July 20, 2021 Tuesday--6:30am

 Good early morning!

As soon as I said I hadn't seen any rabbits since last winter...

...there was a baby cottontail on the patio!  

What a cutie pie!

Looked too small to reach the flowers, but they can stretch quite a bit when they want to.  And where there is one rabbit...LOL!

So that may well be the flower munchers--cottontails!  I wish they would eat them up if they chew them off.  *sigh*

The news wasn't good this past week, but you know how I like to go chronologically.

I did have a Gramma Day with Ian on Tuesday...the day I saw the cottontail.  Ian played briefly with the new supplies...geometric shape stencils and a larger helix circle maker...

...but he seemed a bit tired, I think, from the tennis and golfing in the heat.  Watched some of his current favorite show (seems to change every time I see him-lol!) and we watched YouTube videos of baby birds sped up from eggs to leaving the nest.  Was a laid back Gramma Day.  :)

Wednesday I made soup.  Thursday I did laundry, hauled out trash, and Leah came in the evening.  She mostly worked on figuring out why my laptop is not charging.  It is at 6%...plugged in...and shuts down completely every so often so that I have to let it rest.  (Another reason to start blogging early besides the painful joints in my hands--lol!)  Anyways--Leah did online support, battery is good, apparently...so ordered a new charging cord.  Leah also cut my hair so I wouldn't look so straggly for the hospital.

Friday I had the MRI.  A strange experience--lol!  Earplugs & headphones--and they must have chosen "60s bubblegum music for the 70 year old" to play softly in my ears--ROFL!  A big plastic board of sorts was strapped on my belly and they put a bulb shaped thing in my left hand that I could squeeze if I wanted o-u-t.  There was a lot of "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in and hold your breath" while the machine made a variety of noises. One sounded like a maniac pounding crazily on a door.  Most were a series of odd clicking sounds.  Sometimes the table felt hot.  I kept my eyes closed and tried to relax as much as one can while following directions on when to hold your breath and not thinking about the fact you're in a tube inches from your face--lol!  Had an IV that shot dye in my arm at one point--didn't sting for long, but did at the beginning for a quick bit.  The entire experience took around half an hour.  Was not as bad as I expected...but I was really ready to be out of there by the end.  

Leah and the boys dropped me off at home.  Later Leah came over to water the planters for me and Liam asked to come with.  He seems to enjoy watering my planters with the red sprayer hose.

I was more exhausted by the MRI than I thought.  Fell asleep from 7:30-10:30pm!  And I just spent the weekend relaxing, resting my hands, and--Leah was right--I was too shot for a Gramma Day.

Yesterday was the new urologist and the results of the MRI.  Leah left the boys with Dagan and came in with me this time.  (Dagan needs to use up some of his vacation time and that's a good thing with everything going on with me, I guess--a silver lining?)

The urologist was a lady doctor and was very nice.  Not great news, though.  I have three small masses in my liver.  One looks benign, but the other two look different.  Could be the cancer has spread to my liver so I need to get a biopsy (needle in the stomach).  That's a separate procedure that will reveal if the cancer has metastasized.  The needle bit hasn't been set up yet, but will probably be soon.

Meanwhile, I need the tumor/mass scraped off my bladder.  Then they will be able to see whether it has gone into the wall, what kind of cancer it is, etc.  I will be put under for that one--hallelujah!  They may also fill my bladder with some medicine/chemical stuff for an hour afterwards (catheter) depending on what the cancer looks like.  They didn't say whether I would be awake for the super full bladder time or not.  Hope not, but what can you do.

Long run--worst case scenario--if the cancer turns out to be bad/inoperable and/or spreading...they may have to remove the bladder.  Don't even want to think about that, to be honest.

There will be more trips in for pre-op stuff.  That's it so far.

There are no conclusions until I have the surgeries as to what will need to be or be able to be done.

I am still just absorbing it all.

