July 11, 2022 Monday--2:45am

Since I am still awake and can't sleep I figured I might as well at least start the blog.  I may finish.  I may not.  It has been such a week.  I may as well go chronologically and work up to the past couple days.

Monday

Did laundry that I never got put away till...

Tuesday

Hotter weather.  Enough to have to close it up and put the AC on every day.  

Wednesday

The plastic bird bath arrived.  Annie was curious.

I tried several times to screw it together straighter, but seems that was the best I could manage with the plastic parts.

I'm holding up the plastic cover that goes over this base to show you where they suggest you can fill it with rocks to weigh it down.  (Wanted send a picture to show Leah--who said she had some small landscaping rocks that would work.)

Was sooo excited to see a partridge family come to visit near my patio!

Tried to get pictures but they had moved over by the sidewalk...

...and I could barely see the tiny babies in the grass.

So I decided to take a video.  Was so funny to see the one parent spot something in the grass and try frantically to get at it with beak and feet...the other parent joined in too for a bit.  But then a lady and her dog came walking down the sidewalk!  The parents went into a panic!  Called the alarm for the babies to hide, raced around the lady and dog...please excuse my terrible camera work.

I thought I was going to tell the lady that they were acting so strange because they had babies with them...but by the time I stopped the video and went to open the patio door the lady was being almost dragged down the sidewalk by her dog who was excited to try to catch the running birds.  It reminded me of killdeer--only they weren't pretending they had broken wings to divert danger--LOL!  They just ran in front of the lady and dog for as far as I could watch them.

I was looking for the babies, but their defense is to crouch way down and freeze.  Finally I saw the parents flying back and landing on the sidewalk nearby--so I grabbed the cell phone camera again.    

I know zero about editing.  I only know how to point and shoot...and the camera wanted to focus on the patio door screen--LOL!  But you do get a glimpse of the eight babies!  As soon as the parents called for them the family was reunited.  You may remember last year a family came around for a few days but that family was wiped out in a matter of about three days.  I hope these babies are luckier.  Haven't seen them since, but it has been quite crazy around here.

I went to bring out the bird bath--even though it didn't have any rocks to weigh it down yet.  And what did I find on the grass but a dead baby bunny.

Poor little thing.  Didn't look injured by a cat, dog or hawk so I wondered what happened to it.

There was also a long since dead bird (grackle, I think) underneath the bush there beside my patio.  Leah saw it when they were tipping the planters to put the boards under them.  I had forgotten about it till a few days before and just hadn't gotten up the nerve to go out and remove the bird.  Kept debating if I should call the office about the dead bird.  Well, now there was a baby bunny, too--right out on the grass.  It was a sign. I figured, that I had to make a decision.  Just didn't want to do it, to be honest.  The office was closed so I figured I'd call the next morning.

Since it is so windy here I propped the two small tables I have out there kind of around the bird bath in that front corner and am crossing my fingers.  It may get knocked about but it shouldn't blow down the block, I wouldn't think.  I also put the old water dish on the cement for the bunnies.

The grackles seem to prefer the one on the ground.

Annie had fun watching them drink and bathe...but mostly squabble and splash.

I had a video call that night with the grandboys over dinner.  They heard about the dead bunny and all about the partridge family drama.  Sent Leah the pics and videos to show them.

Thursday

I called the office.  The young girl said the maintenance man was there on the grounds that day and would be by later.  I did tell her I was concerned about them mowing over the poor thing.  About 3pm she called back and said the maintenance guy was swamped that day and probably couldn't make it till tomorrow...but she didn't want to wait that long and said she'd come herself.  (Bravo!)

So the brave girl showed up with gloves on, carrying trash bags, and I walked her through my apartment to my patio.  She told me there had been another bunny that wasn't dead yet outside the third building just recently that she had to deal with.  Because it was still alive she had to call animal rescue or rehab or something like that.  It had been bleeding from the mouth...so they wondered if someone was poisoning them.  That would make sense as to there not being any injuries on them and neither of them looking malnourished or anything.

I left her to it because she said she wouldn't come back through my apartment--she just needed to find where the bunny was.  She also took the dead bird (been there a long time as she said she could see the skull) and some cardboard trash that had blown in from a storm a while back. 

