.  I hadn't even pooped since the diarrhea incident the week before.  I have read chemo is constipating...and that morning I finally had like little bunny poops--LOL!  Good, I thought.  Less chance of diarrhea, right?

Leah dropped me off for my chemo about 1:30pm.  This time the guy nurse I had really had issues with my port.  Took like 15 minutes for him to get a blood sample.  It hurt when he stabbed in there for several minutes afterwards, too.  I was praying it was ineptitude and not that I am already having trouble with a brand new port!

Once he got the port ready we went to my cubicle.  I asked to be close to the bathroom since he did say I was getting steroids again.  Took less time (2 1/2 hours).  Leah came inside to pick me up and got to sit with me for a while.  :)

Right before I left the clinic I ran to the bathroom and the weirdest thing--had like a gelly-like discharge when I peed.  Got out of there and went home.  I crashed and slept for about two hours...only to be woken up with doubling-over cramps!  Terrible, painful cramps.  And then I had diarrhea!  A watery, burning, painful kind I've never experienced before.  We're talking like acid!  Made you cry to wipe yourself and even bleed a little from the rawness.  This went on for hours.  I had hardly eaten anything so it was like a slow dribbly leaking you had no control over.  Horrible.  Had a bit more of the gelly-like discharge from my poor bladder, too.  

And that was the "mild" dose??!!

Before you ask--yes, I do plan to message Dr. Kobrossy and my lady bladder surgeon today to ask them about this craziness on Friday.  What the heck IS normal with chemo?  I am at the point I am getting afraid to go back.  

I do realize other people probably have it much worse than I do...and most chemo patients do not also have all these pre-existing conditions that I have...but this has worn me out and been generally horrible--already!  I've slept 18 of the last 24 hours.  I feel like shit.  

Anyways, I will be curious to see what my doctors say.

Meanwhile--some bright spots this week!!

Right before I left for chemo a box of flowers was delivered from Janie Junebug!  I had no time to open them and collapsed when I got home...and then spent hours in and out of the bathroom...till I remembered and rescued them from their dark box.  Gorgeous!!
That night due to steroids I was thristy, peeing like crazy, and couldn't sleep--again.  So I started reorganizing in my desk and the livingroom bookcases.  Forgot a before pic--but moved a lot into this bookcase on the right.
Made room in the left bookcase...and lots more to shift around.
Annie was helping with my desk--LOL!
Yes, I have this many hole punches--LOL!
These are the bins from inside the desk.


Leah came by to drop off some roasted chicken to add to my chicken broth and some more mousse.  There was techie-type stuff I haven't laid eyes on since I moved in here six years ago in a couple of those desk bins.  I had Leah go through them.  She took one bin home to sort through and will bring it back empty.  :)

And--yes--I was doing this little by little at like 3am.  Figured I should take advantage of what little bit of steroid energy I had, right?

Leah also took out trash for me and checked my mail.  :):)


The roses were on the limp side at first but they have revived and look totally gorgeous!
Thanks, Janie!  
Exactly what I needed to cheer me up!!  
And they smell wonderful, too!!

Sunday morning very early I actually did finally throw up...water and my anti-nausea pill, ironically.  Been sleeping and sleeping.  Will probably nap again before I message doctors, honestly.  Just writing the blog takes a lot of effort and concentration.  So I am glad it is appreciated.  It's my biggest project every week these days.  I want to tell my story and have a record of all of this, you know--besides just letting you all know how I am doing.  I am determined to tell my truths every you are forewarned--LOL!

Too tired to find a quote.
Till next week.
*love and hugs*


  1. What a challenging week you've had, Rita. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I am happy that there were some bright spots - like having your family close by and supporting you, and the beautiful flowers. I hope that the side-effects that you are experiencing aren't going to last the duration of the chemo. I'll be hoping that things improve and there are even more bright spots for you this week.

  2. I'm so happy for you that the chair works again, and such good news about your eyes. It's awful that you're having the gastric issues they can't get under control. I hope the doctors have a plan when you describe your problems. The roses are gorgeous! You're doing a lot if you can channel that steroid energy into constructive activity. It's not something everybody can do. I hope this next week is a better one.


