August 2, 2021 Monday--10:30am

Good Monday morning!

The week that was.  

One surgery down.  A couple pajama days.  A few naps.  Visit from McFamily.  All went well.  This coming week I only have a quick covid test on Wednesday...and test results of the biopsy.

I had my apartment inspection on Wednesday morning.  He was 15 minutes early and rushed through pressing smoke alarms, flushing the toilet, and checking the patio door locks...and out he went.  

Dagan came by after work to do a quick dumpster and garage run for me.  I'd almost cried getting the bag out of the trash can from shooting pain in my thumb so I didn't want to try and lift that self-same bag up almost over my head to get it in the dumpster.  (They have told me to call them for things like that if I am having troubles--but you hate to, you know?)  

Anyways, he said Microsoft wanted him to put the new laptop back to factory settings to see if that cured the non-charging issue.  It didn't.  Have to return it.  Thank goodness they kept my old one so I had this one as backup.  I may have to hit 2 or 3 times to get the mouse to respond but at least it works.  :)

Miss Annie loves it when I have been up earlier and she gets extra sun without having to lay between the blinds and the patio doors--LOL!

She still keeps an eye out for critter visitors.

And what did I tell you!  

The geese brought friends!

Had seventeen here Wednesday.  Luckily they came to mow with the riding mower and he scared them off--LOL!  That pesky guy told Leah he is annoyed by the geese, too--so maybe he's not putting out bread so often.  I haven't seen them every morning...but then I don't have the blinds open on pajama days--ROFL!

The lone partridge seems to have teamed up...

...with the couple who lost all their babies.

I see three partridges together a lot lately.  That's nice.

****

Thursday was the big day with the liver biopsy.    Leah came in with me.  While we were waiting for me to be called I asked her to take a couple pictures comparing my two thumbs since I can't do that by myself.  You can see how the right one has changed shape.  Used to be straight up from my wrist like the left one.  Now it has hard protrusions around that joint at the base.  The tip is curving backwards (that first joint is effected, too) and it is generally a bit fatter and swollen.

Wasn't too bad that morning and not very red, but you can see how the shape is changing.

When the joints are bad (hands and feet) they get more swollen and red and hurt constantly.  But even when my thumb isn't as red and swollen (like above) it doesn't want to do what it used to do without screaming obscenities at me--LOL!

The biopsy went really well.  Leah stayed and kept me company in my own private tiny waiting room.

Once they have you all hooked up and BPcuffed and all that you wait till they are ready for you.  The procedure itself was quick (25-30 minutes) and then you wait around for two hours afterwards.  So I was really glad Leah was there to keep me company.

I was given something through the IV to relax me and it sure did.  I could hear everything they said while they were prepping me.  I had my right arm taped up over my head and then...was so funny...had no idea my liver comes up right under the right side of my right boob!  They had to tape my boob up and out of the way...needed extra tape--LOL!  I guess that was where the one mass was that was the easiest to get to.  

Was kind of like when you get novocaine for the dentist.  You know stuff is going on but you can't feel any actual pain.  Easy peasy...more or less.  Much less stressful than when I had my cataract surgery--for me, anyways.  

They had me on a CT Scan table as backup in case they needed it, but they were able to use the ultrasound machine just fine to see where to poke the needle so I never went into the CT Scanner.  Were quite a few people there, but between the surface numbing & antibiotic stuff they slather all over the area and the drugs they give you I was so relaxed that I felt my back pain and all my other body pains just drift away--ahhh!  That was wonderful!!  LOL!

I heard the clicks when he got the samples.  Got four of them.  I may have dozed off at some points but I wasn't aware of it.  I felt really quite alert afterwards and only slightly groggy--like I did after cataract surgery.  In fact, I was able to get up off the bed easier afterwards.  May have been due to more pain medication--LOL!  Because I ached all over, hurt under my boob on the side there, and felt a bit like crap later after the meds wore off.  

Anyways, I chose to walk down to meet Leah out front instead of using a wheelchair because I really needed to stretch out all my bones and muscles.  The nurse walked with me to make sure I was okay, of course.  Leah came in for a while to make sure I was okay and she made me something to eat.  Then she left and I took a nap for three hours.