Not half an hour later the mowing company arrived to zip around on their big mowers.  Perfect timing!  Whew!

Friday

Had two appointments.  At 11am I had to be to the one clinic for bloodwork and my infusion.  No doctor appointment this time so it was a little faster.  My ANC was up to 2.3--whoohoo!  That was exciting to hear.

We got done at 1pm and had my regular doctor (Kessler) at 2pm at another clinic.  So we drove over and sat and chatted in the parking lot there for a while before I had to go in.  

Okay--I had a spot show up on my cheek under my eye that I mentioned to them at the infusion center.  I had one just like it show up under my nose before that and it never went totally away.  Started out like a tiny mole or bump (not a pimple), got more red, scabbed over, and then just left a little red mark.  Because of my having cancer in my body and them making me promise to tell them anything new or different (although I forgot about the first one which was maybe a 5-6 weeks ago--or longer)...they suggested maybe I needed to see a dermatologist and told me to tell Kessler and show her.  

Well, Kessler thought the same thing.  Set me up with a dermatologist appointment on September 1st.  (Also had me set up my annual physical on October 14th.)  I don't think the skin thing is anything but to be on the safe side they want it checked out to make sure it's not skin cancer.

On the way home Leah and I stopped for food  at the Hardee's drive thru.  Leah dropped me off at home.  Later she came over with foods for me and the rocks for the bird bath.  She filled the base up...but seemed doubtful this light thing could withstand the winds we get here--LOL!  Time will tell.

I usually sleep shortly after getting home on infusion days--and I even had another appointment afterwards so I was pretty well shot.  But I needed to stay awake--Leah was coming back and I also needed to get my lists ready for the next day's grocery run and pickup.  I stayed up too long.  Has that happened to you?  Are overtired, but get past a point and then are just up anyways?  Hard to describe if you haven't done it, I think.

Saturday

Anyways, Leah and her brother, Aaron, made their trip to Target and Costco...and Leah dropped off my stuff here.  I meet her in the parking lot with my trusty cart. 

Meanwhile...Annie didn't eat all her food Thursday night...less than half.  Same thing Friday morning and by Friday night she wasn't touching her food.  By Saturday she was moving slower and sleeping more than usual--not eating at all, only drinking some water--sleeping a lot.  I had told Leah about all that--and that I would keep her informed.

And then right before Leah was coming to drop off the groceries in the late afternoon there was a family email from my brother, Blaine, that my sister, Renee, was in the hospital (down in Minneapolis).  She had collapsed and not been found for about a day or so--has a large brain tumor and needs surgery.  So I told Leah about that and to have Dagan check his email when she got home.

Sunday

Annie really went downhill overnight.  Still not eating--going off to lay down places (but not near me at all)--looking exhausted and weak.  I saw her come out from the pantry and get hit with cramps by the apartment door (which is right next to the pantry door)...and she had a small amount of diarrhea.  Bloody.  Headed slowly down the hallway to go back and lay down in the bedroom--got hit again with cramping.  Tiny bit of bloody diarrhea that time--well, she hadn't eaten really for a couple of days.  I cleaned it all up and got ahold of Leah and told her the bad news--it was time.

Leah and the boys were at her grandparents where she was helping with a TV issue, Dagan was off golfing, and a thunderstorm was on the way.  The boys didn't want to go with after she explained the situation to them (don't blame them) and since Annie is terrified of thunder--definitely wanted to wait until the storm passed anyways.

I wanted to go and cuddle her and have her close before we had to say goodbye...but that wouldn't work well with Annie.  Doing anything different or out of the usual routine always threw her off and made her nervous and scared.  So I had to just let her do her thing--wandering from one spot to doze off to another.  She was a little restless. Either could sense something different with me or probably just because she felt awful.  She laid in the bedroom, by the patio door, in the studio, and had headed off to the bedroom again.  

By that time Dagan got home, the thunder was gone, and Leah said she was on her way.   I needed to get Annie into her carrier.  She had been out like a light in the bedroom closet.  You know you don't usually have to call out a cat's name to wake them up.  Annie was not doing well at all.  Was so warm/hot when I picked her up...yet she immediately purred.  But she started to cry when I put her in the carrier and zipped it closed.  Leah was here quickly after that.