  3. What a mixed week you had

  4. Whenever I think that it's hard to read your posts, Rita, because of all you are and have been going through with the diagnosis and treatments, I'm thankful to find you here each Monday. This post was a lot of not-so-good news and chemo treatments sure seem as bad as the disease, so hopefully will produce a good end result. Yeah on getting the chair back to working again and sure that will help you rest better. Wishing you a more restful rest of the week with less discomforts on both ends too.

  5. Hi Rita. Those are beautiful flowers from your friend, Junie. Wow, you are ambitious to clean and organize your desk and bookshelves. Thanks for "keepin' it real" as you go through this very challenging time. Sending you love from Utah. You remain in my thoughts and prayers every day.

  6. Everyone has different results from chemo, I am not sure the Doctors even know all the side effects. I hope your symptoms straighten out and become tolerable. One more week and you get a week off! You can do it!
    Yeah for getting your chair fixed and I hope your eye problem is behind you!
    Those are some beautiful roses! How special is that!! You have some wonderful friends!
    One day at a time!

  7. I'm sorry things have been so rough for you. Chemo is so difficult. When you go to get the chemo are there nurses that you can talk with about the side effects and also about being able to eat? They should have a lot of experience helping people with those things. It is important that you try and eat something everyday to keep your strength up through all this. When my brother was going through chemo he sometimes would find unexpected things that he could eat. I remember once he was eating the frozen waffles that you put in a toaster. He didn't put syrup or anything on them but just ate them toasted and plain. Chemo can mess with your taste so sometimes something unexpected will taste good to you.

    I'm so happy for you to hear that your eyes are better! I bet it is also great to have your chair finally repaired too. Those flowers Janie sent you are gorgeous! That was very thoughtful of her to do that. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope things get a little easier for you. Hugs!

  8. It amazes me that you still have the stamina to write your blog, but we are glad that you do. Your life is an ordeal!

  9. Hoping that your doctors have some ideas to help mitigate the debilitating chemo issues. Sorry you have had such a rough week. Certainly good that you at least have your chair back and some lovely flowers to look upon. Wishing you better (symptom free) days. Thinking of you.

  10. It is so upsetting to know all the agony you are experiencing, but your courage and positive attitude is truly inspiring. It's great news that the transformer arrived and your chair is working again. Also I'm glad your eye ulcers are healing.
    Those roses are beautiful - such wonderful colors!
    Take care, you're in my thoughts.

  11. I could have written that comment from Beatrice. I feel the same: trepidation about what you have gone through this week with the chemo, but wanting to know and trusting I'll find out the details through your posts. It is something that anyone who develops cancer can relate to. You are much loved by your virtual family, as well as McFamily. No words can express how much we love you and wish you only the best outcome from this awful trying time.

  12. I'm glad you tell the truth. I wonder if other chemo patients also get diarrhea and are too embarrassed to admit it. I always hear about the vomiting instead. Maybe the diarrhea burns because of the "poisons" in the chemo? I'm so glad Leah could repair your chair. It's funny that Annie helps with things. When I change stuff around it upsets Franklin. He's very sensitive and likes for everything to stay in its place.


  13. OMG! What a time you are having. It is quite amazing that you could summon the energy to do that tidying. Surely they will figure this out and help you et through it. This week has to be better. Right?

  14. I'm am so sorry that I am so far behind. I can only parry you feel better asap, I will try to get up with you soon. I am using a microphone to do speech to text now my hands shake too much to type,

  15. Wow, you are going thru so much. The side effects from the chemo sound terrible. I hope they can find something that will help ease the bad stuff you have to deal with. I have occasional flares of colitis that cause painful, burning diarrhea that last all day and all night so I know what that feels like, and it's no fun. I keep Tucks medicated pads close by when that happens.

    I'm glad your chair is fixed and your eyes are healing. Those are very beautiful flowers.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping next week is much better to your body. *hugs*

  16. I am sorry you are going through so much. It is amazing what our bodies will endure. Payers and healing energy sent to you.

  17. I'm praying for you for better days. Those roses are absolutely gorgeous! Enjoy them. Don't overdo when you are feeling so perky. You have a super day, hugs, Edna B.


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Have a really great day! :) :)