Saturday, May 09, 2015


The weather has been a roller coaster (have been getting some rain, though) and life has been an emotional roller coaster.
Thursday morning I had my appointment with Dr. Sleckman.  Because of all the recent changes they asked me to come in 50 minutes ahead of time to fill out paperwork.  The rheumatology department has moved and changed floors, too.  
When I got there no one knew why they would have had me come so early because they had no clue what paperwork I was supposed to fill out since I've been coming there for years.
 But everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I always arrive early and had forgotten my cell phone.  I never forget my cell phone.  But I was really tired and sore...hadn't been sleeping well since I got the call from federal housing and had been up since 2:30am.  Apparently I had never checked the phone before I left, either.
Anyways--good news!  Dr. Sleckman will fill out the forms for Karma if I am accepted at North Sky (no pet building and I needed a doctor to say she's a companion animal I need).  He also gave me a new-to-me, non-narcotic pain and anti-inflammation medication to try out.  (I have troubles with meds quite often.)  After I was finished, had new appointments set up and got to the car I realized I had forgotten my phone (because I was going to text Leah to tell her I felt okay enough to drop off the DVD I rented for them to watch).  I was feeling so happy and relieved about Karma that I decided to drive over there even if I didn't give her a heads up.  If I didn't catch her before she went on her errands I had a key and I was too sore to stay long, anyways.
When I got there Leah was still home.  
That's when I found out that my sister had been trying to call me all morning...and so had Dagan and Leah.
My folks had been in a terrible car accident that morning in Florida.  Apparently my dad died instantly.  (Thank goodness!)  He was in the passenger seat and they were T-boned by an SUV on his side.  He was pronounced dead at the scene by the paramedics.
My mom was in the hospital in critical condition.
Leah was wonderful!  She didn't leave on the errands, told me I could stay as long as I wanted, offered to make me food or something to drink--but I had no appetite (even though I hadn't eaten because of the doctor appointment).  I just sat in the recliner...numb.  Dagan called from work and talked to me for quite a while. They are such a blessing!
And Ian is just plain good for the soul. 
He came up and took a nap on Gramma. 
I think little ones and animals pick up on the energy shifting.  When I am there and Mama leaves the room to go upstairs and Daddy isn't home--Ian keeps and eye out until she comes back as he plays or he crawls over to the gate.  But Thursday for the very first time...Leah ran upstairs and Ian crawled over to me and wanted me to pick him up...and he just cuddled with me.  Put his head against my cheek.  
 Ian is good medicine.
I was so numb and drained--was going to try to wait for Dagan to get home but I figured I should get home to check my phone and emails while I had the strength left to drive--left before 3:30, I think.
My brother, Blaine, and sister, Renee, were flying down from Minneapolis right away that afternoon.  Eventually found out that Mom is doing okay!!  Better than expected, actually, with her multiple cracked ribs, bruising, and broken ankle.  I was able to talk to her on the phone in ICU on Friday morning and she's doing well, considering.  Was happy the chaplain had been there to see her a couple times and he was there when I called.  Mom sounded tired and weak, but in decent spirits.
Renee said the nurses loved her already and were surprised she was able to even sit up on Friday with minimal pain medication and all those broken ribs.  Said she must have a high pain tolerance.  (Does run in the family--LOL!)  The specialist doesn't think she needs to have a loose bone chip in her ankle removed, but she has a big heavy boot on her broken ankle.  I guess they don't wrap ribs these days.  Doctors don't think she has any internal injuries, either.  Wow!  Mom is supposed to be moved to a room today!  She doesn't remember anything until she woke up in the ambulance--so that's wonderful! 
The last time I saw my dad was in 2013, because they left early for Florida last year during their summer visit to Minnesota.
He was 94.  Mom is 86.
Honestly, this was a blessing in disguise for my dad.  His health has been deteriorating...congestive heart failure, pulmonary edema, legs swollen and weeping fluids...and he was more and more unhappy.  Not his old silly self the last year or two.  He hated being in the hospital (which he was in twice recently) or the nursing home (which he was in after his hip surgery when he was 90) or being stuck in a wheelchair (why he had hip surgery at 90).  So, now I just see him younger, healthy, telling his puns, flirting with waitresses, laughing and being silly.  
Love you, Dad!  :)  
I will miss you.
And Mom...she's another tough old Swede.  Good news there.  I do believe she is going to be fine.  Being alone will be quite a shift for her when she gets back home--but we are strong, optimistic, practical, stubborn folk.  I'll be calling her every day during her recovery. 
Love you, Mom!  :)
That's kind of all I can manage for today.  I am so grateful to my brother and sister for being able to go down to Florida to deal with arrangements and be there for Mom.  Thank you, Blaine and Renee!  :)
Thanks to anyone and everyone who sends prayers, positive thoughts, and healing energy to my mom.  
Life is precious.  
Be generous with your love.  :) 
"We are never more than one grateful thought away from peace of heart."
David Steindl-Rast


