7-1-2019 Monday-1:30pm

Well, the saga continues and has turned into a medical mystery.  I will write a little at a time and eventually post today to fill you in.  :)

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Leah came over Monday night.  She wasn't happy I hadn't let them know how bad I had gotten--unable to even make myself coffee or toast.  Just getting to the bathroom and back was about it for me for days. I had good intentions about calling Leah--managed to take a shower but afterwards was too exhausted and hurtin' to even think about going anywhere.   Could barely walk even with the walker.  Just plain too miserable to care, to be honest.  You can get that way sometimes when the pain is all-encompassing. 

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Anyways, Leah had read that carbs were bad for inflammation and so she took over cooking for me.  I have read that about carbs, too, so was just grateful to let her and Dagan take over.  I hadn't even been able to scoop Annie's cat box for days.  They took care of everything all week.  What a relief!  

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Why do we hate to ask for help?  

At least I do.

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But I cannot even express my gratitude.

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On Tuesday Dagan took off early from work so that Leah could take his car (and no kids) to bring me to the walk-in clinic again that afternoon.  I slowly hobble-hopped with the walker to the challenge of actually getting into the car when I couldn't bend my knee and every movement was painful.  Success!  Whew!  I never would have made it into Leah's new SUV!

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That doctor put me on a strong antibiotic (also got infection in a couple of fingers during this time, too?), they took a lot of blood in the lab, and sent me over to the hospital for an ultrasound on my leg to make sure I didn't have a blood clot.  If I had a blood clot--into the hospital with me.

No blood clot.  (Have something called a Baker's Cyst behind my knee but that is of no concern, apparently.)  He didn't know if it was gout or infected joints.  Referred me to the osteopathic doctor the next day and I got to go home and collapse.  But told me that if the osteo dr found infected joints I'd be put into the hospital. 

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It's kind of a blur--so much pain, so exhausted.  Leah made me food, brought me water, checked on Annie's needs...and then on Wednesday...we kind of did the whole thing all over again.

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Leah came to get me in Dagan's car and we went to the osteopathic walk-in clinic at the hospital.  Dr. Ryan didn't think it was gout or infected joints...wasn't sure what this odd combination was, but seems determined to try to figure it out.  First of all he drained fluid from my knee in the office.  Leah knows I can't lie flat on my back so she jumped up on the table so I could lean back on her side.  (Makes me mist up just telling you that.)  He was fine with that.

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He said that he would be able to tell by the look of the fluid if it was infected.  If not, he could give me a steroid shot in the knee.  Looked good--so I got the shot.  And having a good cup of fluid drained off my knee--well, I could partially bend my knee!  And the pain level dropped some right away.  Whew!

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But--still don't know what it is.  
No diagnosis.

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Dr. Ryan sent me to the lab there to get a lot more blood drawn for another series of tests (sent some to Mayo Clinic).  He is on vacation this week.  I go back to see him on July 10th.  He hopes all the test results will be back by then.  (Also referred me to the new rheumatologist already because of some questionable test results, I believe--appt Oct 2nd--yes hard to get in.)  He put me on steroids for six days and I got to go home again.  Whew!

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For a couple of weeks now I have been cat napping around the clock.  The next two times I slept I woke up drenched in sweat!  Never had anything like that--not even with menopause--LOL!  Was like the fluids were trying to escape from the steroids or something--ROFL!  I was clammy all the time.  Still clammy off and on and sweaty when I sleep but gradually have transitioned to just waking up feeling kind of damp behind your neck, instead of dripping wet--LOL!  But I haven't been running a fever.  ??

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The swelling has been going down.  I am right now getting close to being back to about as bad as I was when I went in to the walk-in clinic the very first time.

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Anyways, Thursday Dagan came over to cook for me, empty the Litter Genie, take out the trash, and keep me company for a while.  I could hobble about without the walker again, but can't be up for long.  Thrilled to see improvements!!

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Friday morning they had ANOTHER apartment inspection.  They were just here the Wednesday before!  This time it was for the City of Fargo, they said.  Again--had to let themselves in with the pass key and lock up when they left and I was here in my chair.  I had asked her on the phone when I got the notice why they had to come again when I am so sick and it was just 4-5 random apartments?  Different inspection--won't take but five minutes, she says.  (Makes me wonder if the investment owners are thinking of selling the complex?)  Anyways, they seemed sheepish and weren't here five minutes.  Geez!

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Friday I was able to nuke food Dagan and Leah had made for me and was okay on my own.  Kind of back to semi-functional.  :)

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Saturday McFamily planned to come over for a quick visit so that Ian could open his birthday presents from me.  A crazy storm blew through early in the afternoon.