We went to a brand new emergency vet place that was really close by.  You may remember we did not like the vets at Two Rivers because of how they were with my Karma and McFamily's Sammy (Annie's partner from all the way back to the rescue center).  This place was 180 degrees better!  Leah and I were brought to a room with Annie in her carrier.  They took her back to get the IV in her leg and brought her back all wrapped in a big soft blanket and left us alone for a while to say goodbye.  We had a button thingie to push when we were ready.  

Annie never was a lap-cat.  Even after she finally bonded with me she was always beside me on the arm of the chair to my left or lying on the footrest between my legs.  Every once in a while after she jumped up beside me on the arm of the chair I would scoop her up for a little cuddle--she would be purring like crazy but really stressed by all the stimulation so she would bury her head in the crook of my elbow.  I would only do that for like 15-20 seconds because she needed to leave...my shy autistic cat.  She usually stayed on the chair unless I held her just a couple seconds too long.  Could only be a very short cuddle.

So, of course, Annie was wanting off my lap in short order.  I moved her, inside of the blanket, over to my left side--"her side" she's used to from my chair at home.  But she did let me cuddle with her!  She buried her head many times like she would have done in my elbow at home...but she let me sweet talk with her and keep her calm.  Lots of neck and head scratching (her favorite).  When she was getting a bit restless (if she hadn't been in such bad shape she would never have sat that long with me like that, I know)...Leah pushed the button. 

A girl stuck her head quietly in the door and explained it would be a little while and apologized.  They were really so very nice.  Annie was too sick and exhausted to fight me to get off the bench--even though she wanted to for just a little bit.  She settled back into our side-cuddle and we had our time to say a longer goodbye with furry head kisses.  I told her she would go to a place where she would feel safe all the time and could kill all the thirteen striped ground squirrels and birds she wanted.

Then the last lady came in--the one with the needles.  She gave her a sedative first right there beside me.  Annie never had the chance to get scared.  Then the final shot and she was gone.  Sweet Annie will never be scared again.

Everyone was so gentle and kind and understanding.  We would not ever hesitate to go there again.

Leah even came in afterwards (we had our masks on--although I took mine off when I was saying goodbye to Annie).  She took the extra raw cat food--and even fried me up some ground turkey.  More to keep me company for a little while than anything, I think.  :)  

And--more information about my sister had been coming here and there.  She was coherent mostly and getting pain and anti-seizure medication.  Ate a meal and could have visitors though she was still in the emergency room.  

Then we heard she was being transferred to Abbott either Sunday night or Monday morning and would have surgery shortly after but they didn't think she had a good chance of surviving the surgery and people were encouraged to come and visit her.

Then last night (all this has been emails from my brother) there's some kind of website her DIL made for information on Renee (Caring Bridge?).  That is where we can go to find out what is happening, I guess.  Blaine said they are now thinking they might try to take a while to try to shrink the tumor some before they operate.  Could be a week before any decisions are made on surgery now.  

So, that is all happening 250+ miles away, too.  Any prayers, healing energy, or good thoughts would be appreciated.

Well, I made it to the end.  I think I needed to get all that out before I could sleep.  It is now almost 6am.  I am physically and emotionally exhausted...or shattered as the British say.  I feel like I could sleep till Wednesday!  Whew!  I keep expecting to see Annie...think I see her out of the corner of my eye or think I hear her quiet crys as she sits by the gallon jug with the best water in the world so that she won't drink out of her bowl or the shower anymore--LOL!  I am so glad I did spoil her silly self rotten topping off that jug with little bits of water all day long.

I miss her.

Okay--maybe I will sleep--maybe I won't.  I'm in a strange state of partial unreality.  I'll feel better once I have slept, I think...whenever that is.  No alarm.  No cat to want to be fed or have special water.  What a week...

I hope it is a good week for each and every one of you.  Life is so precious.  We just never know what a day can bring...or one moment.  Love.  Hug.  Appreciate.  Have a great day!  Till next week...