Friday, December 31, 2010

Me, GA, and SC-Part 6: Soul Comfort

Okay--it's New Year's Eve morning and this is the final installment. :)

You'd think I'd remember the date on something as monumental as this, but I don't. I'm sure I have it written down somewhere in my "Angel Books" (small spiral notebooks where I thought on paper to GA about all this stuff--which I definitely am glad I didn't destroy and think I should go back and read now). Anyways, the years I did energy work mostly were from 1993 to 1999 when I moved up here to Fargo-Moorhead--and very infrequently the last two of those years due to the hours I put in at the senior building working two jobs.

I'm guessing this was somewhere in 1995:

The hypnotherapist, Gary, and I had worked out a trade. I was hoping to get more information through hypnosis. Gary did hypnosis sessions with me and then I did some energy work with him.

I found that I could use Healing Touch methods to work my way around the person, but then when I got back to their heads I always felt compelled to stay there. Had this strong need to hold their head in my hands--and even got to where I had a specific placement of my fingers cupping the sides of their head with thumbs near their crown that just felt right. People said they could feel energy coming down their body from their head and many people dozed off--hehe! I had occasionally been feeling more of that zappy energy when I worked on people--that tingly feeling I got coming down into the top of my head and out my hands.

Gary usually scheduled me as his last client so that I could work on him after he did the hypnosis session with me and we had no time constraints. We'd pull his big comfortable hypnosis lounger chair out into the room so that I could make my way around the lounger and eventually sit in a hardback chair behind his head. We had already done this a couple of times previously, so we kind of had a routine.

I'd worked my way around his body, had settled into the chair, and was holding his head as he lay prone in the lounger. Everything was normal, but I remember I did feel more energy in my hands the whole time before I got to his head.

After a couple of minutes something started to happen to me. The tingling sensation washed strongly down over my entire body and I had this feeling more was coming. I remember I kind of sucked in my breath and was actually frightened for a moment. The unknown, you know?! Get ready--GA popped into my head--and I automatically started this rapid mouth/nose breathing thing I'd never done in my life--and felt like I was almost lifted up ram-rod straight in that chair. Open your heart. I quit resisting it at all--handed myself over--trusting GA...and this tremendous force of vibrating energy came down through the top of my head, bolted me to the spot, and quite literally took my breath away.

I couldn't move--my hands, my feet, my body--and I could feel my hands vibrating on the sides of Gary's head. The energy came in waves--down into the top of my head and out my hands. Tears streamed down my face. I don't even know how to describe the experience very well in words. Was like having this pure god-love passing through my body. Total peace, joy, love, forgiveness... Awe--no, there's not a big enough word for how that vibrating energy felt flowing through me.

After about 10 minutes the waves subsided and my hands slowly stopped vibrating. I felt crazy wonderful--like floating with joy! Gary had listened to my sudden panting and how I stopped just as suddenly and felt my hands start to vibrate. He had just kept quiet and let the energy flow through him. Listened to me tell him afterwards what happened to me. Neither of us knew exactly what had happened, but knew it was a good thing. :)

I thought this intense energy occurrence was probably a one-time thing, you know? But then later on it happened again when I was working on somebody else! And then again. I asked the ladies in the Women's Group, but none of them had heard of anything like it.

[Aside: The women asked me to see if it might happen with one of them at one of our meetings. To my surprise--it happened. Jill, the really visual one who did long-distance healing on Dagan, said she saw this huge pillar of white light come down from above me that enveloped my entire body and also the person I was working on!?]

The intense vibrating energy would happen randomly and very infrequently. Never happened with the same person twice. I had no control over who or when. If I tried to force it to happen--the energy actually dropped. Like GA indicated in the first place--I had to get out of the way. My ego cannot be involved--at all--like in a crisis. That energy passes through me--like a super straw--but it's none of my business, you know? It is not mine to control or direct. True--who am I to think I could know what a particular soul needs? Just like with the people on the bummers--and how I trusted that I would be guided. Not my doing. Faith. (Honestly--I would probably screw it up if my head consciously got involved--ROFL!)