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After Liam had a nap they popped over.
Gramma was in her chair, but got a few hugs from Ian before they left.
They took pictures and videos for me--tada!
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Ian got a big book about feelings.

Then he was stunned into silence by the set of PJMasks figurines--LOL!

Liam was pretty interested in what was going on, too, of course.

Couple videos:

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It was a quick visit, but a happy one.  :)
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Leah is coming by tonight.  
I am ready for another nap.
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Really hoping they can track down what this mysterious illness plaguing me actually is and that they can do something about it.  I have medication today and tomorrow and then am crossing my fingers I will still continue to improve.  Dr. Ryan is testing for things they did years ago when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia--so he seems to be looking under all the stones--LOL!  I'll try to post next week.  Thanks for all the well wishes and good thoughts.  :) :)
Zzzzzz......
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"Set wide the window.
Let me drink the day."
Edith Wharton

6-24-2019 Monday-3:15am

I was  doing a little better and then woke up Friday with my knee a lot more painful and swollen.  I probably twisted it somehow either the day before or while I slept.  ??  My knee is so swollen it is hard to bend it and my foot still hurts from the gout so I am hobbling about like I have a peg leg.  Cat napping around the clock.  

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Caroline came to clean on Tuesday and she offered to bring me over a walker I could use.  (I was using one of my black plastic chairs to get around--the walker is easier to move that's for sure.)

Dagan and Leah have been taking good care of me and checking on me regularly.  But this weekend it is even difficult for me to walk very far at all.  My day evolves around making trips to the bathroom because I am trying to drink lots of fluids,  Just feeding Annie is a huge project, let alone scooping the cat box.  It was Ian's 5th birthday party yesterday and Leah was planning on coming by tonight...so I didn't let them know I was worse.  I will later on.

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My huge challenge today will be to shower...and maybe try to make it back to the walk-in clinic to see if they can tell me what I did to my knee and why the gout is no better.  

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At the moment, I can't imagine walking all the way to the car in the first place or how I could get into Leah's high vehicle...I do have a small stool... 

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Sorry I don't have anything better or new to tell you.   I think I may just wait to come back to blog when I do have something.  Right now I am going to try to doze again for a little while.  Be back when I have something to report.  :) :)

6-17-2019 Monday-9am

Good morning.

Well, I went to the walk-in clinic to get the x-rays on my foot and knuckle.  

Didn't show any obvious fractures or osteoarthritis problems.  So, he thought it was likely gout because that doesn't show up on x-rays.

Usually starts in the big toe where mine was all three middle toes and a knuckle.  I also had some swelling in that ankle and knee--edema?  So he told me to stay off my feet, take ibuprofen, and use ice packs for ten days.

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Leah stopped by a CVS to pick me up some ibuprofen.  (Mine had expired in 2004--LOL!) 

So, I've basically been trapped in my chair since--with the burning, painful foot and then adding a swollen knee that also makes it hurt like hell to walk. 

I'm not sure what I did to make the knee worse.  Could have been just the awkward, painful positions they put you in for the x-rays and I twisted it?  Leah lent me some ice packs--one larger, heavier one.  When I saw my knee was more swollen (makes me think twisting it getting x-rays as it was already more swollen and painful) I put that heavier ice pack on it and fell asleep.  Woke up to it being much worse.  Annie might have laid on the knee, too.  I forgot to put a pillow over my leg to keep her off of me.  Regardless, I am hobbling about and mostly in my recliner with ice packs or the heating pad.  (He did mention I could try heat, too--neither of them are doing much but they both feel good--LOL!)

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On Friday Leah and Ian went to Baker Nursery for me and sent me pictures of flowers to choose from.  Then they came back here to plant my patio for me.  :)  Ian has new duck garden gloves I wanted to get a picture of.

He said I needed to get the back of them, too.   

They planted, set up the new hose (old one broke late last fall), and lastly Leah sprayed for voles.   

McFamily has them, too, a mile away.  Vole population explosion around here.  They're digging up lawns something awful.  The spray is a repellent made from castor oil and soap.

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Anyways, I filmed a little of Leah and Ian working out there...wishing I could have been more a part of it.  
Next year.  :)

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Leah took pictures for me for the blog when they were done,

My new hose is red and came with a new sprayer. 

Not that I've been able to go out and use it.  I don't dare try to walk across the big rocks out there to get to the faucet, to be honest.  Just getting to the bathroom or the kitchen is an ordeal.  I haven't even been able to make it down for mail.

Thank goodness it has been cloudy and drizzly off and on ever since Friday... 

...but I will need to have Leah come over to water them.

Sad, but true. 

Looks so nice!!
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You may recall Leah had picked me up some red geraniums and these begonias that I had in the bedroom for a few weeks. 

In the four longer planter boxes we also added some marigolds (Ian picked out)... 