With all that going on...I was lucky late afternoon to snag me one of the new TWSBI Swipe fountain pens that came out that very day.  I had planned for it and hoped I'd be alert enough to get one before they were sold out.  Got a prussian blue EF one from Goulet Pens.  Can hardly wait to show you!  TWSBI has never made a FP with a cartridge or a converter before.  Something new for them.  So that was exciting!

Then Leah came back that night with food and she even made some more food here, too!  I am set for probably all week.  She even watered my indoor plants for me.  :)

I was asleep early and up early on Friday.  Felt less all-over pain after the nap and sleeping all night.  Back to my normal pain level mostly.  :)

Leah brought over Costco groceries and I didn't even have to put them away as she came in and did that for me.  Am I spoiled, or what?!

Total pajama days Friday and Saturday...ahhh!  

Yesterday I got a short visit from McFamily--the entire crew!  The boys did mazes for a while and then got into some jigsaw puzzles Ian hasn't done for probably two years or more.  

Liam intently watches his big brother.

Then Daddy and I helped Liam put one of the puzzles together, too.  He was getting the hang of it pretty quickly.  Liam is about the age Ian was when he got into puzzles heavily for a while.  Helping his Great Grandma with her puzzle (see last post) must have gotten Ian interested in digging out jigsaws again.  ;)

Leah and Liam watered the planters.  The boys ran down the sidewalk to the big cottonwood tree and back.  Ian made another run down to the tree with Daddy before they left...and Ian stopped back specifically to get a big goodbye hug from Gramma.  Dagan got a Mommy hug, too--LOL!

****

Oh, one crazy thing...I got a comment on last week's blog from some lady (who has no blog or website, of course) who said right off she was from the US...but then wrote in occasionally broken English...telling me her "personal" story of how she took this drug/supplement/whatever from this certain doctor that cured her of cancer...and here's the link (I did not click).  Her post is not on my blog.  Glad I moderate.  Pretty sad that you can get cancer spam.  What a world, eh?  

I'll admit I am honestly not looking forward to the biopsy results.  I am not expecting good news since I had blood in my urine twice over a year ago (said were UTIs, gave me antibiotics) so I have probably had this for a long time.  The bleeding subsided for months and then started up again as soon as I got the covid vaccine shots.  So, another reason to be glad I got the vaccine.  Might not have had any more bleeding and never found out this wasn't just UTIs or stones.   

Anyways, this is going to be a nice quiet almost normal housebound week for me.  Except for the ornery, screaming thumb...a Qtip up the nose...and biopsy results--LOL!  But I really, really do try to take each day as it comes.  I am grateful for all you wonderful people with your positive energy and prayers...that I am safe and cool in my apartment I love...Annie is doing okay...McFamily is my greatest joy and biggest help (how did I ever deserve them)...I will get the medical help I need...that I have a stack of letters to write to people who are patient with my true snail mail...I got Grandpa's desk organized...and I have a new TWSBI pen probably arriving this week--whoohoo!  It's all good.  It's all good.  In the long run, it's all going to be good.

Has anybody watched Your Honor?  The British version of Life On Mars?  Still Game?  Jack Irish?  So much to watch, so little time.  But I have more time with the bum-thumb--LOL!  Should that count as a silver lining?  Reluctantly?  LOL!

Have a really sweet week.  :) :)

****

"To be hopeful means to be uncertain about the future, to be tender towards possibilities, to be dedicated to change all the way down to the bottom of your heart."

Rebecca Solnit

July 27, 2021 Tuesday--8:15am

Good morning!

Yesterday I was at the clinic doing the pre-op lab work and then Leah and the boys stayed for a visit so I never got around to blogging.  When I have medical appointments on Mondays I will likely always have to switch to Tuesdays for the blog. 

Anyways, ever since the storm that blew in the Canadian geese they have been around every day because that lonely guy down the way in my building feeds them bread.

They're beautiful birds.  I like to visit them.  But I don't want them visiting me.  And it's not because they can be aggressive at times (which they can be--large birds who know it--generally not intimidated by humans) but because of the endless gross, slippery poop situation they leave in their wake.  

There was a pond right next to our parking lot where I worked one time...let's just say if you have never slipped and landed on a sea of goose poop you are fortunate.  The guys used to go out on breaks to spin their cars around in the parking lot in the middle of the night (yes, I worked graveyard shift)...sliding with delight on the slimy layer of poop.  Yes, there can be so much of it your tires have a hard time gripping the pavement.  Plus geese do not usually care to move for anybody or anything--and they were all up and wandering about again by morning--so you had wait for them to move to creepy crawl with occasionally slipping tires in order to get out of the parking lot to go home.  Car horns don't phase them, either.

You may remember the goose with the broken wing four years ago.  Yes, I put out water and some food sometimes...but that was an animal in crisis.  (Which was caught and brought to a farm to heal.)  I had to buy a scrubber brush to clean off the patio--every day.  She'd sit and drink water and poop at the same time--LOL!  So, you'll pardon me if I don't want eight of them pooping in the grass that McFamily has to walk across to visit me (so they don't have to wear masks or be exposed to the many possible covid germs in the building)--LOL!  

But!

I have had a visitor I was excited to see.  Got a quick poor shot of a ground squirrel!  So happy to see one again.

There was a grown cottontail, too.  This one can certaily reach the marigolds--LOL!

Well, I want to say a huge thanks to everyone who has stopped by for kind words, well wishes and prayers.  New folks, too!!  And thanks to each of you who took the time to send a card or letter or private email!  I can't tell you how much it means to me in this stressful time.  Thanks so much!!

Tuesday was a pajama day, for sure.  I am getting in as many of them as I am able lately.  ;)

Wednesday was my pre-op visit with Dr. King.  It was her very first day (but she had been a nurse for years).  She was really nice--we chatted and laughed.  I definitely wouldn't mind seeing her if I couldn't get Dr. Kessler.  I have been getting really lucky with doctors lately.  ;)

Dagan stopped by after work with my old laptop (had not done anything to it yet so it was still good to go).  Oh, tried the new laptop cord and it still wouldn't charge and said 6%--plugged in.  Newer laptop, too.  Already had a different issue--must have gotten a lemon.  Microsoft Surface, I believe.  Anyways--all under warranty, I hope.  I think Dagan and Leah will end up sending it back for a replacement.  Microsoft wanted them to go through more testing--but I needed one that was working.  So I am back to the old problems with the old computer--LOL!  But it is working, at least.

My hours have been altered--due to falling asleep in the daylight hours and things like Annie barfing at 4am.  But it is good that I have been up way earlier than my normal hours because I have an 8:15am apartment inspection tomorrow and then have to be at the hospital at 7am on Thursday for the biopsy.  Whew!  My night owl self is all out of whack--LOL!

Starting on Thursday I was working on gathering writing supplies for Grandpa's desk again.  Leah had previously helped me with the two sizes of white envelopes in the bottom drawer when the drawer dividers first came.

We're going to have to change our Thursday Craft Nites because their schedule has changed.  Last week it was Friday night.  I had done a load of laundry, brought out trash, watered planters, and finally set up letters I owe in my padfolios (but haven't gotten much farther than that yet).  Leah came over and she was doing all kinds of things to save my hands.  (That girl should have wings, I tell you!)  She did the dead heads in the planters, vacuumed, made ice cubes, and made some chaffles I can reheat in the toaster.  She helped me put away all the colored envelopes I had gathered together from various spots.  (I know it doesn't look it but those ones on the right are cream colored.)

The two bottom drawers are deeper but not deep enough to even stand an envelope up.  The top two are even shallower.  We got in the kraft envelopes on the left side that night.  I filled the other slots with various printed stationery papers...

...and the top drawer, too.  Have room to spare even.  Good because I know I have some more stationery someplace...lol!

Even got the top fold-down section with the cubbies filled with writing paper and mostly cleaned up.  I may be very slow, but I keep plugging away.  Do as much as my hand joints and back will let me and then rest up for the next go-round--LOL!  I'm loving the desk!!

On Saturday I saved a bee that was drowning in the shallow water dish on the patio.  Tipped it into the planter and the bee climbed up the coleus, cleaned itself off, and fly away.  It was a big bumblebee--the pretty kind.  I may be really scared of them (and wasps), but I want to help the bees out and am glad to see them here at the flowers.

Leah said she didn't think I'd be up for a Gramma Day this weekend and she was right.  Saturday and Sunday--totally R&R.  Sunday was a pajama day, to be honest.