GA gave me a kind of image one time of there being layers and layers of energy--from deep inside a person's body and spreading outward--very far, actually. A person may have physical, intellectual, or emotional issues--but all those obstacles or wounds or blockages or whatever you want to call them--they are all chosen to be carried by that soul--sometimes for many lifetimes. They can choose to learn, accept, and release them, too. Free will. And since we don't know what particular soul lesson is being learned, we don't know what obstacles that individual needs to learn to overcome. Or when divine elimination of an obstacle may be the very source of knowledge for that particular soul. (God can do anything.)

This gift of free will is a double-edged sword. We can be our own worst enemy. When we don't have to be. We can choose to cling to our particular dark spots or obstacles and carry them with us. When, in fact, each of us is a shining, pure, vibrational note of soul energy. One unique note in God's orchestral symphony.

This godforce energy felt too--well--holy for me to be calling it "bunny stuff" anymore. Good grief! That was like making light of something that felt so precious, you know? It was actually GA who gave me the term "soul comfort" to describe it. Perfect!

Well, looking back, I would probably guess that what I came to call the "full blown soul comfort" only happened maybe a dozen times altogether. The last time was a while before I moved up here in 1999.

[Aside: I bought my very first computer in 1998. When I was supposed to pick a screen name--and back then they told people not to use their own names--just to be clear on this, it was GA who wanted me to use soulcomfort. That just seemed sooo arrogant and was extremely uncomfortable to me. I couldn't decide on another name--kind of argued in my head, like we do, over this for a day or two. (I only had a couple hours a day online available to me back then-on call and only one phone line.) What GA does--he just keeps popping something into my head--over and over and over. Very annoying when you are trying to work. I finally relented. (Figured I could change it later, but get him off my case--hehe!) Turned out--over the years--I have grown comfortable with it. But now that I have told you all this story--maybe not so much anymore.]

Well, all of this long tale was actually leading somewhere. GA gave me new "information" mid-December. I am supposed to learn how to do the full blown Soul Comfort here--by myself. Just send it outward.

Say what?! (He's been really quiet for the better part of a decade! Then, out of the clear blue sky he hits me with this!?)

It's for you, too--he tells me.

That struck to the very heart of one of my major core issues. Not feeling worthy. Makes me cry to even talk about this. I've been getting from GA that, for it to work the very best way, I have to include the straw itself--allowing and absorbing that energy, too.

I have been wrestling with this for the last two weeks. Feels like a lifetime ago that I was doing energy work--over 11 years now. Truth--GA wanted me to write about all of this for all these days and be done by today--New Year's Eve. I got that loud and clear after Dagan and Leah and I had Sacred Circle on the 21st. Probably because I needed to let this sink in and I told Dagan and Leah I planned to start trying to learn how to do this at my usual New Year's Eve ceremony I'd be doing by myself. (Can check other years on my blog.)

As I told you--it is shocking how well I have been physically doing despite sitting at the computer all these hours--for all these days! (Maybe I am already accepting some of that energy??) And I know one big reason why he wanted me to write about this. When I write--I kind of go back there, you know? The writing has turned out to be almost like spiritual prep time--ROFL!

I'm sure I'll have more to say along the line, but now you are all caught up. 2011 is the year for Soul Comfort. Since it took me a long time (1-2 years?) to build up to being able to handle the intensity of that energy before, I am not expecting to reach that point for quite a while--but I will tell you all about it if and when it happens. :):)

Tonight: I will gather up all my crystals and such, like I always do. Since we just had Sacred Circle and did the angel cards and burning bowl--I think I will just write in my brand new spiritual journal. And then I am going to light a candle, turn on my Music To Disappear In CD (yes, I have it on CD now--wore out a couple cassettes--hehe!), sit quietly, and hand myself over.

Wish me luck! :)

Happy, happy, happy new year!!!


Rebag said...

Happy New Year Rita,

God works in so many awesome ways!! I was stranded at work, managed to get home today and thought I would kick back a few hours and catch up on blogs and my oh my dear Lady, what an awesome.....spiritual, emotional read this has been for me this evening, I have read all of your entries plus the back files and stories....