,,,and some "Hypoestes" or White Splash? (Never had these before) 

Then in my two round pots I planted two different kinds of coleus.

 This one is wild looking, eh?  LOL!

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Leah made it over to work on cards earlier in the week.  She got the red card stock cut and folded for card bases...which I thought I might work on last week--but, honestly, it hurts too much to move around any more than I have to.  Maybe this week...
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So that's it from Fargo.  I think my words for the week have been patience and endurance. I do so hope to be feeling better by next week.  :) :)
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"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.  It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."
Carl Jung

6-10-2019 Monday-9:30am

Good morning.  This will be very brief.  I came down with a 101 degree temperature Wednesday through Friday.  Finally felt more human by Sunday...BUT.  Why is there always a but lately?  I can't remember if I had mentioned it in the last couple of weeks but I have had swelling and pain in my left foot.  I know I had hit the toes really hard on something--bed frame?  Anyways, I figured either I had maybe broken a toe or it set off arthritis or something.  Been bothering me for weeks.

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And meanwhile...I also smacked the back of my hand near a knuckle quite a while back, too.  Had a small scab that dropped off, but I noticed some soreness around that knuckle, too.  Nothing much.

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Well, since I got sick they have both gotten much worse.  Especially my foot.  More swollen and painful...hurts to step on it.  Being sick must have set off the inflammation.  Odds are it is arthritis, but I could have fractured my foot or broken a toe--who knows?  I'll find out this afternoon.  Leah is going to bring me to the walk-in clinic.  (That feels like a bad pun at the moment--LOL!)

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Being sick I had to cancel my re-certification appointment down at the office on Thursday, buying flowers, planting flowers, and Gramma Day.  So I have a rescheduled appointment in the office for all the paperwork at 11am this morning.  Leah will let me know when they are done with lunch over there and can come and pick me up.  So that is how things are going this past week--LOL!

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It was crazy hot in the 90s.  I saw 97 on Friday--while I was inside with the AC on, alternately roasting and freezing--LOL!  

We had rain a couple of times.

By Sunday it cooled down and was a beautiful day where I could open the place up again. 

Annie was thrilled! 

She's still been on vole patrol. 

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Was 13 years ago today that I started blogging.  I began blogging because, as you know, I am a letter writer but my health had been so bad for such a long stretch that I hadn't even been able to write letters very often.  And I had moved away up here to Fargo-Moorhead from Minneapolis with Dagan (only person I knew up here) and this was back when it cost a fortune for long distance calls.  I knew just a few people (family and friends) who had computers.  By blogging I could write one letter to all of them at the same time.  (Why I have always labeled my blogs like I start all my letters--date, day and time.)  Then I'd only have to hand write to the people who didn't own computers.  That is why I started blogging.  Lack of spoons for letter writing--LOL!

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Of course, later on I could write letters again but I kept on blogging.  Thirteen years have flown by in a way.  You may have noticed that I have never updated the look of my blog.  It's the same as it has been from when I started.  Just a place for me to write my letter--with pictures.  Who knew it would become a more public letter--that I would meet friends from around the world--and that some of us exchange private handwritten letters--for years!!  You all have become my blogger-family!  What a world we live in.  :)

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Well, I have to leave pretty soon for the re-certification appointment...and then go find out about my foot.  Always something, eh?  ;)  Till the next weekly letter...

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"Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous."

Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

6-3-2019 Monday-11:45am

Good morning!

Was a busier week.  On Tuesday I decided to do a simple, quick project...that took me most of the day--LOL!  Whenever I think a craft project is going to be easy it ends up taking way more time than expected.  Leah is the same way--LOL!

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Wanted to make up some "stationery" and decided to cut apart these (very stinky) botanical border stamps I finally got from New Zealand (through Amazon ordered in March, I believe).  Well, that was quite a project in itself--LOL!  They were so sticky that both my exacto knife with a new blade and my rotary cutter were total fails.  Finally got them apart using a scissors.  Had a sheet of acetate to store them on and picked out some of the Versa Magic ink pads that don't bleed through.  I had to scrub the stamps with soapy water before they would work--but when they did... 

...I liked them.  First I used the shorter ones where I had to stamp four times across the bottom of a writing tablet sheet. 

These first ones were a huge test for bleed through as they are the ends of a couple of Tomoe River paper tablets.  I have fallen in love with those Versa Magic ink pads!

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This time I was watching Miss Marple on Acorn TV.  Was in the mood for some cozy murder mysteries.

As long as I had everything out I made up four or five sheets with each stamp.  And as I went along I made up a sheet of card stock to show me what they actually look like when I go to use them next time.   

I finished up the Tomoe River tablets. 

With the last two I had started to use the longer stamps where I only had to stamp two across the bottom. 