By the time Leah and I were leaving the hospital there was a sudden (totally unexpected by the weather folks and apps--0% chance of rain) thunderstorm with wild winds and lashing rain.  Just getting from the car to the front door of the building here I was totally soaked--LOL!  We need the rain and I actually wished it had lasted a lot longer.

It stirred up the Canadian geese who live a couple blocks away, I guess.  Look what the storm brought in--LOL!  

Might have been a family with nearly grown young ones.

Supposed to be in the 90s for another week yet.  Every day.  My new chair won't get a lot of use--LOL!  Too dang hot and the air is almost wet with humidity.  Oh well.  This, too, shall pass, right?

I have a few pics from Leah to share, too.

I was telling her how France was lending the US a miniature statue of liberty--and she told me that we have one here on one of the bridges (to Minnesota).  What?!  I didn't know that.

She took a picture of it.  You might have to enlarge to see her.  I'll be darned!

With the delta variant spreading more and more in the US it makes me wonder how much longer it will be safe to have our bubbles?  Here are the boys with Uncle Aaron.

Or for the boys to be able to go to the playground (only a recent addition that may be short lived)...

...or for Ian to be able to go to things like his tennis class with the kids a couple times a week.

Liam goes along to watch with Mama.  Here he is with his shades and a beef stick snack.

I just read that now they are saying that children over two and even those who have been vaccinated (over 12, I believe) should wear masks to school.  Well then public places probably, too, right?  

I am very worried about all the unvaccinated people being okay.

Well, let's end on a lighter note...

Leah sent me pictures of her hanging watermelons!  I've never seen this done before--LOL!

She put them in these mesh bags you can hang on the trellis.  :)

So cute!  Could help them not get all icky on the ground side, I guess.  Anyways, I love it!

Well, by next week I should have the dates and times for all these appointments finalized.  Surgery will be on August 9th, though, and I have my pre-op appointment with a doctor tomorrow.  The hospital seems to be just packed with people.  Maybe a lot of people are getting things done they have put off?  Who knows.  But they have been very busy when I've been in there lately.  There was hardly a place to sit down in the radiology department waiting room when I was there and I had to wait 40 minutes to be called for my CT scan.  We haven't been hit with delta much yet up here.  But we have less than 40% vaccinated in North Dakota last I heard...so it could go badly here pretty soon.

Anyways, stay safe all you wonderful people.  I appreciate every positive thought, prayer, encouraging comment, and good vibe sent my way.  I have been so lucky to have met the best people online over these years I have been blogging...and some new ones now, too.  I just hope I can manage to stay in touch once they eliminate the follow by email.  I don't want to lose you all!  But if I am not commenting quite as much lately even while I still can it is due to a combination of the painful hands, wonky eyes, and cancer-shock to be honest.  But I'll still be reading and posting and doing my best to keep up.  :)

Just got the call...pre-op appt tomorrow, lab pre-op 26th, and pre-op covid test Aug 4th,  Surgery on Aug 9th.  Different department to set up for needle in the stomach to biopsy the liver but it sounded like they would like to have that done before the bladder surgery so I will probably hear from them soon, too.  

I think today I desperately need a pajama day...calm and quiet.  Thinking healing thoughts. Cuddling with Annie.  Watching the birds and a good show or two.  That sounds really, really nice.  :) :) 

Bless you!!

****

"In the midst of gathering darkness, light becomes more evident."

Bonnie Bostrom

And right before I was going to hit post...

Okay, I am scheduled for the liver biopsy on the 29th at 7am.  Said it will take 4-5 hours!  That was a surprise.  It's more like when Dagan has heart caths and you aren't put totally under...but I'll be all groggy and need a ride she said.  For sure.  And since I was supposed to have my covid test that day she said to tell them about that and they can probably work it in while I am there for the biopsy so I don't have to come back or stick around.  Well, I should hope so.  

Okay....now....calm and quiet....calm and quiet....

Till next week.