TexWisGirl said...

oh, my gosh... i am so very sorry. but i am grateful he died instantly, and as you said, he no longer has to deal with the ongoing health issues. still, it is a sudden blow for all of you. so glad your mom is dealing with her own injuries and all as well as she is. your brother and sister will certainly help a great deal right now.

as for you forgetting your phone, then deciding to go to leah's, it worked out the best. you got what you needed to get done, then had comfort and family when you needed it most. blessings.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Rita, I am sure this was a post that was hard for you to write. You have my sympathy, remember the good fun times with your Dad. Yes, I am sending healing thoughts and prayers to your Mom and also for you. Being so far away is difficult.
Hope you get accepted at the apartment and good news that your Karma can move too! :)

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I actually came to read about the apartments, because I have virtually been offline for two days. Then THIS post popped up and I was shocked to read your news.

I think not having your cell phone was a blessing, because it was better to learn the news in person, rather than sitting in the Dr's office. I am so sorry to read about the death of your father, but you seem to know it was best for him. And if it was the other person's fault, a hefty settlement seems in order.

Give my best and sincere sympathies to your family, and please take care of yourself. You need to be strong in order to move (OPTIMISM).

Deb said...

So very sorry for the loss of your dad. That was quite shocking news. Glad to hear that your mom is recovering. You have a good outlook on everything. I need to catch up on your previous posts. Sounds like you are going to be moving after all. Hope that goes well. So glad you have family near at this time of loss. Peace and comfort to you, my friend.

GrandmaG said...

I also believe things happen for a reason. So good you didn't have your phone to get the horrible news while you were dealing with the doc visit! And, yes, grandchildren are definitely "good for the soul" and, I agree, know instinctively when we need extra love. Recently my 5-year-old grandson found mom crying in her bedroom over several stress factors. When she told him she just needed to be sad for awhile, he said "well, I'm just going to lay here with you, ok?" So sweet!

And, yes, I believe this was a better end for your dad. My dad, too, would be miserable in a wheelchair or home or hospital with a lingering debilitation. My dad's 84 and my recent prayers are, when his time comes, he goes quickly with very little pain.

My, you've really be having a crazy time, Rita. Are you able to take a sleep aid? One way or another, I hope you find peaceful sleep soon. {{{hugs}}}

Desiree said...

Dear Rita

I came for the same reason as Bleubeard & I was quite shocked to read of your parents' accident and your Dad's demise. You seem to have your usual pragmatic outlook on the whole situation, though and I sense that you are outwardly ok, but your love for your parents clearly runs deep and I know you will have a lot to process in the coming days and weeks. As always, there you are...counting your blessings...seeing the best in a tragic situation...exactly the strength you have shown throughout your life. Please know that my thoughts and love are with you and your family. xo

DJan said...

I think YOUR guardian angels were pretty busy, making sure you forgot your phone so you wouldn't get the news right away while you visited the doctor. Of course Karma is going to move with you, but it's great to know that it now has been documented. I am so sorry to hear about your dad, but I'm glad to know that your siblings will be there in person for your mom. Sending you lots and lots of love, Rita. Lots. :-)

Anonymous said...