Those were easier to stamp.  I got out a Clairfontaine tablet (thicker paper than Tomoe River) and went to town with the longer stamps . 

So, I have some more homemade stationery. 

Was worth the trouble because I do like botanical stamps.  Even if a few of these are quite abstract, I liked them. 

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Wednesday was the DMV.  Leah planned to drive around while I was in there so Liam could take his afternoon nap.  Ian is out of preschool now for the summer.  He wanted to go with me.  :)

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I am SOOOO glad I had an appointment!!  The place was so packed people were waiting outside in the entryway!  But I didn't have to wait long at all.  And he didn't seem to care I was 60 days late, either.  All going fantastically, right?  Then came the glitch.  My own fault.  I didn't realize that they would only accept the originals for your birth certificate and marriage license.  So--had to make a trip home and go back again.  But he said to just come right up to his window...so it didn't take long that time, either, for Ian and I.  Done and dusted...texted Leah...and went outside to wait.

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It was even more crowded by that time.  People were outside waiting.  I heard they were told there was a two hour wait!!  So even with my screwing up and having to drive home and back again we were still done in a quarter of the time.  I'd never go without an appointment again.  And I will try not to be so late, either.  :)

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I texted Leah and we waited outside under this beautiful tree that was shedding blossoms in the wind.

Ian pulled a flower off, which I told him he shouldn't do--just let them fall off naturally.  Leah didn't hear the text, so we spent some time under the tree. 

Gave me time to remember pictures.  Ian was tossing the flower up and into the wind and then finding it again and again. 

He brought it with to give to Mama.  On the way to my place there was something crawling on Ian's pants.  He was being careful not to smush it.  After they dropped me off they stopped to go shopping and Leah took these pictures. 

It was the teeniest baby inchworm!  So cute!  Was on his car seat buckle by that time.  You'll probably have to click to enlarge the pictures to see it--LOL!

They coached him on to the flower... 

...and left the flower on the roof of the car. 

It had blown away by the time they came out.  We hope the teeny inch worm is okay.

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Wednesday Leah came over for a Craft Nite.  She made the invites for Ian's birthday party in June.  We were talking paper most of the evening.  Found Neenah white cardstock for really cheap on Amazon pantry...if it really is #110 card stock, it will be quite the deal!  (Some people complained it wasn't #110 as advertised.)  Leah is going to order that because she can send it back if it isn't what it says. 

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Then we ended up on an online search for good quality colored card stock for cheaper.  Found a company Jennifer McGuire used to use called Papertrey Ink.  Really good deals and supposed to be #110, too.  So I ordered the sample set of all their colors and the sample set of their colored shimmer paper.  We can hardly wait for them to get here!  If they are as good as they sound we will make a big order of many colors!!

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We have seldom used colored card bases because the paper gets too expensive when we are making about 100 Christmas and 50 birthday card sets.  This will be such fun!!

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I had a Gramma Day on Saturday and Ian and I Marie Kondo'd his bookcase!  Took everything out and piled it all on the kitchen table.  Then cleaned and sorted it all!   

I wanted him to be a part of it so he knows where everything is...and where to putt it back--LOL!

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Then we watched some PJMasks till it was time to go home for dinner.

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Leah has back issues, too, and she brought over her leg wedge pillow for me to try.  I did.  For two hours.  It was good for my legs but I just can't lie flat on my back anymore--not even with my legs raised up.  I'd need a wedge pillow for lifting up my torso, too.  Like a homemade adjustable bed--LOL!  At least that didn't set my back off for more than a day--whoohoo!  Potential, I'd say.

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Today--Caroline is getting my groceries and will be here shortly so I need to move and clear off the table.  Leah is planning to try to make it for a Craft Nite tonight.  I got a call from the Goldark office and they claim they didn't realize they had to do a full-on re-certification every year for my rent reduction.  (I just did one for Federal Housing.)  I have never had to bring the past six months of my bank statements before...good grief.  They want copies of everything.  So I need to spend another afternoon finding and copying paperwork for an appointment in the office here at 11am on Thursday.

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Thursday afternoon we are going to Baker Nursery to buy flowers!!!  And Friday afternoon we are planting on the patio!!!  So looking forward to having some color out there.  And I don't have much time to tell you about the vole!  There's a vole that is nearby and runs across my patio here and there.  Annie is on alert ever since she caught sight of it.

She isn't even eating half the food she was.  Spending all her time at the patio door...watching...waiting.  I guess it is the one thing she misses from her days on the street.  Killing.

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Well, that's it for this week, my friends.  We've already had a couple 90 degree days in May!  Again tomorrow, I think.  This could be a long hot summer.  No time to proofread...till next week...  :) :)

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"Be happy for this moment.  

This moment is your life."

Omar Khayyam