Tuesday, January 16, 2007


I remember every time I look at this picture--how amazed to the core I was when I received this counted cross stitch angel from my sister, Renee. Absolutely beautiful--even has shimmery golden threads! Renee and I weren't even talking much at the time. I didn't even realize she was aware of how much I love angels--especially adult angels. It choked me up.

Still does.

I am so glad that we are talking again now. NayNay--you will always be my little sister. I will always wish I could somehow protect you and my little brother, Blaine--and I will always love you both. We don't always talk about how we feel--don't even talk to each other much period. That Swedish/Scandinavian/MidWestern reticence...
...heard tell of a Swede who loved his wife so much that he almost told her.

Thank you, Renee. :)

Dagan, Leah, and I watched The Secret last night. Ordered chicken fried rice delivery--such a treat for me!! Delicious!! I have been thinking a lot about all the concepts ever since. So much of it already fits into my basic core beliefs--but it is so much more precise--focused--and yet so much broader and all-encompassing at the same time. I am usually not at a loss for words, as you know, but this has my head spinning and my heart leaping. I have to digest it all and try it out to see if it really works. I sit and think about the times in my life it has worked--even when I wasn't aware of what I was doing--what I was asking for. I am processing. I am absorbing. I am going thru an inner shift.

If anybody is interested -- can order, watch, etc:
http://www.thesecret.tv/ or

Dagan ordered the audio CD already today. It is something you want to hear over and over again--to absorb it--to believe. It is one of those times that you hear something and your soul knows it is truth--it rings with truth to the core of my being.

I know I am my own worst enemy. I know that most of us were raised with constant negatives all around us--even when we weren't aware of it. I've even been looking at commercials differently. And I am glad I made the decision not to watch the news as much as possible since the 60s!! I am looking at television differently--me! The TV baby!! I am actually thinking about dropping Cable TV!! I have Netflix and the Internet. With rabbit ears I can probably get the four or five channels available without cable. That would be a huge change! I would have to do other things: read, write, crafts, art, work on my website.....exercise!! hehe!

The deepest question--if there were no limitations whatsoever--what do I really want my life to be like? What do I want to be doing? Where do I want to live? How do I want to feel?

Obviously, the Universe is trying to tell me something. Remember Dr. John? This is what he asked me, too!! That is why I started (what I thought was) the "silly" scrapbook---which I am going to get back to now!! :) The Secret talked about making up a collage of the things you want in your life.

Can I feel/visualize myself healthy--my perfect body weight--filled with energy--doing what I love that makes my soul soar? Can I believe I am worth it? (I just got tears in my eyes just typing that!)

I have a core belief that God/The Universe is there for anybody or anything else--but me. That is how Soul Comfort works for me. I ask to be of assistance for somebody or an animal--whoever needs the help in crisis-- I HAVE ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL FAITH THAT IT IS SO -- and the energy will come and pass thru me to them. I am the conduit. The straw. I am grateful for the residual effects of that awesome power passing thru me--that I receive by default. Makes me cry every time. I am crying now.

So, I know that if you ask and believe--you shall receive. Somehow I have to believe--at my core--that I am worth receiving, too. I honestly don't/didn't know how to do that. But--The Secret has given me hope and ideas of how to change my feelings of inherent worthlessness. I had asked for help to deal with my shadow self and my demons this year. Wow! Started out with a bang, eh? This should prove to be an amazing year!!

So--I absorb--I think--am more aware of what I am always telling myself--of my expectations and beliefs. I am learning to be alert to how I feel. We do know the difference between feeling bad and feeling good. And we can change it when we are aware we are feeling badly. Music is an easy way for me. More music--less TV!! hehe!

Blessings to you and yours!!

No comments: