Thursday-4:15am

We had a couple days of sunshine! But very cold again. Right now it is 15 below.

Karma's grass has gotten quite tall, as you can see. She keeps nibbling at it regularly, but she can't keep up with the growth--hehe! I just might have to trim it again--and save the cuttings for handmade paper, of course. ;) It always dies off eventually, but it did seem to fade away faster when I trimmed it, for some reason, so I am hesitant to dive in with the scissors. I have more seed, tho...so maybe I'll go wild--ROFL!

Obviously I am working my way around the clock again. I was worried about that because I had a dentist's appointment this morning, but I cancelled it. Not because I would have been so tired I might have fallen asleep in the chair (never!), but because my god-sent new worker figured out that I qualify for medical assistance (medicaid) and told me I should apply. My maximum payment would be $8.00 a month! Even if I went to the dentist once a week it would be just the $8.00 that month. (Told you I was poor--LOL!) AND that means I can switch and go to a dentist who takes medical assistance. She had a name for me--so I called and Dr. Coffey is still taking new patients--hurray! Now I just have to drive over to the old dental clinic and sign a release form in person so that they can mail my information over to my soon-to-be new dentist. Dagan and Leah suggested I wait till Friday because it is supposed to warm up some by then. (We've had dangerous wind chill warnings.)

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Dagan and Leah came over on Tuesday night. We hadn't seen each other for three weeks, so it was nice to catch up. I love them so much! And Mr. Dagan came up with something I have been milling on and chuckling about ever since. Has to do with my class and I'll tell you about it all soon. One more day and I'm done!! :):)

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Was six years ago February 7th that I moved in here. And Miss Karma was six years old on Saturday. Caroline was here to clean on Tuesday afternoon and said she's heard that people like this dentist Dr. Coffey. Nice! I am actually looking forward to being able to see the same dentist every time. I honestly can't remember if I have ever had the same dentist twice at the Family Health Care Dental Clinic (volunteer dentists from the area). You get tired of long explanations every time you go. Since my chipped tooth doesn't bother me, whenever I can get in is fine with me. :):)

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Medical Assistance may help for part of the eyedoctor this spring for my glaucoma check, too. And it helps with the regular doctor...if I ever decide to go to one again--hehe! I've only been seeing my rheumatologist for years (for the fibro and arthritis)--and it should help with him, too. I am just so happy to have some good news for once when it comes to medical stuff. ;)

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The kind of bad news is that they have discontinued Darvocet, as I think I mentioned. And the Tylenol with Codeine they wanted me to try gives me an upset stomach--even when I take it with food. So I had to let them know. All the other stronger pain meds are also related to morphine (which gives me nausea--even vomiting if I have it more than about the first 12 hours or so after surgery). So, what's left is Tramadol--which is what I was on for about four years that I had gotten more or less immune to and had to switch up to the Darvocet. Hummm...? Well, I haven't been taking pain pills every day since I weaned off of them this last year. Just take them here and there. So maybe the Tramadol will work again since I haven't taken it for a couple years? Maybe I will feel better and better--and not have to take pain pills hardly at all? Time will tell, right? :)

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Anyways, that's what has been happening up here. Right now, I am heading for bed. Just wanted to do a catch up and let you know Karma and I are safe and warm. ;) In the next day or two I hope to be back and have some time to tell you more about my own personal experience with the class. Till then--keep smiling!! :):)

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"Nothing is a waste of time if you use your experience wisely."

Auguste Rodin, 1840-1917

Friday-1:15pm

I thought Miss Karma needed a touch of spring so I drug in the frozen cat grass planter from the porch, let it defrost, planted some new cat grass seed, and set it up under a light on my craft table (since we didn't have any sun for many days).

Where have I been all these days? I have been right here, of course--diligently focused on my online class. I wake up (am on days now--tada!), no TV, and just start in on the class. I take laptop breaks in my comfy chair so that I can pretty much keep up with blogs and emails. I have been spending the better part of my day immersed in thought, I guess you could say.

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It has been warmer the past couple days! It is 33 degrees right now as I am typing this and the sun is out again--whoohoo!! Chunks of ice and snow have been falling off the roof. It's supposed to go back below zero by Sunday, but this is really nice!

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Karma is even keeping me company all morning--lying on the floor (sans cat bed or crinkle bag) under the table while I do my classwork. The floor isn't as cold--hehe! ;)

Oh, and I forgot to post this. It completely slipped my mind, to be honest, about calling the fire marshall to ask about them clearing the sidewalk from the emergency exit. Maybe somebody else did? Suddenly they decided to use the snow plow to clear it off. Odd way to do it, but it has been cleared twice now. Nice! Who cares how they do it, right? ;)

Karma's been one happy grass-eating cat the past couple days! [Note: She really isn't quite as fat as she looks. See how thick her fur is. Karma is like a cushy teddy bear--hehe!]

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Smell well.

Locate the perfect spot and take a big mouthful.

Gnaw the clump of grass off with the side of your mouth.

Lick your chops...

...well and long.

Repeat.

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Australia was hit with double cyclones, it snowed in Texas and in the desert out west...strange weather we're having all over. I pray everyone is safe and sound.

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I have six more days of the class--more if they take another break day. I have already gathered up a stack of books to read and CDs to listen to because I want to keep up some kind of daily spiritual practice once this class is done. I can't continue to spend almost all day every day on it like I have been, but I want to figure out something that will work well for me. :)

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Anyways, Karma and I are doing well. I just heard another thunderous chunk let go off the roof. Life is good. :):)

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"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."

Aldous Huxley

Friday-9:30am

Dark and snowy morning. But warm! Could possibly hit 30 degrees--whoohoo!

I just had to tell you--talk about a mental block. I went to carefully write the date in my "good girl" journal last night and wrote down today's date. So, of course, I decided to wait and start tonight--ROFL! ;)

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Miss Karma has just been hanging out with her crinkle bag.

Me--I'm ready for lunch! :):)

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"One can't believe impossible things," Alice said. "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Lewis Carroll

Thursday-9:30am

A glorious golden sunrise this morning!

But--long before the sun came up I was working some more on Day 7--and then worked on Day 8 of the course/book. Silly Karma would not leave me alone--rubbing and crying--until I pulled up a chair for her next to me. (With flash--always looks so much brighter--like daytime.)

(Without.) And Karma didn't even sit facing me after all that begging...

...just hung over the arm of the chair, half awake. Maybe she was listening to the audio call and meditation? ;)

She shifted about on the chair, but never left...

...even when she finally conked out--ROFL!

I thought it was interesting that all the people who commented (on the call from Wednesday) mentioned they had trouble with Day 7 where we were supposed to write down all these positives about ourselves. (Honestly--stopped me dead for the two day break.) It's sad how easily we can think of the negatives, but how hard it is to say positive things about ourselves. Well, for some of us, I should say.

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Anyways, this one lady said she decided to make herself a little daily acknowledgement journal so that she could get into the habit of thinking good things about herself. To write down something at the end of each day--some thing positive about herself--what she did or said or accomplished or avoided. Something. I wondered about that idea. Challenging. A way to force yourself to actively think about yourself in a new light, you know?

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Well, darn it! I did try to make this picture stay upright three times, but it would flip back sideways even when I clicked "save". Anyways, I had this empty small Moleskine notebook...

...and I decided to make it into my own little "good girl" journal.

I thought printing off a picture of little me for the inside cover might help me be more compassionate toward myself. (This picture has kept popping into my head ever since I started meditation on New Year's Eve anyways--hehe!) So, I will keep my "good girl" journal by my bed and start tonight.

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It's about lunchtime for me, so I am off to nuke me some soup.

Life is good! :):)

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"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Mahatma Gandhi

Wednesday-6:30am

Quick hello on my day off from class--hehe!

Karma has still been bosom buddies with the birdie.

I was excited to hear a crow in the parking lot yesterday.

Love crows!

Made a what-do-I-have-in-the-pantry soup yesterday that turned out extra yummy! Vegetable broth, chickpeas, black beans, peas, barley, dried veggie soup flavoring mix, and some fine noodles. Very filling! Hearty meal in a bowl soup. :)

And I've been thinking a lot about this little girl.

Trying to learn how to forgive her...

...and to love and comfort her.

I've been judging her very harshly for nearly 60 years.

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Have a kind, forgiving day!! :):)

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"As one can see when the eyes are open, so one can understand when the heart is open."

Hazrat Inayat Khan

Tuesday-8am

Miss Karma has been snoozing next to the crinkle bag the past couple days. Not even the cooler floor can deter her fascination with the hidden bird. ;)

I did get out the dip pens--tada!

Have I mentioned before how much of a pen nut I am? ;)

I had some of these supplies long before I took the calligraphy class--let's see, must be about 17-18 years ago now. Here's all my dip pens--or pretty nib holders.

I also have some plain, utility-type nib holders that I used for practice, but these are all the cool ones.

Left to right, 2 metal, 2 glass, 3 wooden, a hand cut quill, and my all time favorite the feathered one with the brass nib holder.

Next I had to pick an ink bottle. I have this entire drawer filled with a variety of inks. Some are for drawing and art only. A lot of them can be used for dip pens and some of them can be used in fountain pens.

I also have these two Levenger boxes I keep in my desk hutch...

...that are sets good for fountain pens.

I picked a new brown J. Herbin ink bottle.

Love the few bottles I have with the built in pen holder.

Of course, I needed my wooden ink blotter.

And after I pick a pen, I have to pick a nib. I have this little plastic container that holds the used nibs (I picked from there). The ink eats away at the nibs, so I keep the used ones separate from...

...my bigger container of nibs.

I labeled them or I'd never remember which was which when it comes to reordering.

Out of all the nibs, I have only reordered three--this blue Brause...

...this blue Hiro...

...and my all time favorite for letter writing--this Brause nib...

...I have reordered twice. :)

It has a reservoir to hold ink so that you can write and write for quite a while before you need to get more ink. Talk about a thin calligraphic point, too. Love these!

If I am in a very contemplative mood I use one of the blue nibs. There is a soft rhythm to dipping and writing--dipping and writing--that comes with those nibs that need constant refilling. And they do tend to look even more like they are written with a dip pen--at least in my hands--hehe! The thick to thin handwriting--the occasional small blobs of ink...ahhh! Transports me to another age. :)

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But I chose my favs since I am out of practice, after all.

I always have a scratch pad nearby, too, so I can check to see that the ink isn't going to be coming out too fast after I first dip it.

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Anyways, it was marvelous! A slower pace to savor. :)

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Well, we have a day off tomorrow from the class. A perfect time for a break since we just finished up on "the past", which was a rough and enlightening week for me. I have lots of concepts to absorb and ponder. And since they won't post the Wednesday audio call and mediation until Thursday, I have a good long time to think about all of the things we covered the past week. (With my irregular hours I just wait till they post the following day.)

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Today Caroline comes to clean--but to me it feels like the weekend because I have two days off from class--ROFL! I don't want to lose my basic focus, tho--so I'll still be working on a little class stuff every day. ;)

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Happy, happy Tuesday!!! :):)

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"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."

Flora Whittemore

Monday-9am

I had no clue that there was a chirping bird contraption inside the lining of that crinkle bag. Leah thought it would be too annoying and never pulled the tab to activate it--forgot about it, so she never told me. Startled me, I tell you! I went to pick up the bag and move it and it started chirping--ROFL! Apparently Miss Karma decided to activate it herself. She's been intently focused on the crinkle bag since she discovered the bird on Saturday--hehe!

Dagan and Leah stopped by quickly yesterday afternoon. Dagan got the TV computer back online--tada!! I am up and running again. Thanks you guys!! Especially for coming out in that horrid icy wind yesterday. :):)

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I am working my way around the clock. Slept from evening till 3:30am--getting closer to "normal" hours. Hey--at least it was dark out. ;)

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Today I am washing clothes and plan to watch a couple of Netflix movies I never got around to this weekend. All caught up on the class for today. I never did get out my dip pen yesterday. Maybe today I will do that and just work on some letters--tada! I have been sooo involved with the class and class-related stuff for the last week that, well--for the rest of today I just plan to relax and enjoy the heat wave! We might hit the 20s today!! Whoohoo! True--the wind chill is still like ten below--but that's warmer than it has been.

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Happy Monday!

Hope it is a great week for everybody! :):)

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"A bird does not sing because he has an answer. He sings because he has a song."

Joan Walsh Anglund

Sunday-6:45am

This is where I have been spending a lot of time all night while most of you are sleeping. :) At my table working on class stuff--thinking, absorbing, meditating, and journaling away. I LOVE the new laptop stand--been using it to listen to the audios for the class. This picture was taken with a flash...

...but this is more what it really looks like--a little haven in the darkness.

Maybe I am able to focus so well on the classes because I am up all night and sleeping during the day, eh? The night is such a quiet, contemplative time. :):)

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I do take breaks to eat and rest my back--and play with Miss Karma.

Figures. She was totally slappin' wild when I first turned the laser pointer on, but the break to get the camera slowed her enthusiasm considerably--hehe!

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Anyways, the class has been challenging and absorbing. You know how when you have enough distance from some of the traumatic or sad or upsetting things in your life that you can look back and see the spiritual lessons you learned from them? Well, I am in the process of kind of trying to do the same thing with the negative stuff I have been carrying around. Trying to find the lessons, gifts, blessings, and wisdom from all that beat-yourself-up negative voices in your head and heart. Not easy. But it just might be the way to transform that toxic stuff I have been carrying around ever since I can remember (and maybe from lifetime to lifetime, for that matter) into something positive--and possibly heal it. Maybe? *she says hopefully*

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I have been so busy with the class that I have not watched much TV. When I have watched, I have been catching up on things I recorded, right? Well, somehow the computer lost Internet connection two days ago. It quit recording anything. I can't watch live TV, listen to Pandora, watch Instant Netflix--nothing but watch things I already recorded earlier (of which I have some current programming left to watch and lots of old movies I recorded). I can use the DVD player and the VHS tape player. Oddly--my laptop works just fine???

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Of course, I emailed Dagan during the night. The TV had acted up and wouldn't record a program on Friday night. I had called Dagan and he told me to restart the computer and unplug and replug the tuners--so I just figured that had worked (never assume)....until I checked now last night. So--that just goes to show you how heavily this TV baby has been into reading & journaling--and it is ABSOLUTE PROOF of how little I have had the TV on! TaDa!!

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I am just giggling over here. :)

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I got an email this morning from a pen company I follow and I had no idea that today is National Handwriting Day! I didn't even know there was such a thing. I shall have to think of that as I am doing some more journaling today. Maybe I should even drag out one of my dip pens and a bottle of ink! Ahhh!

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It's only eight below and supposed to get up to 14 degrees today! Above zero! Whoohoo! Heat wave--hehe! Karma might actually want to go out on the porch today--hehe! Anyways, hope you are having an inspiring weekend!! :):)

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"A spiritual person tries less to be godly than to be deeply human."

Rev. William Sloane Coffin, Jr.