Tuesday-11am

Rainy, cloudy, and thunderstorms all Memorial Weekend...but we had a brief respite when the sun valiantly attempted to make an appearance for a couple hours yesterday.    

 See!  I have proof!  LOL!

 Sorry--I can't remember now whose blog it was this weekend where they were writing about having an art block--but I realized that I had come up to a complete brick wall and I either had to climb up and over or go around.

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Around.  It occurred to me--why not just leave that first page and start my first page spread.  I have been watching all these various artist's videos and they often have several journals going at the same time and jump around from this one to that one.  Several even have two out when they are working so they can slap leftover paint onto pages on the second journal. My OCD self is fascinated, but shuddery.  

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One of the first "looser" things I have ever done was working on the bookmarks.  The bookmarks were an offshoot from the watercolor class I took at the art museum up here a decade ago.  We made a painting where we used real leaves and saran wrap!  Honestly?  Blew my little OCD mind.  I was so proud of myself on so many levels that I framed it!

We also did one where we put a lot of wet paint down, some gold dabs on last, scrunch up saran wrap on top, press it down, and let it dry overnight.  Scary.  No control, but I loved it! 

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I've done bookmark making sessions using that uncontrollable saran wrap technique several times in the years since then.  Sold some, given most of them away...but I can use a sheet of watercolor paper, experiment, and then cut up the best bits for bookmarks.  Small.  I like to work small. 

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So, anyways--back to going around the wall.  I was thinking...gesso.  I see all these people using gesso on their pages as a base and then using acrylics on top.  I thought--well, lady--you didn't have Dagan and Leah haul in the acrylic paint supplies for nothing.  How about trying something completely new on that big page spread?

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*shudder shudder*

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Aha!  I could start out smaller!  Remember in my handmade 5X7 art journal (where I've been just doing backgrounds) I gessoed a page spread white and another one black?  I could practice on a smaller scale!

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I actually painted some blobs of yellow and blue on the white background and used the baby wipes to smear it around.  Realized that I had used white acrylic paint and not gesso, but did my best to be smeary.  ;) 

 Took a picture after it dried by the window and it looks much more blue than green.  My camera shifts colors a lot.  My first attempt with acrylics and I think it's a quite acceptable smeary background.

 So last night I dug out the jar of real white gesso.  I've had it for years and it seemed a bit runny, but worked okay, I think.  I'll find out if it is smoother than the white acrylic I used by accident on the little green art journal.

This page spread looks frighteningly humongous to me!  I may end up doing one side at a time...but I have taken a step around the wall--LOL!  I expect my first efforts to be pretty bad, but if I don't like something...just open up another page, right?

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Confession.

I feel like a non-swimmer getting ready to jump in the deep end of the pool when I have barely learned how to hang onto the side of the shallow end and paddle my feet.  I've never even let go on the shallow end!  I'm a little bit nauseous just writing this.  

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I wonder why it scares me so?  Feels like some deep past life thing, to be honest.  I know it's not from this life...honestly, have never been discouraged.  Encouraged, in fact!  So I know it makes no logical sense...but this fear grabs me by the throat and makes me feel my life is in danger if I step across some invisible line.  ??  Has always happened to me with art and writing...and getting up in front of groups of people.

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Anyways, thanks to everyone who offered help with Mr. Linky.  :)  Jennifer told me that I could enter my bookmarks late in this week's challenge!  She said that the challenges are only suggestions and that any kind of creative artwork would be fine to enter.  So, I made it up and over the Mr. Linky wall, anyways--LOL!  Not that computer stuff does that irrational fear thing to me.  With computers it's more like being lost in the woods near a town, stumbling around--you know you'll either find your way out on your own or somebody will hear you calling for help--more frustrating and baffling than scary.  ;) 

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Looks like it's going to rain again.  I slept late this dark morning.  One of those really good mornings where pain didn't drive me out of bed and if I didn't move I could drift back to sleep.  Glorious!  I've got clothes ready to go in the dryer and more for the washer, so I'd better get moving.

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Happy Tuesday!

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"Life does not accommodate you; it shatters you.  Every seed destroys its container, or else there would be no fruition."

Florida Scott-Maxwell