Everything I could say has already been said, so all I can do is to send you my love & my prayers!!

Shady Del Knight said...

Dear, Rita, I am stunned by this devastating news. Saying how sorry I am doesn't seem nearly enough. I admire your strength and the fact that you have managed to frame this tragedy to suggest that everything happens for a reason and that perhaps this was for the best. Thank God your mother is recovering. Please keep us updated on her situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear friend.

Intense Guy said...

Hugs. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I awoke from a restless sleep to read this. That shift in energy? Ian is reminding us of the circle of life. He will carry on a part of your father's being. I too, am a bit stunned. Life can happen so fast and unexpectedly.

laurak/ForestWalkArt :) said...

ohmygod. rita!! even though as you say, it's a blessing in disguise that your father has passed because of his health and unhappiness...STILL...what a shock! i am so very sorry for your loss and i hope your mother will heal and not have a terrible time dealing with her loss. my thoughts are with you rita!!
i think the blessing in disguise was you forgetting your cell. not news to be got over the phone. so you ended up at Leah's...she was home...and you had her and Ian for support.
take care rita!! ox

Victoria Zigler said...

I'm glad you'll be able to get the letter you need for Miss Karma, so you know you can accept the place when they offer it to you properly.

I'm sorry about your Dad. I'm glad he's no longer suffering, but sad you had to lose him; and so suddenly too! Glad your Mom is doing OK... Hope she heals well. Hugs!

You're right; animals and babies always know. That was really cute what Ian did.

Eliza said...

My heart fell when I read this post, my condolences to you and your family, prayers for your mother. Karma made you leave the phone at home, you would of been a wreak and unable to drive if you found out that way. Good news with the doctor and the medication, I am interested in what it is as a FM sufferer myself. Sad post I do hope you are doing ok,.

Cyber hugs

Unknown said...

Dear Rita, I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. Sending love and prayers to both you and your mom.

Desiree said...

Oh Rita, I am so sad to here this news but I know he is in a better place. I am glad your mom is doing better. Happy Mothers day to you, so glad you have your kids close to you and they are amazing of course! Super big cyber hugs and sending love your way.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

You were meant to leave your phone at home so you wouldn't get the terrible news till your appointment was over, I am glad your dad didn't suffer but how is your mum going to cope without him. It is terrible news and I feel for you, I can't imagine the pain of losing a parent as I have not been through such pain. Ian sleeping on grandma is a blessing it makes one feel so loved when they sleep on our chest

ChicagoLady said...

I am so sorry your dad is no longer with you, but at least it was quick. We never want to see our loved ones suffer. Sending comforting hugs to you.

Carol said...

I haven't been on the computer much the past few days and am just getting around to reading this. So sorry for your loss. Sending healing prayers for you mother and strength and healing of heart to you.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness - I'm so sorry to hear about the accident and your father. Sending you much love.

Feral Turtle said...

Rita, I know we talked already but I am so sorry for you and I send my prayers for your mom. God bless your family for being there for one another.

GrandmaG said...

So happy to hear about the apartment, YAY! There are many Rita McGregors on Facebook, so I'll need more info. LOL

AliceKay said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

I'm way behind in reading blogs, and I apologize for not seeing this post sooner. I'm reading this with only one eye today as I have something going on with my right eye, and I'm supposed to be resting it. Terri drove me up to the ER in Sayre yesterday afternoon, and I have to make a followup appt with my eye doctor tomorrow. Hoping I find out what it is soon. Not yet a detached retina, but it's a possibility if it's headed that way and I don't get it corrected.

Harvest Moon by Hand said...

Oh my gosh! I am just getting caught up now with reading and am saddened to hear about the loss of your father and your mother's injuries. This is all too much to take in. What devastating news. I hope the good memories you had with your father are helping to sustain you during this most difficult time; and I hope your mother is doing much better and recovering from her injuries.