You have been given a very special gift,... your energy and healing, touch so many lives, even at times we do not know, but also your your writings, your willingness to expose your life so openly, so deeply..

I have no doubt you have touched many readers this season!

Thank you very much for sharing this inspiration!

God Bless You... and Happy New Year~


Queenie Jeannie said...

What an amazing story!! You obviously have a special gift and I'm happy to hear that you are "giving into it"! Looking forward to hearing more!

Happy New Year! May you be blessed and bless others!!

akartisan said...

yes, maybe it's meant for the energy to come and heal you as well.

A couple of days ago, you talked about people doing energy work in the hospitals. One of my friends here has a small celtic harp and plays harp music for patients, especially those nearing their end.

AliceKay said...

You have a gift, no doubt about that. GA has guided you, and from what I have read over the past several days, your gift is now to help you. It sounds like it already has in many ways. Thank you for sharing your story of SoulComfort. By the way, I think the "screen name" fits you nicely.

Good luck....and Happy New Year, Rita!

Rita said...

Reba--OMGosh! I don't know what to say. Thank you so much. It would be so wonderful to think you could touch other people's lives in a positive way. What better thing could there be? :):):)

Jeannie--Thanks, Lady! Giving in to it ad handing myself over may take a bit of practice--ROFL! But I am going to keep at it. It is already such a good thing. *big grin*

Sue--Oh that sounds so soothing for those people. I love harp music. Some of the CDs I have are of harpists. There's something about a harp that lifts the soul--almost angelic. :)

AliceKay--Thanks! It took me a long time to get used to using the name online. But if I had a business with clients, that would be the name...and people use their business names for online names...well, that's what I kept telling myself, anyways--hehe! I had no business or clients--ROFL! ;)

Serena Lewis said...

You are most certainly worthy of the name - Soul Comfort. It suits you perfectly, Rita, because you do offer comfort the Soul. I think it's awesome that you are able to channel the healing energy and I think it's great that you are getting back into it on a regular basis. As you know, I want to get into doing some Self/Soul work this year too...I truly believe that regular connection to Source/God works wonders in our lives.

Many blessings to you, dear friend,
Serena xo

P.S. - WOW! I didn't realise I had fallen so far behind on your blog...sorry. I'm taking a break for lunch and will come back later to do more catching up. xo

Rita said...

Serena--Offering comfort for a soul is one of the highest honors in my book. I can think of nothing I'd love more than to one day be a guardian angel for someone else. Wow! Gives me chills!

I am working on accepting and allowing the energy to work on me, too. (GA is bugging the heck out of me--ROFL!) Worthiness is a huge issue with me. That's what I am working on as I do my SC/meditation sessions.

I had cut back on postings--but I have had a lot to say lately--hehe! I really am still only posting when I have something to show or talk about--hehe! ;)

Intense Guy said...

I've finally put aside the shovel and took some time to read this through and to absorb what you are saying.

There are many examples of meditative postures and "yogic" mind states - and even Buddha-like spiritual moments of internal illumination... and yet yours sounds so unique. Each of us have different "obstacles" to the energy within us - those dark spots you mentioned - that shape our individuality.

I hope that 2011 is your year - and perhaps that long period of hermit-like seclusion will end and your fibro- will fade away or heal.

There is a lot to that "mind over matter" mantra.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

-- Buddha

Rita said...

Iggy--I looked around online, too. Lots of interesting stuff, but I didn't run across anything that sounded like my soul comfort stuff. Yet. ;)

I can't imagine NOT being housebound. Having a day without pain. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I tried the mind over matter with the health issues--and I was pretty good at it in the first place--but I lost big time. Maybe "handing it over" will eventually reap better results. :)

I think I am learning that most of my "evil" or negative thoughts are and have been directed at myself. And pain IS following me around--hehe! I want a great big happiness shadow! ;)

I think 2011 is going to be an enlightening and positive year. :):)