Then Monday I had the labwork done for pre-op.  Leah and the boys came in to visit afterwards for a while.  :)  Leah and Liam went out to water my planters.  Liam made a beeline for my new chair.

He watered for a very short while but it was too hot for him (90-something and thickly humid) so he headed inside.

Ian had made his beeline for their bookcase.  (I was going to say his bookcase, but now it is actually both his and Liam's.)  He was busy cutting out a monster he had previously drawn.

Liam went right over to see what big brother was up to, of course.

I looked up and that old guy had made his beeline over to my patio because he saw the boys go by with Leah from his apartment.  He had pencils for the boys--apparently remembered they don't get candy--but also had some kind of candy, too.  Leah politely took the two pencils. 

We decided to quarantine them and didn't tell the boys who were too busy to notice that guy was there talking to Mama or that he gave her anything--LOL!

Yes, I feel badly for the guy but I have to say he is most annoying because he has no social skills or boundaries, you know?  This is an entire apartment complex of old people (yes--me, too, even if I don't feel old inside) and I am sure many of them are very lonely...but they don't accost people minding their own business, you know?  And people say hi to kids or dogs but they don't hang around forever bothering them.  He needs a girlfriend or a guy to hang with--something--ROFL!  But I am not in the running and I don't like him bothering Leah and the boys.  Oh well.  Just glad Liam had already gone in because it was too hot.  ;)

I have been getting some really special artwork from the boys recently.  Liams "love you to pieces" heart on top.  And he keeps adding to his rainbow picture below it every time he is here--now it is earth and sky and meteors.

Ian had been into hand cutting out his art lately.  The bottom one is a person (Ian, I assume) with hearts all over him for me and above is the 12-eyed monster with 8 tentacles he cut out yesterday for my frig.

The boys love to play with my magnets and had quite a time with them yesterday.  I could use another set of them--LOL!

Leah took a picture of the geese crossing the road.  This happens quite often on the back streets here near me.  Most of them nest and hang out by the water a few blocks away from me.  

So much noisy construction may be driving them to find a more peaceful place to spend some time.

Oh--senior moment!  Now I can't remember what electrical surge caused Dagan and Leah's microwave to not have as much power?  A storm?  Can't remember.  Anyways, they have needed a new one for quite a while--pandemic and all put it on hold.  Their stove was having issues, too.

They finally were able to get new ones!

That microwave looks half the size of the old one--LOL!

So exciting to have appliances that work!

The park has this water puddle fountain that looks like a blast for the kids!  What better place to be when it is in the 90s?! 

 

Ian and...

...Liam.

Ian inside the fountain spray.

Leah and the boys also visited their great grandparents.  Leah's grandma had been working on this 1000 piece puzzle for ages and had gotten frustrated with the last bit of sky and quit a while back.  Ian and Leah finished it up for her and she was very happy!

So, that's it from Fargo for this past week.  I have the apartment inspection early tomorrow and then the biopsy early Thursday.  Leah is going to be with me for the surgery.  She'll stay with me for a while to make sure I'm all functional and everything.    

The covid test got moved to August 4th.  Better to have only one thing to deal with a day--LOL!  I think I already had changed that on here last time.  So many appointments and changes so quickly that day while I was chatting with you.  I had to double check at the clinic if I went for the covid test there or at the hospital next week--LOL!  Clinic.  Nice.  Much less busy than the hospital.

I've never had a covid test.  I'll let you know what the Q-tip up the nose is like, too--LOL!  

Hopefully I will sleep through the biopsy.  That's pretty likely as I know I won't get much sleep the next couple nights.  Fine with me.  I hope to show up yawning and not remember much afterwards.  ;)  Nobody likes surgery.  Well, I'm sure there's some masochist someplace who absolutely loves surgeries.  Never make blanket statements, right?  Never say never.  Never say always.  ;)

In the meantime--today--nothing but laundry.  Hallelujah!!  Every day I can just be home feels like a blessing these days.  

If I have appointments it can change my Monday blogging schedule.  My bladder surgery is on a Monday (Aug 9th) so I don't even know if I will be doing a regular blog on Tuesday that week.  Depends on how fast I recover, you know?  If I am not up to one of my normal (face it they are always long) posts I will try to at least give you a heads up that I am alive and kicking by Tuesday.  But this next week--ahh!  Only a quick covid test on Wednesday.  Whoohoo!  Love it!

Meanwhile--I look both ways before I put out any seed because the goose family can come running as fast as they can waddle from almost a block away--LOL!  And they don't even like bird seed much and act disappointed...but they force themselves to eat it, of course.  I do manage to find times of day I can put out a little seed for the rest of the critters at some point most days.  The geese need to leave and go back to their swimming supply of water several times a day.  ;)

Thanks for all your kindness.  I will be thinking of you all on Thursday.  Bless you!

****

"You belong.  Everywhere.  Yes, you--with all your history, anxiety, pain.  Yes, everywhere--in every culture, community, circumstance.  You belong in this body.  You belong in this very moment.  You belong in this breath...and this one.  You have always belonged."

Sebene Selassie

July 20, 2021 Tuesday--6:30am

 Good early morning!

As soon as I said I hadn't seen any rabbits since last winter...

...there was a baby cottontail on the patio!  

What a cutie pie!

Looked too small to reach the flowers, but they can stretch quite a bit when they want to.  And where there is one rabbit...LOL!

So that may well be the flower munchers--cottontails!  I wish they would eat them up if they chew them off.  *sigh*

The news wasn't good this past week, but you know how I like to go chronologically.

I did have a Gramma Day with Ian on Tuesday...the day I saw the cottontail.  Ian played briefly with the new supplies...geometric shape stencils and a larger helix circle maker...

...but he seemed a bit tired, I think, from the tennis and golfing in the heat.  Watched some of his current favorite show (seems to change every time I see him-lol!) and we watched YouTube videos of baby birds sped up from eggs to leaving the nest.  Was a laid back Gramma Day.  :)

Wednesday I made soup.  Thursday I did laundry, hauled out trash, and Leah came in the evening.  She mostly worked on figuring out why my laptop is not charging.  It is at 6%...plugged in...and shuts down completely every so often so that I have to let it rest.  (Another reason to start blogging early besides the painful joints in my hands--lol!)  Anyways--Leah did online support, battery is good, apparently...so ordered a new charging cord.  Leah also cut my hair so I wouldn't look so straggly for the hospital.

Friday I had the MRI.  A strange experience--lol!  Earplugs & headphones--and they must have chosen "60s bubblegum music for the 70 year old" to play softly in my ears--ROFL!  A big plastic board of sorts was strapped on my belly and they put a bulb shaped thing in my left hand that I could squeeze if I wanted o-u-t.  There was a lot of "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in and hold your breath" while the machine made a variety of noises. One sounded like a maniac pounding crazily on a door.  Most were a series of odd clicking sounds.  Sometimes the table felt hot.  I kept my eyes closed and tried to relax as much as one can while following directions on when to hold your breath and not thinking about the fact you're in a tube inches from your face--lol!  Had an IV that shot dye in my arm at one point--didn't sting for long, but did at the beginning for a quick bit.  The entire experience took around half an hour.  Was not as bad as I expected...but I was really ready to be out of there by the end.  

Leah and the boys dropped me off at home.  Later Leah came over to water the planters for me and Liam asked to come with.  He seems to enjoy watering my planters with the red sprayer hose.

I was more exhausted by the MRI than I thought.  Fell asleep from 7:30-10:30pm!  And I just spent the weekend relaxing, resting my hands, and--Leah was right--I was too shot for a Gramma Day.

Yesterday was the new urologist and the results of the MRI.  Leah left the boys with Dagan and came in with me this time.  (Dagan needs to use up some of his vacation time and that's a good thing with everything going on with me, I guess--a silver lining?)

The urologist was a lady doctor and was very nice.  Not great news, though.  I have three small masses in my liver.  One looks benign, but the other two look different.  Could be the cancer has spread to my liver so I need to get a biopsy (needle in the stomach).  That's a separate procedure that will reveal if the cancer has metastasized.  The needle bit hasn't been set up yet, but will probably be soon.

Meanwhile, I need the tumor/mass scraped off my bladder.  Then they will be able to see whether it has gone into the wall, what kind of cancer it is, etc.  I will be put under for that one--hallelujah!  They may also fill my bladder with some medicine/chemical stuff for an hour afterwards (catheter) depending on what the cancer looks like.  They didn't say whether I would be awake for the super full bladder time or not.  Hope not, but what can you do.

Long run--worst case scenario--if the cancer turns out to be bad/inoperable and/or spreading...they may have to remove the bladder.  Don't even want to think about that, to be honest.

There will be more trips in for pre-op stuff.  That's it so far.

There are no conclusions until I have the surgeries as to what will need to be or be able to be done.

I am still just absorbing it all.

By the time Leah and I were leaving the hospital there was a sudden (totally unexpected by the weather folks and apps--0% chance of rain) thunderstorm with wild winds and lashing rain.  Just getting from the car to the front door of the building here I was totally soaked--LOL!  We need the rain and I actually wished it had lasted a lot longer.

It stirred up the Canadian geese who live a couple blocks away, I guess.  Look what the storm brought in--LOL!  

Might have been a family with nearly grown young ones.

Supposed to be in the 90s for another week yet.  Every day.  My new chair won't get a lot of use--LOL!  Too dang hot and the air is almost wet with humidity.  Oh well.  This, too, shall pass, right?

I have a few pics from Leah to share, too.

I was telling her how France was lending the US a miniature statue of liberty--and she told me that we have one here on one of the bridges (to Minnesota).  What?!  I didn't know that.

She took a picture of it.  You might have to enlarge to see her.  I'll be darned!

With the delta variant spreading more and more in the US it makes me wonder how much longer it will be safe to have our bubbles?  Here are the boys with Uncle Aaron.

Or for the boys to be able to go to the playground (only a recent addition that may be short lived)...

...or for Ian to be able to go to things like his tennis class with the kids a couple times a week.

Liam goes along to watch with Mama.  Here he is with his shades and a beef stick snack.

I just read that now they are saying that children over two and even those who have been vaccinated (over 12, I believe) should wear masks to school.  Well then public places probably, too, right?  

I am very worried about all the unvaccinated people being okay.

Well, let's end on a lighter note...

Leah sent me pictures of her hanging watermelons!  I've never seen this done before--LOL!

She put them in these mesh bags you can hang on the trellis.  :)

So cute!  Could help them not get all icky on the ground side, I guess.  Anyways, I love it!

Well, by next week I should have the dates and times for all these appointments finalized.  Surgery will be on August 9th, though, and I have my pre-op appointment with a doctor tomorrow.  The hospital seems to be just packed with people.  Maybe a lot of people are getting things done they have put off?  Who knows.  But they have been very busy when I've been in there lately.  There was hardly a place to sit down in the radiology department waiting room when I was there and I had to wait 40 minutes to be called for my CT scan.  We haven't been hit with delta much yet up here.  But we have less than 40% vaccinated in North Dakota last I heard...so it could go badly here pretty soon.

Anyways, stay safe all you wonderful people.  I appreciate every positive thought, prayer, encouraging comment, and good vibe sent my way.  I have been so lucky to have met the best people online over these years I have been blogging...and some new ones now, too.  I just hope I can manage to stay in touch once they eliminate the follow by email.  I don't want to lose you all!  But if I am not commenting quite as much lately even while I still can it is due to a combination of the painful hands, wonky eyes, and cancer-shock to be honest.  But I'll still be reading and posting and doing my best to keep up.  :)

Just got the call...pre-op appt tomorrow, lab pre-op 26th, and pre-op covid test Aug 4th,  Surgery on Aug 9th.  Different department to set up for needle in the stomach to biopsy the liver but it sounded like they would like to have that done before the bladder surgery so I will probably hear from them soon, too.  

I think today I desperately need a pajama day...calm and quiet.  Thinking healing thoughts. Cuddling with Annie.  Watching the birds and a good show or two.  That sounds really, really nice.  :) :) 

Bless you!!

****

"In the midst of gathering darkness, light becomes more evident."

Bonnie Bostrom

And right before I was going to hit post...

Okay, I am scheduled for the liver biopsy on the 29th at 7am.  Said it will take 4-5 hours!  That was a surprise.  It's more like when Dagan has heart caths and you aren't put totally under...but I'll be all groggy and need a ride she said.  For sure.  And since I was supposed to have my covid test that day she said to tell them about that and they can probably work it in while I am there for the biopsy so I don't have to come back or stick around.  Well, I should hope so.  

Okay....now....calm and quiet....calm and quiet....

Till next week.